Some listicle I read last month had me ask aloud to my roommate: "Was I basic in college?!"
The list goes through things basic white girls do during the Fall, and subsequently post on Instagram. You know the drill: pick up Pumpkin Spice Lattes (I guess I am non-basic in that regard, because it tastes like dirt to me), wear flannels, take a photo of leaves, and wear Uggs. (I love my Uggs. +2 points for being extra basic.)
Anyway, this got me thinking about the basic movement... and how many debates have ensued because of it. Women are terrified of being labeled basic, much like men are horrified when they're labeled "bros." Here's the thing though: OWN YOUR BASICNESS. I did a long time ago and I'm pretty fulfilled with that life decision.
How I know I'm basic:
I'm about three steps away from posting Taylor Swift lyrics as a caption to an upcoming Instagram post. I got a blank space baby, and I'll write your name.
I love all things luxurious when it comes to beauty, and I adore perfumes like Dolce & Gabbana's Velvet Desire, but my signature scent is, to this day, still Victoria's Secret Love Spell. Yes. The body spray I've worn since 7th grade. (Men love it, just trust me on this one.) And while another big scent splurge is Tom Ford's Neroli Portfofino (I'm obsessed with Neroli), Rodin's Parfum makes me feel like the ultimate woman, and Falling in Love by Philosophy is delightful, most times a little Peach & Cherry Blossom action from VS does the trick. Although, I am also convinced that a man doesn't want you to smell like a peach, or any fruit that matter — they just want you to smell good. Which is why I do invest in the good stuff.
As previously mentioned, I love UGGs. I really don't care that everyone hates shearling and hopes it dies a slow, painful death. I have four pairs: tall, short, regular and a cool leather bootie with shearling inside of it. I wore them in college, I will wear them to Starbucks, and occasionally I'll sport them at work when I know I have a long shoot day ahead of me. SUE ME. You'll get a lifetime supply of UGGs.
So let's be real here: I AM BASIC. While I might be the girl who goes in scary face paint to a Halloween party or dresses up as Twitter, or colors her hair every color of the rainbow, my efforts to be me and not conform end up making me basic by default. Because we're all just trying to stand out, am I right?
Here's how to know you're basic: a definitive guide, if you will. And it's super simple. (Just three steps!)
1. You don't think you're basic.
This is a tell-tale sign that you are the most elementary of them all. Girl, you're the queen of basic. QUEEN B, if you will? Sure, you hate the Kardashians, you only drink artisanal coffee, and your spirit animal is Tavi Gevinson, but your efforts to avoid all basicness makes you one of the most basic of all. You probably have a fashion blog and aspire to get as many Instagram followers as possible. It's fine, but you aren't fooling anyone.
2. You love Beyoncé.
Beyoncé is talented, she has a cute child; her music is danceable. Do I like Beyoncé? Of course I do — Houston, Texas REPRESENT. While literally breaking the internet serves as her reason to be non-basic, all of us ladies who run around blasting ***Flawless while getting ready, or get dressed in our best red flannel and cutoff shorts look in an effort to gain at ounce of her Yoncéness are, in fact, bae-sick. But keep on keepin' on... basics loving Beyoncé bring people together.
3. You hashtag the hell out of your Instagram photos.
I applaud the people who hashtag in order to get followers. I get it. If you're hashtagging #overalls on a photo of you wearing overalls, congrats! You are hashtagging correctly. I even love a good sarcastic hashtag, a la #wtf #help #scarytimes #donttouchme. But hashtagging your nickname or your child... Basic with a capital B. Hashtagging #cinnamon #pumpkin #spice #pumpkinspice #starbs #starbucks #thebucks #coffee #espresso #soy for that 800th Pumpkin Spice Latte you've purchased this season? Just stop. (Also, we only need one photo of that PSL. Nothing more.)
Should you not want to be basic, let me give you some pointers:
Don't give any craps about this post.
This isn't a PSA to become unbasic. This isn't to ridicule those of us who fall into this category. Who cares, anyway? Do you. At the end of the day, even the girls who try their hardest to step outside the box, be different and not conform to society end up being basic because it's all been done before. So see? Nobody can win. Even Beyoncé has a team that curates ideas, writes her songs and she's even been accused of taking inspiration from indie artists in her music videos. If Queenyoncé can fall, we all can.