Oct 14, 2009

The Salon Files

As most of you die-hard readers know, I am currently airbrush tanning to make a living out here in Cali. It's a ridiculous job so of course I'd have to do it. I started off airbrush tanning in Texas as the tanning manager of a local Fort Worth salon so naturally once I got out here I figured I could make some serious tips if I found a good position.

Well, let me say that working in any spa or salon brings serious dramz. I'm not kidding. You would think I was working at Sunset Tan with all the crap that goes on here - but it's not even at my salon. Our studio is within a high profile hair salon and 100% of the immaturity and idiocy is result from the stylists. Yes, that might be a tad harsh and offensive but these people know that they are not a delight to work with.

I'm just going to give you a run-down of everyone here: pretty much every male stylist is gay. Duh. Most of them like to wear eyeliner on nights out and even my hairdresser enjoys getting botox, airbrush tans, the whole nine yards. He does some great hair though (even if it takes him FIVE hours for a cut and highlight). I'm def not in Texas anymore.

The women, in my opinion, are okay stylists but not absolutely fabulous. They do a good 'do but I wouldn't trust them with my hair.

The best women in the salon are the make-up artists/waxers who are fun, outgoing and not nutcases.

I think you might be thinking, "Kirbie! You're shooting yourself in the foot saying all of this. What if they read it?" Well, first of all, nothing that I am saying isn't true. I speak the truth, folks. And second, I'm not being offensive to the people who are actually nice to me. So there.

Anyway, I pray to God that if any of you come into this salon that you DO NOT under any circumstance get your nails done. They charge an arm and a leg yet don't cut your cuticles OR give you the blissful foot/hand massage that one (such as moi) comes to expect from a great mani/pedi. The HORROR. But seriously, one woman barely coated my nails and the other one made me think Helen Keller started a manicuring business. It's THAT bad.

So my point? Last night we had a benefit and I was all kinds of worried about what the crazies at the salon were going to do. Everything was going smooth until sure enough the crazy old manicure lady, who on various occasions has mentioned that she used to "perform" (aka strip) and could get us any drug we wanted (no thank you), busts out a tamberine and starts attempting to shake it to the beat of the DJ's music. FAIL. Did not even come close to the beat. Not to mention she got drunk, painted some people's nails which, honestly, didn't really affect the outcome because it looks like she's drunk painting all of the time, and then started doing real bizarre dance moves. Not to mention she starting singing "Christmas Don't Be Late" by The Chipmunks at the end of the night while the tanning girls and myself were trying to clean up.

Life in Beverly Hills. What a scary yet interesting place to be - and ironically the most luxurious.

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