Jan 31, 2011

Bachelor Week Five Recap

So much happened this episode... it was long!  Lots of commentary.
  • I wish I had Chris Harrison to come in my living room when my relationship was "about to get serious." I also wish when things were about to get serious I'd get whisked away to Vegas.  Blackjack anyone?
  • These girls are too thrilled about going to Sin City.  I think some of them (delusion-ally) hope they'll head over to the Little Chapel of Love and get hitched.  <----   AH!  Alli literally just said that.  Haha.
  • I think Shawntel N. is really pretty.  She's tiny.  She looks AMAZING.  I can't believe Brad took her on a shopping spree!  Don't lie, any girl would love that.  Just the other day I was thinking, "I'd love to go to a mall and buy whatever I wanted."  So jealous.  I'm totally digging Brad's collared shirt/vest combo.  
  • Bahahah "I really, really, really wish I had the one-on-one date with Brad." -- Michelle.  Well Michelle, don't we all?  But then again your last name is gold digger  Money.  Also, she's looking a little crystal meth-y today.  Am I right?
  • I really really like Shawntel.  I've mentioned before that I'm rather curious about death.  I know it sounds morbid, but I am.  I find it fascinating to read about.  So yeah, it's kind of bizarre she's talking to Brad about embalming on a date, but I bet you he's never done that before.  And she was so poised about it, you didn't see her as "Cray-Cray-Shawntel."  You just saw a hot chick talking about her job.
  • Soooo Ashley & Ashley are going on the 2-on-1 and everyone is emotional, except (of course) Michelle.  Because who doesn't like seeing best friends go head-to-head?  
  • The producers are major a-holes (we all know Brad didn't plan this Nascar date, or any date for that matter).  I can't even believe they did this to poor Emily.  Brad obviously has no idea, and the crew all knew Emily's late fiance was a race car driver.  
  • Brad, you're doing well on your clothing choices this episode!  Loved the purple tie on your date, love the button-up henley you're sporting at the race track.
  • This date terrifies me.  As clumsy as I am, I would lose control of the car, flip, something nuts. 
  • My heart is breaking for Emily.  She is a doll and a half and while she wasn't frowning or crying, one shot showed her like she was about to burst into tears.  Hell, I would be a basket case.  That is some heavy stuff to take on, especially if she hadn't been to a race track since.  Do these producers have no soul?  Obviously it's all for the ratings...
  • Oh LORD.  He crashed at that track?  This is depressing.  Brad's face just looks full of shame.  Poor guy, I really wish they wouldn't have put either of them in this position.
  • It's hard to believe she's 24.  This woman is my age!  Her maturity level is unreal.  She's a better woman than I am... I would not be holding myself together as well as she.  I'm really proud that she went through with racing on the track and I'm sure Ricky is looking down just so proud of her (I sound like I know her.  When the heck did I become a fan of The Bachelor?!).
  • Commence every woman getting jealous and pissy about Brad talking to Emily all the time.  Alli is a cold, heartless witch now because of her insensitivity to Emily.  I get it, Brad keeps talking to Emily.  But it's appropriate.  Chantal O., for the love.  She's officially been deemed "the cryer."  And she's needy.  Perrrrrrrrfect, that's what every guy loves...
  • Michelle keeps striking out.  She always is talking about the other girls.  Listen lady: why don't you spend your time trying to convince Brad you're not a nutcase instead of bashing everyone else.  *Well, that might be one way to convince him.  She's laying one on him and he's loving it.  
  • How could you not love Emily?  She's gorgeous, sweet as a peach, has her priorities in order.  Well deserved rose!
  • I can't stop thinking about Emily and her late fiance.  How terrible would it be to find the love of your life and lose him?  She can't call him if she needs, he's not there to see his baby grow up.  It's heart-wrenching.  At the risk of sounding totally cliche, don't take the ones you love for granted.
  • So Ashley and Ashley are on their date with Brad and they're vying for not only Brad's affection, but a spot in the VIVA Elvis Cirque du Soleil show.  Not going to play it down, this is an awesome date.  Except I  can't stop laughing at Brad.  He's trying to do this choreographed dance while being lifted into the air and he looks like a robot!!!
  • This is going to be awkward.  How is he going to give away this single rose?  They're BOTH sitting right there!  I except some waterworks...
  • I can't believe he kept basketcase Ashley H!!!!  How can you send home Ashley "Kiss from a Rose" S.?! YOU SANG KISS FROM A ROSE!!!
  • Brad looks terrified right now with Michelle before the rose ceremony.  AND HOW.  She's a scary woman.
Okay so the two randoms (Marissa and Lisa) got sent packing along with Ashley S.  Womp womp.  

Until next week...

MEN: The Survey

JonBenet Ramsey.  The Zodiac Killer.  The male population.  Just a few of life's unsolved mysteries.

In an attempt to better understand the latter, I decided to whip up a survey and see what took place when everything a man said was 100% annonymous.    

Can I just say that I wish I did this survey A LOT sooner?  It was incredibly insightful.  The whole reason I wanted to do it came from some inspiration on Glamour's website regarding men.  One was with Ashton Kutcher and he said things like, "All men hate Valentine's Day. 100% guaranteed.  Even if they are romantic."  And then this extra-juicy guy survey gave me tidbits like:

  • 36% of men are 'boob' guys, 33% are 'butt' guys
  • 54% of men would not take a male birth control pill
  • 32% of men would take Mark Zuckerberg's life, the most over Bieber, Jay-Z, The Situation, Obama and Roger Federer
  • 56% of guys want to sleep with their female friends
  • Only 19% can distinguish breast implants from real breasts

Hmm.  That's super, except it gives me no useful information.  Like, what do guys want for Valentine's, if anything?  Who would they choose from a line up?  What's one thing they would tell us if they could? So I made my own.  The only criteria: they had to be single (in my context, unmarried) and under the age of 35.

Here goes nothing.

Question 1) What do you want for Valentine's?
  • A homemade dinner 38%
  • I don't care, as long as she takes her clothes off later 32%  (Go figure.)
  • Tickets to a sporting event 24% 
  • A flask with my name written on it 2%
Awwww, from the heart!

Question 2) The first thing I notice about a woman is
  • Her body  44%
  • Her eyes  26%
  • Her smile/teeth  26%
  • If she's wearing too much make-up  3%
  • If she has good or bad skin  0%
*Her smile/teeth was started off with the most votes!
Ladies, better get to workin' on that fitness. 

Question 3) My ideal woman is
  • Erin Andrews: Girl-next-door with personality  47%
"Because hooking up is not the most important thing to me. What's important is having a woman with some values, who knows how to restrain herself from acting like a fool. Girl-next-door implies she knows how to act like a woman."
"- Independent - Good looking - Professional - Good looking"

  • Emmanuelle Chriqui: Can hang with the guys  29%
"If she can hang with the guys I figure she must be athletic and have that girl next door personality. Probably enjoys sports, but when it comes to emmanuelle she can definitely be very feminine too."

  • Brooklyn Decker: Athletic and curvy 24%
"As a former college athlete, I am an active person who loves athleticism in a girl! Further, curviness and hotness are a must ala B. Decker!"
"She's gorgeous, comes from southern roots, and seems like she'd be a great mom. Out of the girls listed she seems the most wholesome and real to me."

  • Beyonce: Powerful and can hold her own 0%
Shocking!  A tall blonde who reports on sports for a living?  Of course men love her! (I do too.)  Surprised nobody picked Beyo -- inferiority complex???

Question 4)  I want women to know that
*This was an essay question of sorts.  Here are a few highlights:
  • "Just be yourself. Acting like something you aren't may interest someone for a while, but it won't be real nor last. Think that goes both ways." (Find this guy and snatch him up, ladies!!)
  • "There is more to a relationship than sex. Dont sell yourself short on that." (Yes there is.)
  • "Yes, looks are the first thing we look at. As I have matured believe it or not we do care a lot about personality. We don't want high drama, we love a girl who knows sports, and we love to be taken care of just as much as you like to be."  (Oh trust me, we all know you guys like to be taken care of...)
  • "It's not you, it's us."  (We all have our issues.  And at one point it won't be you.  You'll work out your issues/fears/problems/whatever and then be able to be with someone who excites you and makes you happy to be who you've become!  Sunny side to everything.)
  • "She is more in control than she thinks. Meaning that at the end of the day, she only has her respect and keeping that in tact should mean something to her." (Always nice to hear.)
  • "College football isnt just about tailgaiting. There is an actual game inside the stadium."  (Bahaha, so true.)
  • "Having threesomes is cool." (No.  It isn't.)

Question 5)  I'm most concerned with
  • My future  74%
  • My finances  15%
  • My athleticism  9%
  • How well I'm aging (skin, body, hair) 3%  Only one guy cares about this type of thing.
If you're under the age of 35, you're apparently freaking out about your path in life!   Makes sense.  Aren't we all?

Question 6)  Pick one:
  • Sex 69% (I'm not kidding)
  • Sports 23%
  • Gaming  8% (Really?)

Question 7) I will not date a girl if
  • My family doesn't like her 35%
  • She has cheated on previous boyfriends 32%
  • My friends don't like her 29%
  • She has had a threesome 3%
Close call between family and cheating, which leads me to believe you guys have a guarded heart and some family priorities.

Question 8)  My ideal age to get married is
  • 25-30  53%  "I think by that time I'll be mature enough to handle such a special relationship. Also, I plan to be excelling in my career and have gotten all the "college" partying out of my system." 
  • 30-35  38%
  • 20-25   9%
Most men were concerned about getting their career going and finances in order before deciding to commit -- they also commonly mentioned that their wife would probably have their life together as well.

Question 9)  If I've been dating a girl over six months and haven't said "I love you," it's because
*Fill in the blank
The most common answer was... drumroll please:

"I don't." 

Actual answers: 
  • I'm just using her. If you can't say "I love you" after six months, it's probably not going to happen
  • For me it would be that I was unsure about the relationship and if i really saw it as a long term thing.
  • i just don't feel it yet, and i'll only say it once i truly know and am sure
  • It wasn't a serious relationship.
  • I'm not really in love with her. If I love someone, I usually know pretty early and have no problems saying how I feel
See ladies?  Stop wasting your time and making up excuses!  Most men know by that point if it's serious.  If you're committing and he isn't, chances are he won't.  Ever. 
The second most common was that he was scared you weren't at the same point and didn't want to be rejected.

Question 10)  I don't like it when a woman
*Select all that apply
The top answer was:

Plays hard to get. (37%)  

Is anyone surprised?  Actually, I am.  I thought guys liked a good chase.  Doesn't it always seem like guys are more interested in you when you're unavailable OR, better yet, unattainable? I'd love to know what "playing hard to get" means to a man.  (Should have asked.  Drats!)

"Wears hair extensions" and "Wears fake eyelashes" were 2nd and 3rd on the list of dislikes, however, the funny part about that is that all of those women they voted on have on extensions and fake eyelashes in the photos they looked at.  Honestly guys, I don't think you can actually tell when we wear them and when we don't.  I once ripped out a chunk of my eyelashes in '08 and had to wear a few individual false lashes on that eye for FOUR MONTHS.  I managed to nab myself a boyfriend in the process.   Therefore, I'm interpreting those responses to mean that you don't like "fake-looking" girls.  You don't want a chick wearing that stuff all the time or in massive amounts.   But if they're good lashes or good hair, you won't notice and thus care.

And, I know some of you guys were probably wondering why I put "wears skinny jeans" as an option.  Well, February's issue of InStyle states men don't dig women in skinny jeans.  So I thought I'd see if that was true or not.

Well ladies, I hope this was insightful in some way.  I thoroughly enjoyed getting the responses.  If anything, at least you know what to do for a guy on Valentine's! :)

MENtervention Monday: Be polite!

That's that time again...

I feel like this segment should be called "boy-tervention," except that doesn't sound as refined.  But the truth is that when you're a man, you won't have to read this blog and learn from it.  You'll already be doing these things or not doing these things.  You'll be like, "Oh Kirbie, I remember those silly days I  still tried to pick up random hoes at a bar."  And then remember that everything I said about the jealous girlfriend is true (and how you should have dropped her like a bad habit) and how you single-handedly terrified every woman before you finally realized that sending a chick cupcakes on the second date when you haven't even kissed is not approp.

You know what else is not approp?  Well, there's a myriad of things.  But today I'm talking about being polite.

I'm used to it by now.  There are a lot of boistrous men out here who do everything from making cat calls (because that has always impressed a woman) and text inappropriate messages (because they're idiots).  But if you were raised in the midwest or the south, you should know better.  He's a universal rule of thumb when it comes to being polite:

DO NOT curse in front of a girl.  I don't know what's worse: cussing in front of a new date or cussing in front of your significant other.  It's all about the principle of things -- Ladies are delicate.  They're poised.  And even if they aren't, you shouldn't be throwing around profanities in front of them like they're one of the guys.  I'm the first to admit that maybe, perhaps, sometimes (...) I will let out a few profanities.  But I try to keep it to a minimum and generally try to stray away from it in public (and in front of guys).  In the same regard, I'd like a guy I'm interested in to do the same.  As in, don't come up to me at a bar and talk about how "you're a p*ssy" because blah blah blah (yes, someone did say that to me).  It's totally unattractive.  Girls like guys who make them feel secure and protected and who will take a stand when things get out of hand.  They like it when we're put on a pedestal (of sorts).   Would you curse in front of the Queen?  Your mother?  Then don't do it in front of a girl you're trying to date.

Play nice with others.  I can't tell you how disappointing it is when you meet a handsome guy who gets condescending to other guys when they come into the picture.  Granted, it can be kind of sexy when some guy tries to lay his mack down and your boyfriend tells you he wants to break the guy's neck, because, as I have mentioned before, a little bit of jealousy is healthy and hot!  But it's so lame if you're starting to date a girl and you see her talking to a friend (or any guy really) and you decide to make a rude remark about them, what they're wearing, who they work for, and so on.  It shows you're obviously jealous and insecure that we're talking to another dude.   Turn off! Please chill out.  And an easy way to "mark your territory" (if it's yours to be marked) is to go up to her while she's talking to him and wrap your arms around her waist or plant a kiss on her neck or cheek.  Making fun or embarrassing another person only makes you look like an a-hole.  Nobody aspires to date one of those.

Follow through.  You tell a girl you're going to call her.  JUST CALL HER! Don't play games.  Excuses are an easy way to No Man's Land... so be upfront about your intentions.   Girls read into signs.  If you can't keep your word within the few first dates, what makes you think we're going to believe you'll keep your word when it gets more serious?  If you're dating someone OR getting serious, then don't tell a girl you want to hang out when you really don't want to and then make up endless excuses later.  It's not courteous.  Give her respect and let her go about her own business, she'll appreciate that more than feeling stood up.  Women are planners, so they're going to probably clean their place to perfection, get their workout in early and plan their other errands/chores around you guys hanging out.  You might not think so at the time, but it's inconsiderate when you lead them on or aren't up front about what you're doing or what you plan to be doing.  We'd much rather hear "I can't see you tomorrow" than you perpetuating the idea of it, knowing it's not going to come into fruition.  We have lives too!  Capeesh? 

I could include that hands are for loving (not fighting), to pull out chairs, stand up when she leaves/comes back to the table, and to open the car door, but you guys know all of that kindergarten etiquette already.  Right?  And yes, even after the 35th date, you still need and should do all of these things.  ;)

Jan 28, 2011


This is not a want.  It's a NEED.  A need!!!

Boo, the puppy-lion

Update: I am living

I've neglected this little blog for a solid day!  Wah! Thank you guys for taking my quiz.  Most of you took it seriously and I appreciate it; for the two who were mega douchelords, I'm not really surprised.

I've been swamped with work and preparing for class, as well as fitting in some fitness and "me" time.  I've come down with a minor cold or something and I need to get better stat -- cue me jugging gallons of OJ.

I have a lot of ideas I want to post in February and I'm super excited about them!  Of course, I'll be posting my commentary on the results of the survey -- some surprising, some not.  Turns out a lot of you dudes have some emotional turmoil going on that most women overlook.  Good to know.

Thanks again, I'm looking at the numbers and it looks like this month was brought in my largest audience yet!  Wahoo!

-- Kirbie

Jan 26, 2011

SINGLE MEN: Please take this short survey!

Are you single?  Are you a man?  Are you tall?  Do you love this blog? 

 You're just my type! 

Just kidding.  (But really.) No, seriously, all kidding aside, if you're single and a man, do me a solid and please take this short little survey.  My definition of single (for all intents and purposes of this survey) is not married.  Therefore, you can be in a relationship but I need you to not have committed yourself to holy matrimony. 

If loving this blog to it's sad, little death isn't enough of an incentive, there are some half-naked chicks in the survey (for your viewing pleasure). 

Kings of...?

Today, I was rather disappointed to read the comments that Kings of Leon singer Nathan Followill made to Glee creator Ryan Murphy on Twitter.  I love KOL.  I love Glee.  I don't really care that they haven't used a KOL song on the show, or that the guys were "done promoting that album" and didn't sell it to Glee to use.  Frankly, I can't really see any Kings song being that huge of a smash on Glee. 

However, this comment from Nathan really ticks me off. 

"Dear Ryan Murphy, let it go. See a therapist, get a manicure, buy a new bra. Zip your lip and focus on educating 7yr olds how to say f*ck."

First off, he sounds like a raging homophobe, contrary to his comments that he is not.  Second, as someone who represents the band, he seems completely ungrateful.  Shouldn't you be thrilled that Glee even asked to use one of your songs?  That you're even recognized by mainstream pop culture?  Isn't that the dream of all musicians?  To have their music heard and appreciated?!

After the bird poop incident of July 2010, they came out with this comment that was totally unnecessary

"You (the fans) may enjoy being shit on, but we don't."  Um, yeah, because all people except the mighty Kings of Leon appreciate birds taking a crap on them. 

They made it a huge uproar that they walked off the stage after three songs, when, from what I gather, the fans understood what was going on: the band was getting crapped on and so were the fans.  Frankly, it was probably a relief for everyone.

PSA: get over yourselves.  I remember first listening to KOL in early '08, before Use Somebody became a smash hit a year later.  I enjoyed their music.  I also heard the story behind their name and appreciated it: three of the members are brothers, their dad being Leon, a preacher from the south.  They talk about endless religious references and experiences, even singing a gospel song before shows called "A Little Talk with Jesus." I had heard how cool they were, being OU fans and going to tailgates, games and whatnot.  Meanwhile, they've seemingly let Victoria's Secret models, tight jeans and the rock 'n' roll lifestyle get in their heads.  (I take the VS comment back.  I don't know a lot about Caleb.  It's mostly Nathan who's yapping his trap and making an anus of himself).  At this rate, I wouldn't be proud associating them with anything I supported.

I'm not here to judge and to make comments about people and 'who they claim to be.'  That isn't what I'm trying to do.   But what peeves me the most is that they're blatantly putting a Christian connotation to their music, naming albums after church conferences and whatnot, and then acting ungrateful for all they've been blessed with.  Sure, they curse like sailors, but whatever.  It just seems like every time Kings of Leon is in the tabloids, it's because they're cursing someone out of pissing someone off.

Jan 25, 2011

"She's leaking."

I know I'm nowhere near having children.  Or wanting children, for that matter.  I still get a little anxious when I hear babies wailing, but I think my maternal instincts have kicked up a notch:  I can cook, I care about my car, I'm excited about things like my crocpot.  You know, the usual.

Last year, I was thinking that I would be totally fine as a single mother  (don't bother telling me it's weird to think about this or ask why I remember this thought from last year.  I'm aware and I don't know how I remember this stuff).  I mean, it's not like I could ever be 16 and Pregnant or a Teen Mom.  And thank the good lord -- those shows give me anxiety that's on another level. 

It's not like high school.  If I was having a kid in high school, my life would be ruined.  If I had a kid in college, my life wouldn't be ruined, but my dreams would be.  And if I had a kid now... yeah, my dreams would still be ruined (for the time being at least).  But I'd be able to make it through.  I'm an adult.  I know people who are maturely making the decision to have children on their own free will.  It wouldn't be the end of the world.

Except it TOTALLY would.  I was listening to my chum Ryan Seacrest (he's going to employ me someday, he just doesn't know it yet) and he was talking to Kim and Kourtney last week to publicize his production company's show, Kourtney and Kim Take New York.  First off, snoozefest.  I love Kim, but now that Scott has (allegedly) reformed himself and Khloe isn't there to instigate him, it's rather boring.  Besides the point.  ANYWAY, they were talking about how Kim is all peeved at Kourt and Khloe because they latter two are discussing having children at the same time so they can grow up together.  Obviously this is an issue to Kim because a) she's not married b) she doesn't have an illegitimate child (yet) and c) she's not married. 

Then Ryan asks Ellen (his co-host) if women frequently plan to have babies at the same time as their friends.  Apparently to her, yes, yes they do.  Women formulate when to get prego with their friends so they can go to Mommy Yoga and to classes about lactating together.

Okay, so let me explain the horror I had to listen to on this ride to work.  Ellen says she thinks Kourtney is having problems with lactation.  Ryan is confused.  So she goes in depth, saying she doesn't think that Kourt is having trouble lactating, but that she's having trouble lactating too much. 

Similiar to a Justin Bieber song, I couldn't stop listening.  I should have stopped, but I kept on going.

She said that women's bodies are trained to lactate when they hear their baby cry, and sometimes this means at the grocery store or at bible study or while you're trying on new clothes since all of yours don't fit, and sometimes it's NOT EVEN YOUR BABY that's crying!!!!! And, apparently, this isn't news at all, and I had no idea.

Um, I'm sorry?  I have enough problems in the day just walking correctly without tripping.  You're telling me when I have a kid, that not only will I be sleep deprived, in-between sizes, wearing maternity clothes that don't fit but cover up what I haven't lost yet, getting barfed on, and listening to Baby Mozart that I'm going to also be a leaking woman, without any control? 


Perhaps when I get that full-blown 'maternal instinct'  it'll be hilarious, not awkward or disgusting... but just thinking about the humiliation of walking around and hearing a rando baby cry and then lactating like an exploding water balloon makes me nauseous.

Here's to hoping my husband has a fantastic sense of humor.

Super Bowl festivities, Dallas, February 2nd - 5th

If you're in the Dallas area or are planning a trip for the most boring game to date big game, you'll be looking for things to do.  If you live in D-Town, you might want to stay at home all week to avoid the massive amounts of traffic and tourists that are sure to take over.  However, if you feel comfortable enough to brave the crowds, here are some parties open to the public. 

You might be better off throwing a party yourself of hitting a local sportsbar.  (NOTE: there are several celebrity only/VIP parties going on in the area, but I'm not able to give those names or locations out.  Here's to hoping you find some!):

UPDATE:  Most of these parties are  going to be huge clubs filled with normal joes and will attract an audience based on one celebrity, so tickets are going to be expensive.

Wednesday, February 2nd
8:00 pm

Thursday, February 3rd
8:00 pm - 3:00 am 
6:00 pm - 9:30 pm
  New Balance Private Party in Fort Worth (Invite only)
8:00 pm - 2:00 am

Friday, February 4th
Coors Light Super Bowl Party at Bill Bob's with Blake Shelton
theEvent with special performances by Prince and Erykah Badu
8:00 pm
9:00 pm
9:00 pm - 3:00 am
9:00 pm
GQ Super Bowl Party at Land Co/7 Senses  (Invite only)
10:00 pm

Saturday, Febrary 5th
12:00 pm - 5:00 pm
6:00 pm - 2:00 am
9:00 pm - 3:00 am
9:00 pm - 3:00 am 
9:00 pm
 GQ Super Bowl Party at Land Co/7 Senses (Invite only)

Jan 24, 2011

Bachelor Week 4 Recap

Unfortunately, this recap is unfit considering I fell asleep for part of the show and overpowered any sound from the TV by blasting Justin Bieber's "Never Say Never."

Brad kissed Britt, Ashley H. saw it and got pissed, had a mental meltdown and now thinks all is ruined with Brad.  Michelle went on a solo date with BW where they repelled down a building.  Chantal O. faced her fear of the ocean and got to walk on the bottom of the sea with him.  Insert simile quote here: "Falling in love is a lot like facing my fear of the ocean.  If you let yourself, you can open up the door to a whole new world."

Honestly, I thought they were going to start playing "A Whole New World" from Aladdin.  ABC is owned by Disney...

Now I'm sitting here watching the rose ceremony.  Emily, Michelle and Britt got a rose on their solo dates.  I have no idea who four of these girls are.  Ashley H. looks like she just committed murder and is getting her sentence from the judge, except really she just got a rose.

Brad went ahead and eliminated three of the not-so-attractive chicks, aka three girls I thought were extras.

We're down to the meat: most women who are left are key players.  This is when the real crazy antics start. If you guys haven't figured out who wins yet... you've gotta be blind.  But I won't ruin it for you :)

Apparently Michelle gave herself a black eye.  I don't really get what happened, but I think that one chick who nobody knows said it best when she said "Michelle will do anything for attention."  I REALLY cannot figure this girl out.  Is she acting?  Is she not?  She was a huge priss on the date and it was more of her trying to sell herself than her and Brad hitting it off.  "I am so down for stuff like this, I could sit in the back yard and talk about myself talk to you all night."  Uh, so could thousands of other people, Michelle...

OH HELL.  They're headed to Vegas next week!!!!!  This is going to be superb.  First off, I have never been to Vegas with a loved one.  I always used to hound my ex about going together and he always said Vegas was for friends, and now I'm starting to think that was a smart decision.  I wouldn't say Vegas was exactly conducive to relationships.

SO, let's pair (even more) copious amounts of alcohol with a group of women all pining over the same man.  It's just too easy at this point.

What I'm looking forward to:  they're going to a race track next week, which is going to be terrible because Emily's late fiance was a race car driver.  So great job, Bachelor producers, for being real a-holes and subjecting her to that kind of terror all over again.  I'm sure she'll handle it with grace like she always does.

And that's a wrap.

Things that happened this weekend that I liked

I finally feel like LA is my home.  This is typical, considering it usually takes me a year and a half to accept a major change.  When I moved to Fort Worth for college, I wasn't living in the present.  I had a boyfriend that went to a University six hours away, so a majority of the time I was on the phone with him or flying out to see him.  Or I was going back to Austin, a place I desperately missed.  However, once I started to meet new people and branch out, I found Fort Worth was truly amazing and wish I would have recognized that sooner!  I made some true friends there, and every time I think of a place I'm comforted by, I think of Fort Weezy, specifically when I'm grocery shopping.  How I wish the Tom Thumb on Hulen was still down the street from me!  Or that Central Market was just a 15 minute drive away!  Please friends, if you have a Central Market (or an HEB for that matter) in your area, UTILIZE THEM!  You'll never know what you had until it's gone...  

Well, same goes for now.  I feel like I'm finally living presently in Los Angeles, while before I was constantly thinking about my next trip back home to Texas.  Sure, there are the obnoxious LA types, but most of us are transplants, without agendas, who are genuinely nice people. 

A part of this new-found comfort has come from my friends.  Ironically, they're all people I know from Texas!  It's such a huge Texas network out here and it's kind of bizarre how some of the friends I have made are connected to my friends back home.  We've all been spending a lot of time getting rowdy or just hanging out -- this weekend was spent partaking in dinner at The Grove and then going to see No Strings Attached; Saturday I went to The Den for some dancing, and Sunday we grilled out over at Taryn's. 

Speaking of No Strings Attached, I had rather low expectations for the movie, admitting to my friends I was embarrassed to ask if they wanted to see it with me.  Turns out we all had the same feelings.  I mean, how can an Ashton Kutcher movie be that great?  Well, let me just tell you: it's not a typical chick flick.  The lead female (Natalie Portman) is actually anti-romance and anti-relationship, and Ashton's character is the one who is going through all the emotions. 

The ending, which I thought would be cheesy as all get out, actually WASN'T!!! It grabbed my cold heart (not really) and made it beat again.  So that was thrilling. 

So, the question of the night: can sex friends stay best friends?  Everyone knows this answer: NO.  Why?  Because one of the people in the relationship ends up taking things more seriously than the other.  I mean, most serious couples are the ones having sex, so of course you're going to put those feelings along with the act.  It's only natural!  Especially with a 'friend.'  Don't hook up with your friends unless you want some serious emotions to join you.

MENtervention Mondays

I've decided to start a new tradition on here.  In an effort to find some consistency, I decided to make the beginning of the week MENtervention Mondays.  Why Mondays, you ask?  To be honest, it's because the weekend encounters will be fresh on my mind.  That way maybe everyone can take a little something away from the post and utilize it the next weekend.

While I tend to post about what you guys need to change about yourselves, this MENter is meant to eradicate some people from your life.

That person being the jealous girlfriend.

Let me break down the jealous girlfriend.

Half the time, she isn't really even a girlfriend.  She's a girl, she's a friend, but she isn't official/committed to you.  She hangs out with "the guys" and you don't mind, but she gets uber territorial when a new, real girlfriend is introduced into the group (or perhaps you're introducing her to your new girlfriend).

Token phrases: "I don't like hanging out with girls.  I only have guy friends.  Girls are intimidated by me."
Translation: "Girls don't like me.  I only have guy friends because I feel inferior to most other women.  I'm intimidated by them."


If you ever hear from a girl that she doesn't have many (or any) girl friends because she "doesn't like women," the best way to put it is that you're Houston, and you're going to have a big, fat problem.  First off, if she doesn't have girl friends, she's going to cling to you, ridding herself (and you) of any independence you might have had.  She wants to hang out with the guys, which makes it awkward when you want to hang out with them... alone.

Most girls who have this lifestyle do not have have people who are intimidated by them.  In fact, it's the opposite.  She is envious, intimidated, assumably insecure, and she's more than likely going to be jealous as all Hell.  She won't like your female coworkers because even though you might not find them attractive, they get to work with you eight hours a day (or more) and she doesn't.  God help the girl if you have any attractive, platonic female friends, because she'll have a nervous breakdown. 

Girls need friends who are women.  There's just too much lady-stuff we need to discuss that men won't give us the benefit of discussing.  And if we did talk to them about it, they wouldn't care or comfort us as necessary.  So just realize if she's not hanging with the ladies, she's going to be piling a lot of those venting sessions on you.  She doesn't need to be popular, but she needs at least two or three decent females to chat with.

She's a jealous girlfriend when/if she:
  • Gets sick when it's time to go out in a group setting with other women
  • Fusses, complains and creates issues before these events occur
    • Along those lines, makes you guys intentionally late for events or causes a scene in front of groups of people
  • Pretends she has no idea who other women are, when she's probably Facebook friended those people and has met them -- on more than one occasion
  • Makes back-handed compliments towards other women, criticizes other girls on their weight and looks in front of the guys, talks way too openly about her sex life with men
  • Constantly is in need of reassurance or approval from you -- OR, au contraire, acts like nothing is really ever that important (in an attempt to appear unphased or feeling-less.)
  • She's pretty delusional and dramatic, so don't be surprised if she lies like a plank, fabricates stories to get attention and more than likely has accused you of cheating on her (because, let's face it, she's an insecure nutcase)
  • Your guy friends think she's 'alright' at best, would maybe describe her as 'fun to be around yet a hot mess' or 'she's nice.'  Your girlfriends and sister hate her and have openly discussed her cray-cray behavior with you
  • She has resorted to violence on occasion (sadly, I'm not kiddnig)
Run for the hills, guys. She might be a delight to deal with around your bros, she might know everything about football, she might not care that you threw up on her last Friday night after a few too many shots... but she's going to become your worst nightmare.

Proceed with CAUTION.

Jan 21, 2011

MENtervention: Stop it.


It's Mentervention time.

First, congrats!  Our first session went well.  You all responded in a positive manner, and so did your girlfriends.  Good job on opening up and learning to put forth that extra effort!

However, today's session is all about toning it down a bit.  Because, you know, you're starting to freak us out now. 

Get the hint.  You're being a creep.

Things I'm not referring to: peeping toms, watching pornography, engaging in sexual harrassment at the workplace.  No, no, no.  What I'm talking about is a different type of creepy.  Sometimes, you can get overly excited or too persistent and it creeps us out.

Examples: Did you go on a date with a girl?  Did you have a decent time?  Did she not try to touch you in any way possible (not even a handshake)?  Chances are she wasn't feeling it.  If you ask her out for a second date and she makes up an excuse not to hang out, get the hint.  If she told you, politely, she didn't want to date you, that isn't a hint.  That a full-blown answer.  Take it.  It might hurt, but you just need to let it go.

Being overzealous is embarrassing.  Because that means you're totally digging it and she isn't.  If she was digging it too, you wouldn't be the overzealous one.  Get it?  So calm the heck down.

Let me give you some pointers:

Sending flowers (or anything for that matter) to work is great.  We love that.  Except when it's from a guy we're not interested in.  Going on one date doesn't commit you to another date, and making gestures like that in public is going to weird us out if we're not into you.

Learn how to read women.  Is she looking you in the eyes when you talk?  Is she standly closely to you?  Has she hinted at your past relationships (aka she's curious about your love life)?   Is she willing to drop plans or make the extra effort to see you?  She's probably interested.  Does she not answer your phone call or return it?  Does she only talk to you when she's drunk?  Does she keep talking about her ex-boyfriend?  Inserts the word 'buddy' every few sentences?  Does she find a way to drop your hand when you grasp hers?  These are all things to consider when deciding to try to move things forward.

Say she's been forward enough to cut things off, but you have mutual friends.  If you see her, be cordial.  Don't try to jump on the dating train again because not only will she reject you, but she'll be annoyed. Sometimes, my friend, persistence does not pay off.  

Women like men who have composure, but they also like romance, so it can be tricky coordinating the two.  I wish there was an easy way to make you guys understand the difference (and some of you have it down pat), but everything is a two way street.  I could say "If she's being a raging biotch to you, she isn't into you," except some girls think of endless teasing and giving the cold shoulder as flirtation.  I could say if she hugs you 'bye' and gives you a kiss on the cheek, then she wants to see you again, but sometimes that could be her way of being polite (and saving herself from a peck on the lips).  So you see, it's a little difficult to give any clear instruction as to how we work.  But, I know for sure that sometimes you anticipate a little too much out of a situation.  Why?  I can't be sure.  Perhaps you're feening for companionship and you'll do anything to get it.  But just know that when things are right, you'll know it in your heart.  It will be crystal clear (Note: not Cristal clear).  And I'm not talking about marriage, I'm talking about when you know your feelings are right. 

It's like at the bars.  Am I talking to you because I find you interesting (and attractive)?  Or because you're going to buy me a drink and I feel obligated to?  Who knows.  Yet that always leads to you (men in general) thinking something is going to be institgated between the two of us, and it's most definitely not.

 Take it down a notch.  Not every girl is going to fall madly in love with you.

Until next time...

Jan 20, 2011

Patting myself on the back

Like my new banner?!  This might be grade school crap to some people, but today I practiced my signature, scanned it in and edited it in Photoshop!  That's right, the "Kirbie" is my actual sig!  I'm pretty amazed that you can do this kind of thing on a computer.  Blowing. My. Mind.

Here's the original sheet:

Then I cropped my favorite:

Used the Magic Wand to select my name, inverse the selection and clear the background; then inverse selected again and used the paintbrush tool to change the color.

Voila!  Then I made a new document, created a new layer and gave it a stroke layer style of 1 pixel.  I obviously rotated it for the banner.

Anyway... I'm pretty jazzed about it so I had to share with someone.  Someone being the internets!

Bad to the Bone... sorta

I try to keep profanity to a min on this blog (and life in general), but last night I witnessed a full-on bitch fight.

These girls put cats to shame.

I was shaken by this ordeal because a) I had never witnessed a before and b) one of the girls involved had terrible eyelashes on.  I mean, they were heinous.  (I'd get on her case about her terrible Lady Gaga wig, but now I'm starting to think she had Alopecia and I'd be a may-jah a-hole if I started ragging on someone for that.)

After it happened, some chick was bleeding because her earring had gotten ripped out.  There was broken jewelry all over the floor.  It was truly terrifying to experience.  I felt like Maury Povich was somewhere holding a paternity test or something.

I was explaining to Rocky that I had never seen a fight before... except that *might* be a lie, because I've gotten into an altercation or two.

No, I haven't thrown any punches.  I haven't hit anyone.  But I got a girl kicked of out school because he was a jealous hoe tramp soul who attempted to make my life a living hell, and frankly was going to get kicked out regardless. There was that 'wedgie incident' on the night of my 23rd birthday.  And there was the "What's your rank!" ordeal that happened on New Years 2010.

Guys, I know it sounds like I am a handful but trust me, I'm a real gem to date.  I just like to pretend I am 6'3'' and 225 pounds of solid muscle when I have a few.  My bark is way worse than my bite.

This is why (clearly) I need to date a much larger man who can look at me like I'm nuts and laugh off the whole thing later.  I mean, I'm not ghetto.  I'm not going to cut anyone.  I'm not going to punch anyone in the face.  But if you get up on me and try to start something?  I will give you a fierce wedgie.

I can't stop thinking about that New Years and how I did everyone a solid by grabbing a bottle of vodka from the bar since was open and it took around 45 minutes to get a single drink.  I even went back for mixers.  THAT IS CALLED DEDICATION.  I wanted everyone to have a great night and we all certainly did.  As people were starting to leave, and being the (idiot, nimrod) that I am, I got a water bottle and started swirling it around me like it aint no thang.  This caused some douche man from Ole Miss to come up to me (fratted out) and tell me to knock it off because I was getting water on him.  Oh, I'm sorry?  Didn't realize it would cause your make-up to run.  And it wasn't like I was intentionally trying to attack you, I was doing it with my friends.   Anyway, this apparently got me all hot and bothered because I started harassing him about his rank.  As in, his school's rank.  And how they were in the Cotton Bowl and sucked and how TCU was #4 and we were awesome.  Because I apparently I need to size everyone up by their NCAA rank. Good lord.

I'll never get a date again if I keep giving away all my flaws right off the bat.   You can't say I don't bring the entertainment!

Gym bag essentials: what's in yours?

With my new motivation to hit up The Bar Method and the gym after for cardio, I've found myself trying to pack the perfect gym bag. It's always a drive somewhere here in LA, so I'm trying to keep myself together without losing my head.

I'm happy to report that my gym bag is nearly perfect now! And why would I not share with you how to keep your life less chaotic?

So, first off, what bag should you choose?

It's kind of pricey, but that's because it's high-quality. lululemon athletica's Everywear Gym Bag is large enough to fit shoes and garments. It holds up to 50 pounds if needed, contains a wet/dry pouch (for clothes or for water) and has plenty of pockets and zippers -- even one for your laptop! Tres convenient. $88.00

Nalgene 'OTF' Water Bottle, $12.99
Leak-proof, fits in cup holders and bike racks. This one-handed water bottle makes drinking H20 a tad easier, especially when running on the tred.

Clean and Clear Facial Cleansing Wipes, $5.99 at CVS
Ladies, clean your face before you work out. Sweating opens your pores which will clog with oil and makeup. If you're working on a great bod, why create bad skin in the process?

Down and Dirty Hand Sanitizer, $9.95
Every gym is filled with germs of all kinds. Be sure to wipe down your equipment before and after use (be courteous!) and then douse your hands in this natural cleanser, made with distilled alcohol instead of rubbing alcohol. It contains Aloe, Vitamin E and Green Tea to moisturize so it’s non-drying and leaves hands silky.  This product launches in February 2011 and can be bought at PooPourri.com.

Goody 'Ouchless' Hair Ties, $2.99
I color and curl my hair, so I spend a lot of time making sure it doesn't break and stays healthy. The easiest way (besides picking a great shampoo and conditioner) is to wear hair ties that won't snag your locks! My favorites are the Goody 'Ouchless' brand. They're thicker than the average band and don't contain any metal clasps. (I buy mine at Target or Ulta.)

Thorlo JMM Running Socks -- Thick Cushion, $12.99-$13.99
Socks are just as important as the shoes!  At The Bar Method, you don't wear shoes -- just socks.  These guys are ideal for any athlete -- they wick moisture, provide cushioning against blisters, and cushion the toes and the arch for better fit and protection.

Kiehl's Cross Terrain "Dry Run" Foot Cream, $17.50
Since my brother plays baseball, I bought him this cream to help keep his feet feeling good.  I ended up buying some for myself because it really does work!  It uses sweat-absorbing volcanic extracts and Aloe Vera to soothe your feet, keeping them dry and resistant to irritations.

Of course, include your favorite gym attire and then get to work!

Jan 19, 2011

The Bachelor recap: Week 3

I really hate to admit it but I'm all over this season of The Bachelor.  I didn't think it could get any more ridiculous than "On the Wings of Love" with America's favorite jerk, Jake Pavelka, but alas, The Bachelor is back to normal: a Bach we all love, and a bunch of crazy women.

So everyone knows the basics:  Brad is getting through his second bout at romance with his therapist, everyone loves Emily, and Michelle is a nutjob.  Well, we really didn't know about the latter until this week's episode, where Michelle embarrassed herself by talking about how she wished she could drop kick a few of the ladies, would interrupt Brad's private time with other women, and was acting like a clingy basketcase.

Then there were some other things we started to notice:  Madison, the beautiful yet questionably sane model (with the fangs) is in fact the sanest one of all -- and we like her.  Like, she's pretty cool and seems to have decent intentions. 

Britt is 90's Barbie.  She needs to get pulled out of this funk immediately, starting with her name: for the love, if it's not your God-given name, just upgrade to Brittney or Brittany or SOMETHING.  During rose ceremonies, she dresses like it's tacky prom. Somebody save her.  I also have learned that she was Miss Stanford 2008.  You can find bikini shots if you search for them.

Brad takes Ashley S. on a solo date to Capitol Records, where they record "Kiss from a Rose" by Seal.  NOTE:  "Kiss from a Rose" might just be the most wonderfully-addictive song on the planet.  I can't stop singing it.  It's repeat number on my iTunes?  150.  That's a lot, considering the song is almost four minutes long and I downloaded it on Monday.  Ba da da da da da da, ba da da da.  I've been kissed by a rose on the grave, iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii've been kissed by a rose on the grave.  (If I should fall) kissed by a rose on the grave.  iiiiiiiii've been kissed by a rose on the grave!   ANOTHER NOTE:  Baaayyyybayyyy you're like a growing addiction that I cannot deny. 

Okay, I'm done.  

THE LAST NOTE:  When asked about this song, I told everyone (as the pop culture connoisseur I deemed myself as) that it was written for the Batman Forever movie.  Turns out I was wrong, which really tore me up considering I thought whole-heartedly that I was correct.  Apparently, Seal wrote it when he was homeless.  I had no idea.  However, it attributed to making Batman Forever a huge smash, so I'll give myself that.  On another note (why stop now?), talk about a comeback story: you're homeless, then you get yourself an awesome career and marry Heidi Klum.

Back to the show: Ashley freaks out because she is a horrible singer and is scared to sing on the date, but ends up feeling comfortable when she realizes this is the song Brad picked because she would sing it with her Dad as a kid, and her Dad passed away two years ago from an aneurysm.  (She shares this with Brad on the first date.)  And then Seal pops out of nowhere to sing the song, and Brad and Ashley end up making out on the rooftop after eating some Sushi Roku (this wasn't mentioned but you can't ignore those delicious rolls they were eating).  By the way, I hate to be a downer but I'm sure Ashley put something on her application that was like, "My favorite song is 'Kiss from a Rose' by Seal because it was my Dad and I's song."  So Brad didn't pick it, the producers did.  Go figure.  NO WONDER people feel like they're in love on this show!  I'd be totally DTMO (down to make out) if some guy got Seal to sing us KFAR.  Sheesh.  Ashley gets a rose on the date.

Then there is Emily.  She is literally a God-send.  She's so cute, beautiful and has a truly heartbreaking story.  For all of you who don't know, her fiance Ricky died in a plane crash on the way to his race (he was in racing).  Emily didn't go with him because she felt ill.  She said that, at that point, she wished with all of her might that she was on that plane.  It turns out that the Friday after his passing, she realized she didn't have an illness, she had morning sickness.  She was 18 and pregnant with Ricky's child.  So needless to say tears are flowing at a massive rate at this point.  I can't imagine how terrified yet overjoyed she was to get that type of news, especially after going through all of that at a young age.  Emily tells Brad this story and he handles it with such grace and poise that it's hard not to just adore him.  Madison, having been told this story previously, get emotional and comes to realize that some of these girls need to fall in love, while she just wants to fall in love.

There's a group date, which actually looks like a field trip, and it's hilarious.  Brad gets to show off his abs, Shawntel O. (the funeral director) gets frisky and makes out with him, and Michelle wants to murder her.  But really, who doesn't Michelle want to murder?  All is fair in love and reality television, I suppose.

All of us watching had the same opinion: Michelle is crazy, but we're pretty sure she's a fraud.  There is NO WAY a mother can be that mentally uncapable of carrying on a decent 'relationship' with a guy.  It was so uncomfortable watching her creep on other people's alone time and act like her and Brad were in a three year relationship when they'd only known each other around 10 days time. 

Then I got to researching and found this:

Michelle's career includes this movie, Midway to Heaven, due out in February; a few commercials and a Backstreet Boys video (I don't know which one and I don't care to watch them all). 

So, let me get this straight: she has a movie coming out, she's acting like the 'cray-cray' one on The Bachelor, and it just so happens that (spoiler alert!) she goes on a date next month with Brad and two other Bachelorettes to pose for a photoshoot for Sports Illustrated's February 15th issue, which we can all assume will be the swimsuit issue (via Reality Steve).  Sounds like this girl has a pretty clever publicist and ABC has no qualms about throwing in a few aspiring starlets to make things interesting.

Along the lines of Michelle, she gets the first rose during the ceremony, which really cracked my sh*t up because, hello, SHE'S CRAZY (aka acting like she is).  Affirmative to the book "Men Love Bitches." 

Madison leaves the show because she feels like people like Emily deserve to be there more than she does, and that she doesn't want to take a spot of someone who is desperately seeking love, when she's pretty much there to nom on the free food and have girl talk.  She leaves and we're all sad because we liked her.

They kept featuring this one girl during the rose ceremony that we kept joking was the extra.  "Where did this extra come from?  Was she in craft services the entire show?!  WHO IS SHE?"  They keep panning to this unknown person until she finally receives a rose.  She must of made a *huge* impression on Brad.  Actually, she was probably going home until Madison left.

Here are all the fine ladies Brad managed to make out with on Episode 3:

Damn, Brad.  You don't waste any time.

Tune in next week when Ashley H. loses her marbles!  Until then...

Things I'm rather thrilled about right now

Well guys, Coachella's line-up was just announced and needless to say I'm pretty friggen excited. I think one of my favorite things about LA is that we always have something fantastic going on with music and sports!  So friends, if you'd like to join in on the fun, I have a place for you to shack right here in beautiful, sunny California!

Indio, CA -- the hipster's dream land -- fills up with mobs of American Apparel, fedora-sporting, Jesus sandal-wearing humans who are all geared up to watch some of their favorites take the stage.  They don't allow drugs or "drug paraphenalia" but I guarantee everyone there is high or thinking about it.  Last year's big name was Jay-Z (and his boo Beyonce); this year doesn't disappoint either -- Kings of Leon, Arcade Fire and Kanye West all headline!  I love The Strokes, Robyn, Brandon Flowers and Mumford and Sons, so needless to say I need to get to this festival STAT.  Tickets are $269 plus additional service charges, with layaway options available. 

Also, last year they had the option to volunteer -- you paid the amount of the ticket and then it was refunded after you worked an eight-hour shift.  So you "work" eight hours (aka listen to music all day) and then get a free three-day pass?  Sign me up! 

Just say the words "Carrie Underwood" and you'll have me in a tizzy.  I'm pretty stoked about Stagecoach this year, Indio's country version of Coachella.  Headliners include Kenny Chesney, Rascal Flatts and (my girl) Carrie.  Looks like I'll be putting in a phone call to a certain uncle who I am fully aware knows Kenny Chesney... (make it happen!!!!)

"I'm Not Having a Wedding!"  Shower, sometime in February
I'm in party-planner mode yet again and I want to have a soiree to celebrate good friends.  I think a lot of us women feel down when we don't get flowers or have a date on Valentine's, because it reminds us we don't have anyone.  (Myself excluded, because my parents always send me a bouquet of flowers and Dad has been known to send me chocolate covered strawberries.  This has caused a dramatic raise in my standards.)While I was going to make this a women-only event, I figure why not invite some of my single guy friends?  I could play matchmaker!  I'm the new Patti Stanger.  And no worries, you're invited even if you do have a significant other.

Grammy Awards, February 13th
Well, one of my goals this year was to attend an award show, and it just might happen!  I'm working the red carpet that day, so hopefully things will fall in my favor.  This year's performers are Arcade Fire, Eminem, Cee Lo Green, Lady Gaga, Miranda Lambert and Katy Perry.  I think I had a mild heart attack typing all those names.  I mean, everyone knows my favorite karaoke song is Forgot About Dre, favorite song to hear at the club is F--- You, I donated my dignity and pride to dress up as Lady Gaga for Halloween two years ago, I'm a country girl at heart and would marry Katy Perry if she'd let me.  Needless to say... I need God to make this magic happen. 

NBA All-Star weekend, February 18th-21st
I love All-Star weekends of any kind because they really are a blast.  There's always something to attend, see and experience.  This year they are bringing the best in the game to Los Angeles.  I love making an excuse to go to Staples, so this should be a fun weekend.

Lots of fun coming up in the next few months!

Jan 18, 2011

MENtervention: Just go for it


You're due for a Mentervention. 

Today's session: What's more annoying that an overly persistent guy (which I'll get to sometime this week)? 

The guy that doesn't make any effort at all.

I'm not talking about sloppy clothes, failing to iron your jeans before a date or making your bed, or forgetting our annivesary (although those things are pretty shiesty).  I'm talking about those mind games, that frankly, most of you guys play with yourself.  You feel like you have to calculate every move and come off a certain way to us.  I'm not saying women don't do this as well, but you guys take it to a new level, and sometimes you will end up crashing and burning instead of passing the finish line.

Playing hard to get is ridiculous because most of us girls will think one of these things:  a) you're not interested because you aren't reaching out, b) you're arrogant and c) you're timid, which isn't attractive to anyone, OR d) he's not paying attention to me and I want him to, so I'm going to make him and then be the one to reject him. (That's never someone you want to be with.)  So besides those of us that get some sick and twisted pleasure out of men who ignore us, women want men to be open but not forward, excited but not clingy, and confident but humble.  See the difference?

Let me give you some pointers:

Say you're considering taking a girl on a date.  Or maybe you just like a chick and want to hang out in a group together before deciding to take her out.  Be a man and call her.  Don't e-mail, text, or Facebook chat.  Grow some balls and give her a phone call.  It makes things more personal and she'll feel like you're taking charge, which even the most independent of women enjoy. 

Don't ask.  Don't ask if you can call a girl, just go for it!  What's the worst that can happen?  She won't answer?  She'll have to call you back?  Or she'll chat with you and you'll have a great conversation.  If she was kind enough to give you her number, use it. 

Make a girl feel like you actually want to see her.  Plan out the date -- when you ask us 1,000 questions about what we want to do, it makes us feel like you don't know how to take the reigns.  One thing you guys need to learn is that we may be maternal, independent and careful; that we may take the time to make sure everyone else is taken care of, but the fact of the matter is that we need someone who will let us be those things but will also be those things for us.  So if on the first date you can't manage to pick a decent restaurant and decide on what to do after, it's not giving us a sign that you are making the effort.

Along the lines of making her feel important, do something to show some enthusiasm.  I feel like a mid-day or early morning text or e-mail (after you've initiated the phone connection) is a great way to start off a date, before you're even on it.  If you're anxious to see her, send her a "I'm really looking forward to tonight" text.  That should get her excited too (if she isn't already).  And remember, sometimes dates are just that: dates.  No fireworks, nothing magical happens.  It's just dinner and that's fine.  You may or may not get a peck on the lips in the end.  But if you're really feeling a connection with a girl, be sure to pull out all the stops -- it doesn't have to be crazy, it just has to put forth some effort.

Until next time...
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