Jan 3, 2011

The Bachelor Season Premiere: Commentary from Moi

Soooo tonight is the night women across the nation were waiting for:  The Bachelor premiered with the man we all love to hate, Brad Womack.

Well, I don't love to hate him.  In fact, I don't understand why everyone is in an uproar.  For you men who don't watch The Bach (or pretend you don't), Brad broke hearts everywhere when he didn't just turn down one woman -- he turned down both of the finalists, walking away without a fiance.

Here's the thing.  I wouldn't pick anyone either if I wasn't feeling it!  I mean, do you guys know what happens on these shows?  Let me break it down for you: after cattle calls and the elimination process, they narrow it down to the finalists.  From there they are asked to rank the men they'd like to be The Bach, but they don't ever really know who is going to be it -- they can speculate, but they don't get any confirmations until they step out of the limo.

Then, once settled in the house, it's time to force feed them alcohol.  Those ladies (and gents on The Bachlorette) are on a 24-hour champagne (wine, liquor, beer) diet for the full two months.  Why?  Guys get out of control and girls get overly emotional, which obviously equals reality TV gold.  Yes, they only know each other for two months before he's (supposedly) down on bended knee.  I know when it's love, it's love,  but let's be reminded that this "love" has been mixed with copious amounts of alcohol AND the dude's been muggin' on multiple other women!  At least four of them in a very serious capacity!

My beef with The Bachelor is that the guy gets to have his cake and eat it to: getting the emotional rush of having a serious relationship and finding love, but not having to be monogamous.  I don't get how one can have intense feelings for more than one person.  And we all know that when a guy is faced with temptation, he's going to cave.  For those overnight dates, he's definitely sleeping with all of those women before sending a few packing.  That's why I felt crappy for sweet Tenley on Jake's season.  It wasn't said, but the big fat elephant in the room was that the girl had a) saved herself for marriage, b) got married but her husband cheated on her, and c) chose to sleep with Jake on the overnight when everyone knows he's a jerk off.  And what did he do?  Sent her packing.

I think that if I were a contestant on the show, I'd be like, "Hey sweetie, I'll go on this overnight with you, because it's all romantical and if I'm still here I probably like you a lot at this point, but my definition of 'overnight' means spooning and eating ice cream in bed." Especially a month and a half in.   If he declined, I'd voluntarily leave; if he obliged but sent me home at the next rose ceremony, then it wasn't any skin off my back.  I didn't hop in the sack just to get some guy to give me a rose.

So, while I get that it was heinous that Brad didn't pick either of the final two, lead them on, yadda yadda (I'm sure he definitely slept with both of them), why pick someone when your heart's not there?

Now we're dealing with the excessive discussion that is "Brad went to therapy."  Guys.  Really?  I don't think "The Incident" was deserving of therapy.  Maybe the whole Dad abandonment issues got worked out, but now he's telling all these women he went to therapy to get his commitment issues worked out and now he's going to find a wife on this show.  Uh...

Then again, maybe all men need therapy.  Ladies, if your man won't commit, send him to therapy -- he'll give you a ring!  He won't stop drinking like a 19-year-old?  Send him to the doc!  Isn't motivated?  Doesn't have ambition?  Needs to lose weight?  Needs a lesson or two with intimacy?  Chews with his mouth open?  Curses like a sailor?  Can't give a decent foot rub?  Won't put down the toilet seat?  Therapy it is!

I don't think therapy is to be taken lightly.  Perhaps Brad did need that, especially after women around the world hated him for what he did on his first season.  I'm sure that  type of scrutiny would affect anyone.  But it's kind of ridic that they keep talking about how the therapy has made him want to pick a wife... on this show.

Another thing: ladies, you're being matched up against 29 other women.  Don't you think you might want to make your first one-liner something more original than, "I saw your season and I have a lot of doubts!"  or some version of that?  Because let me tell you, men love nothing more than when you bring up their past and their baggage!  Why don't you ask go ahead and ask him about his ex-girlfriends or his  non-existent Father while you're at it?

I already know who wins thanks to my roommate -- the winner went to the same High School as she did --- and Reality Steve's blog.  Apparently this decision is not a shocker because everyone and their Mother knows who won.  I won't ruin it though.

Regarding the girls:

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Love Emily. Everyone keeps talking about her veneers, but I have this weird obsession with smiles and teeth.  A good smile does it for me... and I don't know why but I love the look of big teeth!  Similar to when Hilary Duff got her veneers... I was all about it.  Most people didn't like it, said she looked like she had a big mouth with big teeth but I totally dug it.  So my favorite so far is Emily.

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Michelle:  She's drop dead gorgeous (in my opinion) but I'm a little concerned with her immediate clinging to Brad.  They just met.  Also, based on the previews, it appears she gets rather aggressive.  She'll make things interesting for sure!

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Ashley H.:  Nut job.  Proven by the season preview.  Can't deal with it.

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Shawntel: You'd think she'd be able to blend her makeup better with her skin tone considering she is a Mortician.  I kind of like her though.  I'm intrigued.

The girls that were eliminated are all crying like blubbering idiots.  I want to believe that they're crying because they're embarrassed of being rejected on national TV (that has to be hard), but honestly it's sad because some of these women are crying because they're desperate.  They need someone.  They're not there for love, they're there for attention (then again I don't know if going on The Bachelor to find love is noble either).  It's pretty heartbreaking to see that play out on TV.  One even said, "I took a leap of faith that didn't work out for me, and that pisses me off."  Aren't leaps of faith supposed to be one of those things you do regardless of the outcome?  Just sayin'.

Yet, I have to say that the show might be a great way to open up your options.  If you're the one calling the shots, you get your pick of a diverse group of men or women, something that isn't normal.  Most people have a limited radius when it comes to finding "the one."  It's limited to the town they reside in, as most people aren't traveling to different cities and towns on a weekly basis.  Perhaps this is why eHarmony and Match.com are so successful!  So I have to give credit, it's pretty interesting to think about: would you be with the one you're with if you had more options?  Are you with them because it's convenient?

What do you all think about Brad?  Personally I love him.  He's older now, 38, but then again he was 35 when he had his first go around and he wasn't ready then to give it his all.  Regardless, I think he's a southern gentlemen and a cutie.  I think he genuinely feels bad about leading the girls on and is trying to find something special.  My mom has other views:


Oh, Janet.  She always has such politically correct views on life.

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