Jan 31, 2011

MENtervention Monday: Be polite!

That's that time again...



I feel like this segment should be called "boy-tervention," except that doesn't sound as refined.  But the truth is that when you're a man, you won't have to read this blog and learn from it.  You'll already be doing these things or not doing these things.  You'll be like, "Oh Kirbie, I remember those silly days I  still tried to pick up random hoes at a bar."  And then remember that everything I said about the jealous girlfriend is true (and how you should have dropped her like a bad habit) and how you single-handedly terrified every woman before you finally realized that sending a chick cupcakes on the second date when you haven't even kissed is not approp.

You know what else is not approp?  Well, there's a myriad of things.  But today I'm talking about being polite.

I'm used to it by now.  There are a lot of boistrous men out here who do everything from making cat calls (because that has always impressed a woman) and text inappropriate messages (because they're idiots).  But if you were raised in the midwest or the south, you should know better.  He's a universal rule of thumb when it comes to being polite:

DO NOT curse in front of a girl.  I don't know what's worse: cussing in front of a new date or cussing in front of your significant other.  It's all about the principle of things -- Ladies are delicate.  They're poised.  And even if they aren't, you shouldn't be throwing around profanities in front of them like they're one of the guys.  I'm the first to admit that maybe, perhaps, sometimes (...) I will let out a few profanities.  But I try to keep it to a minimum and generally try to stray away from it in public (and in front of guys).  In the same regard, I'd like a guy I'm interested in to do the same.  As in, don't come up to me at a bar and talk about how "you're a p*ssy" because blah blah blah (yes, someone did say that to me).  It's totally unattractive.  Girls like guys who make them feel secure and protected and who will take a stand when things get out of hand.  They like it when we're put on a pedestal (of sorts).   Would you curse in front of the Queen?  Your mother?  Then don't do it in front of a girl you're trying to date.

Play nice with others.  I can't tell you how disappointing it is when you meet a handsome guy who gets condescending to other guys when they come into the picture.  Granted, it can be kind of sexy when some guy tries to lay his mack down and your boyfriend tells you he wants to break the guy's neck, because, as I have mentioned before, a little bit of jealousy is healthy and hot!  But it's so lame if you're starting to date a girl and you see her talking to a friend (or any guy really) and you decide to make a rude remark about them, what they're wearing, who they work for, and so on.  It shows you're obviously jealous and insecure that we're talking to another dude.   Turn off! Please chill out.  And an easy way to "mark your territory" (if it's yours to be marked) is to go up to her while she's talking to him and wrap your arms around her waist or plant a kiss on her neck or cheek.  Making fun or embarrassing another person only makes you look like an a-hole.  Nobody aspires to date one of those.

Follow through.  You tell a girl you're going to call her.  JUST CALL HER! Don't play games.  Excuses are an easy way to No Man's Land... so be upfront about your intentions.   Girls read into signs.  If you can't keep your word within the few first dates, what makes you think we're going to believe you'll keep your word when it gets more serious?  If you're dating someone OR getting serious, then don't tell a girl you want to hang out when you really don't want to and then make up endless excuses later.  It's not courteous.  Give her respect and let her go about her own business, she'll appreciate that more than feeling stood up.  Women are planners, so they're going to probably clean their place to perfection, get their workout in early and plan their other errands/chores around you guys hanging out.  You might not think so at the time, but it's inconsiderate when you lead them on or aren't up front about what you're doing or what you plan to be doing.  We'd much rather hear "I can't see you tomorrow" than you perpetuating the idea of it, knowing it's not going to come into fruition.  We have lives too!  Capeesh? 

I could include that hands are for loving (not fighting), to pull out chairs, stand up when she leaves/comes back to the table, and to open the car door, but you guys know all of that kindergarten etiquette already.  Right?  And yes, even after the 35th date, you still need and should do all of these things.  ;)

1 comment:

Michael said...

Well said, Kirbie! I wrote a paper in high school entitled Chivalry is Not Dead which I got a 97 on (from a very demanding English teacher mind you). I adhere to everything I wrote in that paper some 23 years ago. Ladies should be treated in a chivalrous manner. I think everyone should re-read Don Qixote. XoXoXo

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