Feb 18, 2011

"So, what do you do?"

It's All Star Weekend in Los Angeles and needless to say it's going to be a cluster of all clusters.  In addition to the money-hungry hoes that usually walk the streets, we'll be getting an influx of sports-oriented breezies who will cling to any and all NBA stars, much like white on rice.  Most of them will be prostitutes.

I'm excited for this weekend and slightly annoyed at the same time.  I mean, I'm a sports gal.  But every time I hit up these parties I feel uncomfortable, mostly because I have a sneaking suspicion that people see the blonde hair and booty and think "GROUPIE!"  No. No. No. No. 

Not to mention, there are going to be heaping spoonfulls of idiotic men who will probably spend three months rent on securing a Bentley for the weekend and will wear fake Jacob the Jeweler watches and use phrases like, "WE GRINDIN'!" and "WE RUN LA!" Which, let's be honest: if you have to tell people either of those things, you're most definitely not and do not run LA in the slightest.  Oh, and you raging douche as well.  And they'll probably use pick-up lines like "I work with ___" and "I produce music videos" and "You have a great look."  Ladies, if you do anything in life, make sure it's not falling for this load of crap. 

That's one thing I hate about LA.  Before I moved here, nobody really gave two craps about what I did.  I was associated by friendships and at some point a new friend or acquaintance would ask "Where did you go to school?" or "What do you do?" But it was out of politeness so small talk could be made -- like, "Oh, you went to TCU!  Do you know ____?"  But then I moved out here and everyone is all about what you do.  "So, what do you do?"  Don't get me wrong, I've gotten some wonderful opportunities by readily telling someone I work in entertainment and what I aspire to do, and then I just so happened to be in the right place at the right time.  But  most of the time, it's really creepy men who are just trying to get you in the sack.  I'm not exaggerating. 

I get it.  LA is a place that is all career-oriented.  No one's like, "I want to move to LA to fall in love!"  They're all like, "I'm moving to LA to pursue my dreams of working in the biz."  So of course they're going to ask you what your job is, because you might just be their golden ticket.

My coworker Marina put it well when I asked her if she was excited about this weekend: "I'm staying in.  I can't deal with traffic on Sunset.  I can't deal with groupies. I can't deal with Fake Ed Hardy and guys who wear sunglasses at night.  Who probably rented a  Bentley but have no money in their wallet.  Can't. Do. It."

I'm hoping to meet some ESPN contacts, enjoy a few parties and steer clear of any and all raging cases of douchery.

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