Feb 8, 2011

The Super... what?

The Super Bowl.

Well, I clearly lost my bet of 24-10 Steelers.  I don't even know why I picked the Steelers.  I don't like them.  I don't like either team.  ACTUALLY, I'm having a pretty hard time getting thrilled about Pro Football in general.  I mean, I gave my allegiance to the San Fran 49ers earlier this season because plenty of my guy friends were like, "It's our year!  We're reinvented!"  But really it was a "reformulating year"  and our coach got the boot.  Which isn't a bad thing at all, considering we just got "young, hot coach" Jim Harbaugh.  I don't think he's that young.  But wow.  What a babe.

Yeahhhh Jimmy
OH MYLANTA.  He's 47!  So wrong.  I apparently have a very sick problem of crushing on older men, namely Steven Tyler and Simon Cowell.  Well let's add Jim to the mix!  He's a fox.

Anyway, what was I talking about?  Oh yeah.  That Super Bowl thing.  Well, I like to bet on games because it makes things interesting.  I cannot wait until March Madness begins because after last year's "Rise and Fall" escapade, I have my ducks in a row (Note: I was literally #1 in the all-guy pool I was in, until I made some rookie decision to discount Duke because 'I didn't like them.'  That was my problem.  I used my smarts and then let my emotions get the best of me.  I digress.).  So, I bet on games and teams to make matters more interesting.  I have no ties to Green Bay or Pittsburgh, but betting gave me a reason to cheer.  Actually, I was claiming to all the world I was supporting Dallas, Texas, because duh, It's Dallas. I love Dallas.  And not to mention it was the mecca of all things sports and entertainment for a solid 72 hours.  I read so many tweets with name drops that I thought for a second we were in an alternate universe -- that I was in Texas and everyone else was in LA.

SO, what were my thoughts?   I couldn't hear any of the commercials so I can't talk about my favorite, except the Eminem car commercial garnered a substantial amount of commotion so I'd probably enjoy that one.  Frankly, the only reason I watching the game in the first place was in hopes that I saw someone I knew and for Glee.

What I did see was the half time show.  Again, I could barely hear it.  However, I know from personal experience that Fergie is terrible live.  Like, real bad.  And I'd use the excuse that the sound in Jerry's World is probably terrible, but it was just bad.

However, girlfriend looks good.  I get it, she's not everyone's cup of tea. She is a living PSA to wear SPF 30.  Everyone can say what they want -- I love me some Fergie Ferg.  Besides the terrible sound quality, the "show" was spectacular and I enjoyed watching it.   Minus Usher dropping in to lip synch.  Everyone was like, "OMG y'all!  It's my boy Usher to save the day!  He can sing!"  Yeah, he can.  But that ghastly performance was his backing track with some minimal "love ya down" spoken in.   I could tell that with minimal volume.

This strengthened my disdain for Urrrsher even more, especially when he dropped out of the ceiling and the giant "USHER" was going crazy on the big screen behind him, similar to Jesus Christ Superstar.  Woof.  You all are already aware of my deep hatred for Usher, mostly because he's cocky as crap, and partly because I was cast as a "Featured Girl" in 'Daddy's Home' and he made us wait 12 hours.  TWELVE.  And then they didn't want to pay us more than necessary so they sent us home.  Therefore I subjected myself to a hoochie mama dress a.k.a. "Video Honey attire" for 12 straight hours with no cell phone or computer (I did eat fabulous food from craft services, however) and had to listen to "Hey hey, hey daddy" 600 times in a row -- and homeboy wasn't even there for most of it.  Talk about miserable.

Highlight of the game:  definitely when Will.I.Am called out Obama during 'Where is the Love.'  I didn't catch it when it happened (that whole hearing thing was an issue), but today at work I was asking about the political statement he made and no one knew what I was talking about.  Sure enough, I walk into Susan's office and she and my coworker Marina are watching the entire show together and discussing that part in particular.  Super.  So we watch it and rewind, and watch it and rewind, and watch it and rewind, and then we're like, "What did he just say?"  (starting at 9:26)

Can anyone decipher what he just said? Bueller?  We couldn't.  I legitimately heard him say, "This is for all the English majors."  I felt idiotic but honestly thought, well, maybe he's trying to eradicate illiteracy? And then Marina is like, "No girl, he's saying 'baby mamas.'"  And Susan cracked us both up by convincing herself he was saying "Immigrators."  I don't know if she meant integrators or immigrants, but we had a pretty fancy time laughing about it.  By the way, he says, "This is for all the innovators."  Hey, Susan was the closest!

Hilarity ensues at 9:51 whilst Fergie gets real aggressive while questioning 'Where is the Love?'  And watching the Peas and all these randoms in unitards do the running man is unintentional comedy.  They're all off. All of them.  I guarantee you they picked up all those dancers on Dallas Craigslist.  "BE FEATURED IN AN INNOVATIVE SUPER BOWL HALF TIME PERFORMANCE WITH THE BLACK EYED PEAS!"  And all these aspiring dancers are thinking "It's my big break!  Yes!"  And then they get to the audition and the event producers are like, "Can you do the running man?  How do feel about wearing large boxes?  Super.  Here's your glow-in-the-dark unitard."

I have to give props to the ones dancing with the box on their head.  How can any of them even see to make those formations on the ground?  Why is that white arrow trying to penetrate the crowd of unitard people (at 3:30)?  Is that symbolism for something?  If so, what?  So many questions.

Anyway, hope everyone enjoyed themselves.  Gotta congratulate the Packers, Mason Crosby from good' ol' Georgetown has won himself an NFL Championship ring.  I'll never say this again but EAGLE PRIDE.  I'll end with my favorite Super Bowl Half Time Show ever.

*NSYNC just sprinted a mile to get to stage and still sounds on point; they are busting out choreographed dance moves while hitting the notes.  Aerosmith is legendary, and it makes me love them even more that they agreed to perform with two acts whose target market was 12-15 year olds.  And while Brit Brit is lip synching, that's her whole schtick, so we can't complain about that.  BEST PERFORMANCE EVER.   I cannot watch this without subconsciously doing every single dance move and even saying little add-ins like "Breakdown!" when they sing 'It's Gonna Be Me.'   Die hard fan right here.  Sadly, I tried finding a pair of women's football pants and a tube sock to cut up a la B. Spears so I could perform this song in my bedroom.  I was 13.   And doomed.

Needless to say I would have lost my 13-year-old shiz had I been at this particular Super Bowl.

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