Mar 16, 2011

Love and marriage go together like a...?

ABC.com
Well, well, well.  This survey was maybe even more fun (and insightful) than the last!  But can I just say that the tone of this one is also more... bitter? Stern?  Aggressive?  While men offered insights and seemed (for the most part) calm, cool and collected, women seem a little bit pissed.

Here's what I can gather:
-  All of us have had a shit-tay ex-boyfriend (or two)
-  We all want to be thinner.  Period.
-  If we're in a relationship, we're not content with our career; if we're climbing up the corporate latter, we're dissatifisfied with our love life (if we're between the ages of 23-37)
- We all want to be in love and find happiness, but we're scared of marriage, and even more scared of ending up alone.

However, let me dig into the real issue here: marriage.  When it came to answering their thoughts on this subject, women pretty much lay it all out:  It's a struggle, and it's forever; it's become more of an institution than a relationship, etc.  People are slowly dissolving the idea of a union because once something gets too hard, they want to throw their hands up.  Most women who wrote about their idea of marriage consistently said it would take work and that they only want it to happen once, but they're scared.

This made me think: much like generations progress and transform, is marriage going extinct? 

I'm a Christian and in the bible it states that divorce shouldn't be an option, with the exception for adultery.  However, I am having a really hard time with that.  Let me explain.  I was raised in a single family unit, however my both of my parents were married before they married each other and to me, they got divorced with good reason, not to mention I would have have the loving and stable family upbringing I did had my mom stayed with my biological father -- to mention, I wouldn't have met my Dad (Randy).  So, I can't sit here and say that if my husband made me scared, physically abused me or my children that I would put up the fight to be with him.  I don't wish upon anyone a divorce, because I think today it's becoming an excuse for people to jump into marriage without thinking of the consequences and focus on having some lavish wedding and making babies. 

It's not to be denied: marriage has been turned into an ideal and is constantly ignored as a relationship.  It's something perpetuated to men and women as the one thing where everything is essentially perfect. You've found 'The One.'  However, it should be reiterated that the term actually means, "The One who you will stand by through thick and thin," not "The One who removes all difficulties and problems."  It's "The One" relationship that you plan on making last forever, because you see the potential in that person to be a good and fair husband/wife/mother/father.  Just like it takes hard work to get a career going and stable, it's the same for a marriage (all coming from someone who is very much not married, to take it with a grain of salt). 

So, is the idea of marriage becoming extinct?  Much like segregation has been eradicated from social standards, women are allowed to vote and are receiving more college degrees than men, and so on, is the concept of marrying one person for the rest of your life something that will be extinct in the next few decades? 

Personally, I don't believe so.  There are a ton of couples living in Delusion Land, but a majority couples, I feel, go into marriage under the impression that it is through thick and thin, bad or good, and so on.  But that was my Carrie Bradshaw moment and felt compelled to ask. :)
Wow.  What a doozy.  If anything, this survey showed me that we as women are all more alike then we think.  We're all going through a little bit of emotional overload at this phase in our life, and we're all concerned about the same things.  I'm going to post some of the more insightful answers (and some of my favorite) to those questions... in the next post!

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