Apr 16, 2011

iWould, wouldU?

This is happening.  

DON'T judge me.  Let me just paint this picture for you:  I'm sitting in my room at 9:33 at night, wearing nothing (read: naked) because it's hotter than three hells in here, and because LA is always allegedly blissfully 70 degrees, we don't have A/C.  Well, real A/C.  We have this puny unit in the living room that is great if you sit right in front of it, but other than that it's pretty crappy.  Don't cry for me, everyone in this town has the same thing.  I'm not in Texas anymore!  I enjoy LA's heat waves, but seriously, have you ever tried to vacuum when your apartment is near 90 degrees?  It's miserable.  

Anyway, I'm sitting here after a) making and eating (a delicious, healthy) dinner at 6:00 pm, taking a minor nap after watching the episode of the Kardashians where Kris and Bruce get in a fight about the garage for the 1000th time.  I woke up and came into my room to write when I turned on my TV and it was on Lifetime.  I can't remember how it got there but the TV movie "Amish Pride" was on and that movie really grips me into submission.  I can't do anything else when it's on.  Those Amish people forgave when they lost their own children!  That is so honorable.  

Then I felt compelled to paint, so I busted out my oils and ruined a canvas after trying to paint a quote and screwing it up royally.  Now I'm watching Erin Brockovich and debating about making a run to Ralph's to pick up some Easter cookie dough.

So yeah, now that I've given you the low-down, I think it would be wise not to judge me and my use of iWould.  

What is iWould?  Well friends, welcome to the newest form of internet matching-making.  Move over, Match.com, eHarmony, even Ashley Madison.  Whether you're just curious, looking for love or looking for an affair, iWould is going to help you out.

Here's the deal: Facebook is going to buy this app, no doubt.  It just needs to catch on with more users.  Facebook has more users than any other platform, ever... why not blow out the internet dating competition too?

So basically you can choose up to 10 people you have a crush on, like, love, whatever.  I could see my 16-year-old self loving this application, praying that my best guy friend would select me too, only to hear about him picking another hoe chick and she likes him too! YES! Yeah, I was that girl for part of high school that had a best guy friend I so desperately wanted to like me.  He did for like, a week, and then broke my heart.   (This sounds eerily like a Taylor Swift song.) 

I digress.  Anyway, pick your 10 (or less), submit, and let the waiting begin.  The list is 100% confidential and your crush/love/mistress/what-have-you will be notified only if they have you on the list too.  

I think this would be an awesome way to see how many people like you.  Just pick a bunch of people you don't like and let the magic happen.  It would get awkward explaining you don't really like them and just wanted to fulfill selfish needs for confidence, but it would be interesting.

This is also ideal for infidelity.  NOT THAT I CONDONE IT.  I don't.  But if you're a douche dude or a woman looking for a little something extra that your sig other can't provide (and by association are greedy and scum), you can choose a few people you might be interested in having an affair with and wait to see what happens.  On second thought, this might be a terrible idea.  Isn't Facebook becoming a rising factor in divorce?  To keep your boy/girlfriend out of the loop, you'd definitely have to limited profile them.  I promise that I am not a undercover cheater... seriously.  

Anyway... boredom prevails and I really want to try this application out, but it just goes against my whole "dating via Facebook" rant I went on a few MENterventions ago.  I think everyone should download the app... I expect matches from at least a few of my girlfriends and gays.  

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