Apr 25, 2011

Jonathan Taylor Thomas: WHERE ART THOU?



This is a national MYSTERY.  Nobody knows where the hell Jonathan Taylor Thomas has gone.

Listen, I feel like JTT owes it to his fans to let us know what he's doing.  Are you alive?  Are you dead?  Not like you can answer, but please, a relative, a neighbor, a personal assistant -- SOMEONE COME FORWARD.  Let your presence be KNOWN.

Facts:

He was born September 8th, 1981.  This will be forever engrained in my mind because I had a birthday party for him some years ago.  Yes.  I celebrated Jonathan Taylor Thomas' birthday without him being there.  We even had a cake with his face on it.  We blew out candles.  We sang him happy birthday.  It was pathetic and adorable all at the same time, and I'm sorry for subjecting my friends and family through it all.  (One thing you can't tell me is that I don't have passion.)

Real name?  Jonathan Taylor Weiss.  For whatever reason, I was not aware of this 'real', so-called last name of his.  Google wasn't prevalent when I was in third grade, so my stalking/"research" abilities were sub-par.  Sorry.

We last saw him on Kingdom Hearts 2006 as the voice of young Simba.   Yes, in addition to being the hottest Taylor kid on Home Improvement, we mustn't forget that JTT brought baby Simba to life.

By the way, can we take a second to recognize this might have been the first celebrity on Earth to make the three-letter abbreviation popular?  I mean, nobody called Rachel Leigh Cook "RLC."  And really, who normally goes by their entire name? The kid started a revolution.  Except not really, because nobody else started going by three letters.  But Devon Sawa could never reach the height of JTT's success!  He's like Prince with his symbol.  His legacy goes untouched.

We do know he left Tool Time Home Improvement to pursue his college career at Columbia,  did that really terrible  Disney movie with Jessica Biel, and a few TV shows and movies after that.  The last thing on his IMDB is that he directed a short called "The Extra."

WHERE ARE YOU JTT?  This is worse than Carmen San Diego.  Worse than BIN LADEN, I would venture to say.  Nobody knows where this kid (grown man) is.  We want our beloved JTT back!

Is it just me, or does he have a Zac Efron thing going on here?  So help me God if Zac goes MIA like this.  I'm going to need a prayer group started in that event.  Upon further investigation, he reminds me of Matthew Perry too -- who plays grown up Zac in 17 Again.  (Pretty much reaffirms my theory that my ideal man is Chandler Bing with more athleticism and 4-5 more inches on him.) 


If you have any leads or information on JTT, please send me an email.  kirbie@mentervention.com.  I'd like to get him on here for a video blog so we can discuss why he felt the need to abandon his loyal fans.

UPDATE:  According to Bec, her friend saw our beloved JTT in SILVERLAKE!!!  A mere mile drive away from my apartment?  Divine intervention, y'all...

2 comments:

Molly Dixon said...

Obsessed. I started a JTT fanclub in my 4th grade class. We would sit around a poster of him on the floor. haha.

Bec said...

Funny this should come up right now! A friend of mine works at a cafe in Silver Lake and apparently he came in in the last month. Don't know the name of the cafe or what he is up to, but never fear! he is still alive and kicking around Los Angeles:-)

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