Apr 27, 2011

Royal wedding: I haven't really cared...

I should start posting more conversations I have with my boss.

Let me paint the picture:  he's 40, he's British and he was in the military for awhile before making his way to Los Angeles to work in entertainment.  He looks exactly like Winnie the Pooh except not a bear (and I say that in the most loving way possible).  He's constantly harassing me about something and we bicker just for bickering's sake, but some of the convos are pretty hilarious.

One of the more interesting parts about him?  He is really excited about the royal wedding.  He won't admit it, but he is.  He's coming in late on Friday so he can stay up and watch the whole ordeal with his Mum.  They're going to drink tea together and watch.  Precious right?

This morning I asked him if he was getting more excited as the days passed.  "I mean, it will be nice," he says, non-chalantly.  "It's a fairy tale type of thing."

This spurred a discussion about why I think it's a crock -- this is not a "fairy tale." If we're getting serious here,  a literal fairy tale requires the heroine to be at a disadvantage in some way: she's poor, she's ugly, she has an evil stepmother, whatever.  Kate Middleton grew up wealthy and is stunningly gorgeous.  It's a story of the rich marrying even richer, and the even richer just so happens to be a Prince.

I get it.  "She's a commoner!  Now she'll be a princess!"  GREAT.  I'm just not really into it.  My boss told me that I've watched 'Pretty Woman' too many times and am just jealous that my life won't end up like that.  The guy won't be as rich or as good looking as William.

Pause: as good looking as William?  Uh... negative ghostwriter.  I prefer the ginger, thanks.  He seems more charasmatic and he's better looking.  He'll never be King, but whatevs.  As far as the "won't be as rich" part, I told my boss that was debateable. :)

NOT THAT MONEY MATTERS people. I'm just saying that I have great expectations for my life and I don't see why the man couldn't have a heart of gold and make a good living for himself. 

I'm not a huge fan of this royal stuff anyway.  I heard that it will take Kate FOUR MINUTES to walk down the aisle.  And 1,900 guests are invited.  The wedding just sounds like it's going to be boring as all get out.  Tape the reception and then you can count on me to tune in.  

 Good ol' Harry will keep things real: after the reception, there's an afterparty and whoever stays awake until 6:00 a.m. gets this luxurious 'Survivors' breakfast. 

By the way, can we discuss why it's such an ordeal that Prince William isn't going to wear a wedding band?  There's the principle of it, sure, but every human in the free world knows he's getting married.  It's the wedding of the century for crying out loud.  I feel like most men wear wedding bands to signify they're taken, and most women look for wedding bands on men to see as such.  You'd have to be deaf, blind and an ignoramus to not know that Prince William is a married man, right?

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