May 30, 2011

I want it all

Today I was walking through HEB in good ol' Georgetown, Texas, and for a split second I considered giving up my dreams, moving home and becoming a wife.

Of course, that was only for a split second :) My hunger in LA has not been satiated! But you know what? I know one day I will be so blissfully happy to leave the City of Angels, and to move, wherever, to be a wife and mom. (God knows I'm not raising the kids in LA.)

As I was checking out, I saw Kim Kardashian's People cover and couldn't resist the $3.99 purchase. I love magazines and I hope they will always be around. But I'm also deeply fascinated with Kim and her family. I can hear the comments already, but I really, truly like the Kardashians. Khloe can be hateful to her mom, Mrs. Jenner can be borderline psychotic when it comes to the family business, I still don't know what Kourtney is doing with Scott, or how Bruce handles it all, but I root for them. I like them. I like that they put the emphasis on family. I like that Kim could have sat around and done nothing with her life, given the whole family is financially blessed, but instead worked to make her own money. And, what most people knock her for -- "Being famous for nothing" -- I actually give her credit for.

She might not be a singer, an actress, or have a college degree. But she's famous because of her family (entertaining as hell) and her beauty. Models are famous because -- you guessed it! -- they're beautiful. So is Kim. Sue her. She also has a big heiny. This is something I applaud. Thanks to people like her and Jennifer Lopez, I don't feel wildly insecure about my behind, as I was in high school and a portion of my college years.

And while the family may be everywhere, overexposed, whatever, at least they're working. Kim wanted a fragrance, and she made it happen. I can tell you if I had endorsement offers coming at me right and left, I wouldn't pass them up either. She'd be ludicrous not to. Furthermore, Kim knows she's not going to win an Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy. She knows where she stands and she uses it to her advantage. I can't knock anyone for that.

So needless to say, I am slightly obsessed that she is getting married to Kris Humphries. Actually, I am ecstatic for her. Because here's the deal: I have ambition, I have goals, I have dreams, but a few months ago I was literally living in delusion-land, and I convinced myself I was probably going to have to force my way through life without a partner because I want to essentially rule the world. Yes, I'm picking up on the Carrie Bradshaw dramatics. Don't recommend it at all. But anyway, now that Kim has found a man and he's even willing to marry her? You can have it all! And that is what I believed before I moved to LA and got sucked up in insecurity-ville that the city tends to lay on you upon arrival. I know I shouldn't be placing my life path on whether or not Kim Kardashian gets married or not, but let's face it, my hero Oprah isn't married (by choice, I think) and I want her career to a T. So I always assumed that while I'd want to have a husband, it probably wouldn't end up that way (and it still might not).

But then Carrie Underwood got married and I'm like, "Well, maybe you can have it all!" Reconfirming my initial thinking. And then Kim got engaged so I'm hell-bent that, as a woman, you can have the flourishing career and the love of your life, but it depends on the type of man he is.

Last night, I had dinner with my 8th grade cheerleading sponsor (Mrs. Destefano) and she told me that I need to have a relationship, much like the Bible says, that is perfectly yoked. I need to find an equal, not a lesser, not someone I feel inferior to either. And I already knew that, but what's more important is that she explained finding someone who I can communicate to about my faith and God with is essential. Which, again, I already knew, but having mentors guide you in matters of the heart always helps, you know?

I know some of you think that I'm preachy when it comes to my spiritual posts, but I can assure you I am not trying to be. I just hope that by expressing some of the things I've experience or gone through, that one person will be touched by God's movement in my life, and realize He can move in their life as well. Zachary Levi (from Chuck) said this quote and I have it printed and hanging on my wall:

"The atmosphere in Hollywood in general is very anti-conservative, very anti-Christian. The liberal segment of Hollywood, which is 80 percent of it if not more, they look at Christians as hypocrites that are false and fake. The tough part is that in many cases I can’t argue with them. My job on my set, I believe, is to first just love people and gain that trust with people where they know that I really do love them and care about their well-being, so that when they are running into problems, they will hopefully, at some point, come to me and ask me, “What is your peace all about? What is your comfort all about? Where do you get your love? Where do you get your talents? And I can turn to them and say without blinking, “Jesus Christ.”
I have never seen an episode of Chuck (sorry! I hear it's a great show though), but this one quote has impacted my life. As excited as I get about God, I know me blogging about Him isn't going to change people's thinking.

So, what am I trying to say here? Since we've gone from the Kardashians to Christ and everywhere in between, I guess I think I'm trying to get at that God can make it all happen. I believe God has a divine plan for my life. Moreso, in the past few days, I've seen God's plan working tremendously for some of my very talented friends: Cole and Jerren, just to name a few.

I'm sure a lot of you are going to read this and say, "So Kirbie thinks that you can leak a sex tape, get famous and end up with a 20.5 carot engagement ring. What a gal." or "Kirbie thinks Kim Kardashian is godly or something?" Listen, I don't condone sex tapes. But really, I don't think Kim wanted that tape to leak. I don't even think Paris Hilton wanted hers to leak (laugh it up). Come on, people, who enjoys watching themselves have sex? Think about it. It makes me cringe to fathom the thought. I would take a knife to my neck (if I was idiotic enough) to make a sex tape and have it leak all over the world. And sure, Kim's mom did negotiate, and she received a lump sum of money for the tape... but if I were in the same situation and there was no way around it coming out? I'd do the same thing. Sue me. It would be my body everyone is watching after all... not like I should really be discussing sex tape "state of emergency" plans on here, but it is my blog, so when in Rome... I mean, I can't exactly specify what the heck I'd do in that situation. But if God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it. Or in this case, if an ex-boyfriend releases a sex tape, God will get you through it.

Basically, aside from the non-existant sex tape tizzy I got myself into, I don't think women should be relegated to choose what's more important: a career or a family. I think both are attainable, as long as the family's priorities always top career needs.

You can have it all! Don't limit yourself based on the status quo. I think that's an important point to emphasize for women my age. Congrats Kim and Kris... not like I know either of you, but I'm (selfishily) hoping for a reality TV version of the wedding.

May 24, 2011

Tragedy + God

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." John 14:1-3

via my cousin's fiance -- Dallas storm 5/24/11

In light of all these tornadoes and worldly disasters we've all been hearing about, or worse, experiencing, I thought I'd write about coping and getting through these really tough situations.

I can't imagine having my hometown wiped out, plowed to nothing. I can't imagine going through an earthquake and an Tsunami. Or getting shot in the head at point blank range. None of these things were elicited by the people who went through them. They just happen.

I was on Gawker yesterday and read about the man who believed the world was ending on Saturday. First, we all know, as Christians, that we'll never know when the rapture will commence, so there's no use in following someone who believe he knows. But someone posted a comment that said something along the lines of doubting God. They explained that they were having a hard time believing in God when he "lets evil people like the man who spread" propaganda, who essentially stole people's money for advertising, and let's good people get sucked into it.

I hope everyone knows this, but God isn't going to stop worldly transgressions and disasters from happening. God is not of the world; God is real and subsequently, so is evil. That is how we know He is so great, because he provides us favor, peace and forgiveness when we need it against the evil going on around us. God offers us refuge for these things, and gives us guidance to properly overcome them. It doesn't mean life is dandy, that there is never going to be terror, heartbreak, confusion, anxiety and no problems of any kind. And you've heard it a thousand times, but it's what makes us stronger. Having trouble blooming where you're planted? Can't find a job? Feel lonely? Suck it up. Get up early the next morning, pray to God for things you need help with, and live an excellent life. David woke up early the day he took down Goliath. Jesus would wake up early to pray out of habit. That's how he rolled. And when you take the time to pray for things you care about: people (your parents, your girlfriend, your future husband) or habits (quitting smoking, managing your debt, easing your worries), or anything for that matter, God hears them (the best part) and you get to live the rest of your day feeling at peace, knowing you had time with God that morning to guide your path.

This is what makes faith so sweet: when you go through terrible or what may seem like torturous things, you are able to be resilient over them because you have a calmness, knowing that God is going to get you through it as a stronger person. 

I don't envy what a lot of the world as gone through, and I really feel blessed nothing serious has happened to myself, friends or family. But keep the faith even in the most turbulent of times. If you give up faith during the lowest of lows, how are you supposed to be blessed during the highest of highs? 

The world isn't free of tragedy, but we are free from it with faith!

The Shanahan Plan: Week 2 Recap

Most of you are aware that I have been on this new endeavor to change my lifestyle. Eating Cheerios and processed foods 24/7 isn't conducive to a good diet (or a good body for that matter). What's sad is that before I started this whole lifestyle makeover, I thought I ate well. Like, "Oh, Cheerios for breakfast and a snack isn't terrible, skipping lunch sometimes isn't too bad, and eating brussels sprouts and asparagus for dinner is great!"

The missing component here is healthy fats and PROTEIN. Notice I have literally no meat whatsoever in my daily food intake! And I had a whole lot of dairy too - I would snack of cheese sometimes or Jello Mousse or grab a Starbucks Chai Latte. Notice I "snack" a lot too. Not a bad thing if  was consuming healthier foods like veggies, but yeah, I wasn't (for the most part).

This makes me feel like a pig, but to be honest, I was also eating out a ton. I'd go to Subway and get a decently healthy sandwich -- turkey on wheat with veggies. If I was out at a restaurant, I'd try to go the healthy salad or salmon route. But still, it's as healthy as that type of food can be. And I was eating a ton of food with preservatives and all kind of other crap in it.

So, after two weeks, things have gotten so much easier! My cravings have gone down tremendously. I can see a cupcake at work and bypass it, Starbucks is just a luxury (when I get to have it again), and I actually get excited to get home and cook a meal.

While I've had a few supporters with me on this journey, but some of my friends have been less than thrilled. "You're on a DIET?" "You're boring." "What can you eat?" It's like the world is about to implode when I say not drinking or can't won't be getting anything at Starbucks or Pinkberry.  Not going to lie, it has hurt my feelings some that I have to explain myself to some of them. Can't they just pat me on the back for the attempt? Obviously I want to do this for my own peace of mind and well-being... I'm 100% supportive of everything they do, I'd appreciate the same in return. I don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining myself, nor do I need to.

Moving on, Terry and I discussed that I want to build lean muscle (tone) and lose weight.

When I first started, my measurements were:
  • 25 inch waist
  • 35 inch hips
  • 9.5 inches around my bicep
  • 20 inches around the thickest part of my thigh
  • 118 pounds
That was 5/13 (Friday). I measured again on 5/22 (Sunday) and in addition to losing another 1.5 pounds, my measurements are:
  • 24.5 inch waist
  • 34.5 inch hips
  • 9.5 inches around my bicep
  • 19.5 inches around the thickest part of my thigh
  • 116.5 pounds
I lost half an inch (in most places)! Not too shabby for a week. Granted I did indulge a little (I had a Moscow Mule at my friend's birthday dinner last Tuesday -- delish), but the progress has made me more consistent and also more motivated to keep on track.

Also, I've gotten so much better about cutting out cardio and focusing on strength training. I'm working hardest on my legs, but I'm finding I'm able to handle more weight in my arms in just a few weeks than I did before because I'm really putting the pedal to the metal when I'm at the gym. Moreso, my clothes are fitting differently! I'm noticing certain things that were tight before are more loose fitting, and today I feel comfortable wearing a dress I bought my sophomore year of college -- four years ago. I mean, I haven't lost a significant amount of weight or anything, but my overall self image has improved in just a little over two weeks!

Terry admitted when I started that I went full out and we should have eased into things, but I'm glad I started off the way I did. I'm finding new ways to enjoy food and I just feel better now that I'm eating right. I'm more alert and I just feel and overall sense of goodness when I'm providing the proper foods for my body. It's really be a great experience thus far -- so much so that I was freaking out about my upcoming trip to Texas: "How am I supposed to eat all the glorious Tex-Mex and fried foods?!" and now it's not bothering me as much. Terry said I could indulge but not go cray-cray and to keep it moderate, but to eat clean leading up to the trip. While I'm looking forward to the food, I'm also looking forward to the pool, seeing my fam, and nomming on some Texas deilcacies isn't at the forefront of my mind.

Also, Terry has an easy travel workout to try. I am cracking up picturing me attemp those wall push-ups. I mean, accident waiting to happen, anyone? Knowing me, something terrible would happen. I'll do the chair pushups before I get too adventurous.

Need a healthy and delish snack? Kale chips. Not the buy at the store kind.
  • Purchase a bundle of Kale at your local grocer, Whole Foods, what have you.
  • Wash the bundle, and chop into chip-sized pieces with a large knife, and cut off the stems.
  • Heat oven to 350 degrees.
  • Take a spoonful of Coconut Oil and heat in the microwave for 45 seconds until it melts.
  • Mix kale with Cocnut Oil in the bowl so it's lightly doused. (Don't overdo it)
  • Spread the kale on a baking sheet, and sprinkle a tiny bit of sea salt on top. Just as smidge though.
  • Place sheet in oven for about 10-15 minutes or until the kale is appears crunchy.

Voila!  Beautiful kale chips are ready... and they taste like Baked Lays. Not oily at all and totally yummy!
Here's a fun workout playlist I made to get me through the cardio and weights:
  1. Hollywood - Michael Buble
  2. Feels So Good - Steven Tyler
  3. I Don't Want to Know - Glee Cast
  4. Any Way You Want It/ Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin' - Glee Cast
  5. All of the Lights - Kanye West
  6. Linkin Park - Waiting for the End
  7. Shanice - I Love Your Smile
  8. Edge of Glory - Lady Gaga

Until next week... Hard body wishes and paleo dreams!

May 22, 2011

Trust me, that's the price of beauty

Disclaimer: ladies, this is for you, but gents, you should read too. It'll make you think the next time you decide to criticize a woman about what she wears or how her hair looks.

I wanted to do this women's survey to see if I could retrieve any findings that would be eye-opening. I'm not a doctor, a psychologist or qualified to report findings of any kind, but I am a woman, and I figure that's a good qualification if any.

Let's cut to the chase. I've been feeling really unattractive as of late. I'm not posting this for a pity party, for a compliment -- none of the above. But there have been several instances the past few weeks where I'm in situations and I feel "blah" compared to everyone else. I mean, I have a healthy dose of confidence in my life, but I don't know. I'm not feeling like the glowing, bubbly person I perceived myself to be a few months ago.

Actually, I think part of the problem is that I perceive myself in one light, but then I get involved in situations where I'm constantly compared to the women around me. It's the worst. It's not something I really think about until after the fact, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't get to me sometimes.

Of course this is natural, it's a normal part of life to look in a crowd and seek the one you find most attractive. And all women have good and bad days. But I got to thinking... maybe this isn't a "me" thing. Maybe this is something that happens at this stage in life to women such as myself. Like honestly, I feel haggard some days. I'm 24. Haggard should not be in my vocabulary. As much as I take care of myself, I'm not feeling it. I'm not feeling like, "Girlfriend, you look pretty today." I haven't felt that way in a good while. (Update: I wrote this on Saturday before I got my hair done, and let me tell you, getting your hair did makes all the difference. I feel fresh! I even tried on a cute outfit tonight that I'm pretty stoked about. Really, that's all it takes I guess!)

Also, another thing that raised my interest in this topic was the "Born This Way" episode of Glee. They do a beautiful mash-up of "I Feel Pretty" from Westside Story and TLC's "Unpretty."

"But if you can't look inside you, find out who am I to be in the position to make me feel so damn unpretty/I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty, and witty and bright, and I pity any girl who isn't me tonight."

Nail on the head there, Glee. When I was in 5th grade, there was a group of guys (who, funny enough, became my good friends in high school) who called me Moose Lady. Laugh it up. I had no idea why, and figured they must have thought my nose was big. It was embarrassing and I felt so ugly. Turns out, it was because I put my hands to the side of my head one day to do the "nanny nanny boo boo" gesture and they said it looked like moose antlers. And then we kissed and made up and all was fine. But still, there are times I look in the mirror and I'm like, "When I get the money, I will get a nose job... and veneers." And then other days I deem myself a hormonal mess and have no idea why I'd need a nose job or veneers -- I'm happy with both. And at least I have them. Some days, I'm like, "Yeah mama, you look great."

And then the cycle repeats itself. Or I'll think about how I should be taller or need to tone up my legs more or whatever. It always seems like there is something to improve upon.

Commence the survey. There were a lot of things some of you women said that I think you were just saying because you're straight up in denial.  There were some things that made me cry. And there were other things that contradicted themselves -- some would choose the answer that they "want to look good for themselves," but then would elaborate and say they enjoy it when someone else (mainly a boy) notices. 

Basically I can deduce that if we weren't all trying to keep up with the Jones', a lot of our problems would be solved. Just stop comparing yourself to other women, because the fact is there will always someone skinnier, smarter, taller, and better looking than you. Stop looking from the outside for validation and look up and within. You with me?

Here are the highlights of the survey:
  • Most girls feel prettiest when they're with someone they love (31%). Subsequently, if someone they love criticizes an aspect of their looks, they take it more seriously and feel more inclined to fix it. Next up is when someone compliments them (25%), and then when they have makeup on (19%). Makeup is a crutch for most of us!  19% also chose other option, which mostly consisted of things like getting their hair did, getting dolled up or wearing a cute outfit. Only 6% said they felt prettiest without makeup! Which is interesting because I find that most guys actually love it when their girlfriends don't wear it. 
  • Not surprisingly, the most amount of women felt the worst about themselves when they were around women they felt were better looking than them. 
  • 42% of the participants do not feel they are at their goal weight and worry about this aspect of their appearance the most. Other popular answers: not toned enough and cellulite. Nobody feels they are too thin/don't have enough curves. 27% of women felt their facial features weren't up to par: mostly their teeth, then their noses and lastly, lips.
  • 52% of women would not get plastic surgery. However, few said it was because they accept what God gave them -- it's mostly because they are scared they'd look "worse" or that something would go wrong. For the women who would, they almost all talk about lipo to lose inches in the hard to get places or getting a breast lift/implants after having children.
  • 81% want to improve them appearance for themselves -- but most everyone included another aspect of life they feel would benefit from the improvement: their husband or boyfriend, their career, their family. Seems we have some ulterior motives, even though we feel good when we look good. More importantly, we don't feel good the way we are. We always strive for improvement.
  • They feel unattractive usually around "that time of the month" or if they haven't worked out in awhile. (42%)
  • Here's where I cried -- when the women described times they felt uncomfortable with their looks:
"When I go shopping and certain clothes don't fit when you feel gross about yourself. Or when guys judge you when you are an average weight and you feel like you still need to lose alot more."

"Literally the past 2 years... Pool... When I'm with my beautiful friends!"

"I always feel very uncomfortable with my looks when I get my hair cut. You're sitting in front of a big mirror for an hour or so and I'm always hoping the stylist can perform some miracle to transform me into a celebrity with my look and I'm always disappointed."

"When I was younger and my mom would talk to me about my weight. I felt all she could see was my weight. But I was/am more than that. As I've gotten older, I've become more confident with who I am and have voiced my opinion about weight. It needs to be my decision, not hers or my desire to please her."

"When other people bring it up about themselves it makes me think more about my flaws." (There were an overwhelming amount of responses that said this in one way or another.)
  • As far as when they feel their best, it's no surprise: mostly when they've lost weight or someone compliments them. 
Nothing real eye opening here, except that all women have insecurities and that all of us are concerned about how we look. It makes me to feel better knowing this, but it also makes me sad that all of us aren't content with where we are looks-wise. That we have this societal pressure to look a certain way for one reason or another, whether it's the media or a man... or our own mothers.

But we all go through times where we have a bad hair day or our clothes aren't fitting right or we have a blemish. That's life. It's how we think internally about ourselves that matters. I highly encourage all of you to do something once a day that makes you happy -- whether it's drinking that chai latte or going for a run or even putting on false eyelashes.  

And of course, pray and get to know God. I always encourage that because the peace God can give will surpass any compliment you can receive from a man or any hairdo you can get from the salon.

May 21, 2011


What a difference just a year makes.

If I think about what I was doing this weekend two years ago, I could tell you verbatim. I was at a very different point in my life.  I was sick, living in a new city and had no idea what in the world I was doing.  Not one.

If I think about what I was doing this weekend last year, I could tell you verbatim as well.  I was in Texas for the weekend.  

And a ton of things changed when I got back here.

Isn't it absolutely crazy how much can transform in the blink of an eye? I think God gave me this past year for a distinct reason, mainly being to prove that I can do so much for myself without others, but I also gain so much from having consistent, loving people in my life. I mean, 365 days ago I had never been to an awards show. Never taken an on-camera course. Never worked in PR in Los Angeles. Never had a salary paying job -- heck, I didn't even have health insurance. I still had my Texas plates and license (up until a week ago). 

I was a different person, completely, 100%.

And now I feel like I am the strongest I have ever been. If I didn't go through all of the highest highs and lowest lows of this year, I wouldn't be able to recognize a lot of things that I have been lately -- or more so, I wouldn't be able to recognize why things happened the way they did in the past.  Hindsight is always 20/20, right? You never know what the heck is happening as you live it, but later, when you're not searching for the answer, it will come to you and you'll have that "aha" moment.  I've learned that every outcome ends up the way it should, and that I can't base my own self worth on somebody or something else. These things serve for both my personal life and career goals, and I'm thankful God put me to the test, and surrounded me with so much love and support in my life.

I'm looking forward to the next 365 days of my life. I can say if you're ever in wondering why God makes you go through some things, just remember: it's always a part of his plan for your life, and it's always, always, always for the best. No matter what. 

May 20, 2011


Well guys, if tomorrow is the end of the world... that sucks because I had a lot of stuff I wanted to do before then. But let's be honest, none of us know when that really is going to happen. And most of these people holding up signs on interstates and berating you in the mall are certifiable, if not harmful to themselves and others. Bless their hearts.

One of my favorite things, in life, however, has to do with the end of the world. It's called "END OF WORLD." Fitting, huh? This viral video was all I quoted for about three years straight. I love it so much that for Spring Break 2007 I did my own rendition in a cab on our way to attempt to illegally drink in a bar in Florida. (To any concerned parties, aka my parents, it didn't happen.)

May 19, 2011

If this is Von Jaks

This is going to be awkward... or prove the internet can bring people together. is a gem because it tracks how many views my blogs get a day (or any site that needs it). Most people wake up and brush their teeth, take a shower, whatever. First thing I do when I wake up is check my StatCounter. This is a considerable upgrade from waking up and checking my email, Facebook or Twitter.

I love StatCounter because I can see how people find my site: by others posting my blogs on their Twitter or Facebook, other sites that link my posts (mainly tween sites that are obsessed with JTT, Justin or Zac Efron); I can see how people search for the blog: #1 searched item is "kirby goes to hollywood" (my name notoriously misspelled, as per usual) -- which is ahead by a hair, because "vajazzle my vagina" slipped behind by a few searches; user exit links, and what pages they check out. I c find out how many times they've returned to the site and how long they stay on.  For instance, how I found out HARPO was reading? Well, their server said "HARPO."  Easy peesy.  I always know when Mom reads because I know she uses Windows, what browser she uses and the name of our cable company in Georgetown. And the only person I know in San Angelo is my bestie, Erin. :)

For those who read and are having a royal sh*t fit right now ("DOES SHE SEE HOW MANY TIMES I READ HER BLOG?"), please calm down. I might see where you're looking from, but it's not like it says "This is Kirbie's ISP address" or anything unless you've named it your first and last name.  And yeah, I do know when people from different companies are reading, but the fact is that I can't think off the top of my head who works where (in most cases). A majority of everyone I know is from Dallas, Austin or LA, and I can't decipher who's who.  So no need to feel insecure about reading.

Now that I'm finished talking you through that drama...

StatCounter also has clued me in to something the past few weeks. I'm just going to come out with it:

Von Jaks, if you or someone you know is reading this, are you trying to find me?  

I noticed a while back that someone in Las Vegas Googled "Kirbie Jaks" and my post about my dad, Randy, came up as the #1 search result. It brought this Vegas visitor to my site to browse around.  Then, tonight, I noticed they Googled "Kirbie Jaks" again and came back to the site.

This could be a shot in the dark, but the only people who know my biological last name is Jaks (besides those of you who read my post dedicated to my dad) are my family and close friends, and maybe some kids who went to kindergarden with me. Nobody in my family, that I'm in contact with, would ever search for me as "Kirbie Jaks," and I don't have any family in Vegas... except Von, if he (you) still live(s) there.

So I'm going to throw this out there:  Von, if this is you, and you wish to contact me, send me an email. There's an "About Me" link on the right hand side of the screen that will lead you to a page where you can shoot me a few lines. I would be lying if I said I wasn't curious about you and your life. You are my biological father and Mom says I have your nose and teeth... I figure I should know maybe a little bit about you, and maybe you'd want to know how I'm doing too?

If not, you can read this blog, it keeps everything up to date in my life.

May 18, 2011

The Big O

Well, since it's not happening, I guess it doesn't matter that I let the cat out of the bag.

click to enlarge

A few weeks ago, I was checking my Statcounter and noticed that HARPO had been reading my blog. For someone who loves Oprah maybe a tad too much, this was huge for me. I was having a literal freak out, losing my wits, the whole nine yards.

No, I don't think it meant that Oprah was the one reading my blog. But it meant that someone at HARPO found me, and I was pretty sure I knew why.

Everyone at my office thinks I'm nuts because I wrote about three letters to Oprah a month. I would submit myself and people I care about for a HARPO Hookup on the reg: I submitted my mom last October in hopes we could put on a huge celebrity Halloween party and get Better Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy to come and perform "I Put a Spell On You" from Hocus Pocus. I submitted my mother's friend's daughter, Macey, who might be the biggest Bieber fan ever, in hopes Oprah would send Macey to a concert and perhaps even be selected as his "One Less Lonely Girl" during the show. (Didn't happen, sorry Mace!) I submitted myself countlessly: "Take Kirbie to Work Day" where Oprah would let me follow her around for a day and see what her job was really like.  Uber creepy, I know. I submitted myself for an *NSYNC reunion so that they boys would reunite and I could perform Tearin' Up My Heart (or, my personal fav) I Want You Back with them, since I know all the choreography. I submitted Seer Outfitters since Kyle Korver now plays for ChiTown, I submitted almost anyone and everyone I could think of who needed a hookup. To no avail, obviously.

Then at the end of March I submitted for the topic, "Who is your style icon?"  I wrote this long pitch about how I love, love, love Carrie Underwood, and how, as a 24-year-old woman, she is someone that has kept me inspired, that style isn't about the clothes you wear but how you treat yourself and how you carry yourself, and how Carrie's story and music have helped me through heartbreak and rejection. So pathetic but it's true.  This is my life.

So guess what? I can share because now the whole shabang has come to an end and no privacy is to be had... but I GOT AN EMAIL from one of the producers. We all know Oprah is over, so I would post the thing on here, but I still am fearful that the Oprah gods will come after me for privacy invasion. And I ain't about to piss off Oprah. But they wrote me back letting me know they were considering me and to send photos. I never heard back, as it was very preliminary, and they're obviously taping the last shows right now, but how cool would it have been if I got to meet Carrie Underwood and Oprah on TV?

Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Maybe there's a time for me and the Oprah Winfrey Network.

May 16, 2011

The Shanahan Plan progress

Update: I've gotten a few Facebook messages, tweets and comments suggesting different diets for me. I'm flattered and I appreciate the responses!  But what kind of person would I be to give up a diet within the first week? I'm very happy with my progress and I am glad for the comments, but I'm very content working with Terry. Perhaps in the future I'll try out alternative methods, but if The Shanahan Plan has anything to do with it, I won't need them! :)  Best of luck to everyone who is on a plan and sticking to it.


First things first, congrats to T-man because he's now working with Olympic Medalist Allison Baver! He was also mentioned on Ashley Spivey's, from last season's Bachelor, blog called Say No to Cosmo.  Terry is working with Michelle Money, who is featured on the blog, and she gives him a shout out.  Congrats Terry on all the wonderful things coming your way!

Week One update
This diet has attacked my body with a vengeance.  I hate calling it a diet because diets are where people are literally psychotic, and boring, and can't eat all the good stuff... which, actually, because this is a lifestyle change, I'm not able to eat things I consider "good stuff."  Note that "good stuff" to me are sweets, pastas and Starbucks.  Not food that is actually "good" for you.  But the psychotic episodes haven't kicked in yet!

So, like any lifestyle change, the beginning is hard.  Real hard. To recap, I was eating a pretty healthy portion of grains per day. I got all of my energy with my "milk with coffee and sugar" concoction and Cheerios, not fat or protein, in the morning. Right now Terry is training my body to use fat for energy, so it's taken a toll on my alertness.

Day 1  (Tuesday) I had all of my food in tow since Terry sent me some nice recipes to go off of and a bunch of literature on the paleolithic diet.  I headed to Trader Joes and Whole Foods to stock up, and I followed everything he said: the times of my meals, what I was eating, etc.  I did notice I had a lot of eggs in my diet: I was eating three eggs (yes, actual eggs -- not carton eggs) in the morning and a hard boiled egg and half an apple with almond butter for a snack.  This concerned me, so I asked him if that was right.  I'll get into his answers later.  As for my workout, I used it as my skip day so I could grocery shop and get home to make dinner before Glee.

Day 2 (Wednesday) was a lot harder on me. I felt fatigued at work, like way more sleepy than normal. I figured I was just tired from lack of sleep, but the next night I got eight full hours since I am not going to the gym in the morning. I was still exhausted!  So I sent Terry an email and asked what was up. He said this was normal since my body is used to taking sugar and making it into energy, not fat. Since I wasn't having my Cheerios and coffee, my body was searching for energy but not sure where to take it from just yet. Soon it will know the protein and fat I eat in the morning are to be used to hype me up.  Today's workout was all strength training.  I spent an hour lifting and doing machines -- three sets with 10-15 reps, depending on the exercise.

Day 3 (Thursday) the cravings really got tough. I am allowed one serving a fruit a day, so my sugar intake is very little (given I am not consuming sugar in other forms).  The thing is, this diet is not limiting everything. Sure, I can't have calories or sugar from drinks, but I made a delicious shrimp dinner than incorporated raw honey and coconut oil, both that give an added sweetness (but not too sweet). Terry even sent me recipes for desserts I can eat and breakfasts that include waffles!  Workout: cardio -- step class for 45 minutes with 15 minutes of abs.

Day 4 (Friday) Someone get me a Starbucks. It's literally all I can think about. I don't want coffee, I want my chai latte! The good thing is that I am blogging about this and all my friends know, so today when my coworker came over to ask if I wanted anything from Urth Cafe (she was getting a boba tea latte), she immediately rescinded the offer because she didn't want me to break my stride.  Thanks Nat!  I was tempted.  No work out today. 

Day 5 (Saturday -- WEEKEND)  Today was a struggle.  I've been having chronic headaches for awhile, before the diet started -- nothing serious, but my head always kind of bothers me. I think this is also being influenced by my lack of caffeine, even though during the week I'll have a cup of Oolong tea to help with any cravings.  I woke up and made my standard breakfast, but was so lethargic that I went back to bed for two hours! I woke back up and headed promptly to STARBUCKS.  I know Terry, slap me on the wrist. I was bad. I had my chai latte but I did listen to your advice and went without the soy milk. I went with lowfat. Not like that's really doing me any better, but you did say no soy products!  

My snack was the half apple/nut butter ordeal with a hard boiled egg.  Then I forgot to eat dinner as I was running errands, then ran straight from Target to the movie theater, where I did, in fact, happen to eat Junior Mints. Yes, I royally screwed up my diet on this day. It's important that I share these things for progress sake.  If I sit here and pretend I'm doing perfectly, nobody is getting any help.  Workout: 45 minutes of cardio on the elliptical.

Day 6 (Sunday -- Weekend)  I woke up late, so I had a late-r breakfast. I had a banana, my one serving of fruit for the day, granted it wasn't a recommend one. I spent the day making meals for the week: chicken with veggies like sweet potatoes & brussels sprouts with pears for dinner, and crockpot chicken with tomatoes and bell peppers for lunch.  As it turns out, I realized that I hate chicken this week. Yes, I've never been a big fan, and every time I eat it I tend to have a sauce to go along with it, so I can't wait to fill Terry in on this one.  I may be the only human who enjoys beef and fish but not chicken.  Go figure.  

I also went to Pinkberry tonight and got a parfait.  This is strike three against Kirbster considering I am not supposed to have dairy or grains of any kind and the parfait includes both. However I haven't had grains all week so that's a start.  

Day 7 (Monday)  Kickbox cardio for an hour for my workout and three solid meals with the appropriate snacks during the day.  Today I am craving a turkey sandwich.

The point? This shiz is HARD, but anything worth having takes hard work.  It's going to be hard to kick my normal habits. I actually found myself this week saying, "I'm going to have to tell Terry I need my coffee in the morning." And then I realized my coffee was a splash of milk, two french vanilla creamer cups and FOUR SUGARS. Yeah, like that's necessary for my life.  

While I want to maintain a healthy lifestyle, and not to mention get a hot bod, I am concerned (which I'll get to in a minute). However, I'm already starting to notice changes in my body -- I've lost a pound (a healthy amount for a week)!  I know you all were expecting something extravagant, but this is a huge number for someone trying to lose weight the healthy way.  However, I know once I progress more with my strength training that my weight will increase, which is why I cannot focus on the number on the scale.  Also, my skin is glowing! It really is true about how your diet affects your skin.  

I do have questions, because I know girlfriend is going to want to eat grains sometime in my life (mmm pasta) and I know I can't go forever more without my precious Starbs. Not to mention, how does one go out to dinner on this?  Can I have a drink every now and then?  I want to be able to really get in my best shape, however, integrate this diet into a lifestyle I can actually live in the future. I will put my nose to the grindstone if I am determined, but once I reach that goal, I'll want to maintain my figure yet eat things I enjoy. I am concerned that once I hit my goal weight that once I start allowing other foods into my diet (read: Oatmeal for breakfast, a margarita on a Thursday night, or you guessed it... Starbucks) that the weight will pack on heavily and immediately. I hear about those crash diets and that freaks me out. This isn't a crash diet, but I still worry.  

I had this similar diet during senior year of college and I was in my best shape ever. The good ol' rec didn't have time constraints so some days I could be in there two and a half hours doing classes and whatnot. The rest of the week I'd just to do cardio and weights, and I ate well but also had splurges: mexican food, drinks and... you guessed it again, Starbucks!  So it can be done my friends.

To sum it all up
  • Arms are more defined
  • Glowing skin
  • Lost a pound
  • Don't focus on the scale
Questions for Terry
  • How can I make this a 24-year-old chick on a budget lifestyle? (Eat clean, yet allow myself to eat food I enjoy from time to time?)
  • I don't like chicken... help?
  • What are some foods I should keep an eye out for at restaurants if I go out to eat?  
  • First week down, what are the next steps? 

Stay tuned next Tuesday for a Week Two progress report!  

May 15, 2011

Happy Monday!  I have A LOT I want to blog about, but I'm also exhausted, so it probably won't be up until Tuesday or late Monday afternoon.

I'm making excellent progress on The Shanahan Plan and while I've had a few mishaps, I can't wait to share with you what's been going on the past week.  The one week update will be up Tuesday.  Terry was recently mentioned on Ashley Spivey's blog, Say No to Cosmo.  She was a contestant on The Bachelor last season.

Does anyone have contacts at American Idol?  I know I'm just another fish in the sea, but I'd really like to go to the finale this season.

Lastly, I've had a reoccurring theme swarm my life the past few weeks, and I want to write about it, but I am kind of at a standoff right now with the post.  I don't want it to sound cheesy and in-genuine, which is kind of how it reads at this point, even though I'm pouring my heart into it.  So hopefully in due time I can post it and it will read the way I want it to.

I'll leave you with this for now:

"How much better it is to get wisdom than gold.  And to get understanding is to be chosen above silver."  Proverbs 16:16

May 14, 2011

Whatever happened to Saturday night

If my horoscope is any indication, love is (allegedly) in the air.  Well, astro-gods, THROW ME A BONE HERE.  Because I'm ready.  I'm not even talking about love.  No, don't send me a relationship. Send me someone I enjoy talking to, kissing and hold hands with.  Someone who is so absolutely amazing that I don't even want to spend every day with him.  Just someone who will call me beautiful, take me on date once a week and likes to cuddle will do.

With that being said, here goes my Saturday night.  I'm not hating on it because it was absolutely hilarious, but at the same time I'm like, "Oh my Lord.  I'm turning into Carrie Bradshaw.  THE ONE HOE I HATE."  I'm going to movies, yapping about idiotic men I've had the shame of dealing with here, then coming home and blogging.  Really.  This is my life right now?

Not that I'd have it any other way (read: I would, but right now this is doing just fine).  First off, tonight I was supposed to go see Bridesmaids with my friend Shannon.  I'm all about this movie.  I can't wait to see it.  And of course I should have listened to the voice in my head because Lord knows that movie was sold out not only for the 7:55, 8:00 and 8:45 showings in the Los Angeles area (yes, all theaters in a 30 mile radius), but also FOR 9:10, 10:00 AND 10:55.  This is why I simultaneously love and hate LA.  In Texas, ordering tickets for a movie was unheard of unless you were trying to see How the Grinch Stole Christmas on Christmas Day or the midnight screening of Sex and the City.  Here, if you're trying to see a movie, opening weekend, on Saturday night, you better have ordered your tickets that morning; the day before if you're expecting a prime time showing.

Since I had been at Target before meeting up and bought us candy (gotsta be frugal -- $1.00 compared to $3.75?  You know I'm buying at Target!), we felt slighted that we'd go to the movies and not actually see one.  So what do we do?

Go see Jumping the Broom.

Judge me all you might, but I really wanted to see this movie.  I heard great things about it and hell, I enjoy anything that involves family terror and a wedding.  So we bought our tickets and sat second row, front and center.  Yes, it was *almost* sold out as well.  

I had high hopes.  But the fact is that the entire movie was whack.  The story line got so bizarre in some instances, and the sexual innuendos were abundant.  The beginning was slow, and about an hour in things got crazy.  First off, the mother-in-law was a crazy biotch -- both of them.  The story goes that the groom's mom was pissed about him getting married.  The bride's mom's marriage was in shambles and she was a mess.  And the bride and groom only knew each other six months before getting married.  

The whole movie you're like, "Why are these two getting married?"  They're fighting like Ike and Tina before they even walk down the aisle!  Red flags running rampant all over the place.  It wasn't just that their families hated each other, but that they seemed to hate each other too.  I mean, what fiances say to each other, "I'm questioning marrying you because of your mom," the NIGHT BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED?  I mean, since when hasn't a mother-in-law gone past the line that is appropriate?  I'm sure everyone has had mother-in-law issues and they still manage to get married. 

Also, other weird shiz goes on.  Romeo (read: Lil Romeo) is a 20-year-old college kid who is on a cougar hunt. Stuff really gets out of control when we find out that when we all thought the bride's dad was cheating on his wife, he was really going broke.  And then we find out that the bride's mom isn't really her mom, and her dad isn't her dad -- her aunt is her biological mom.

So this starts a whirlwind of shennanery, and the groom's mom overhears a convo about the biological mystery going on in the family and feels like IT'S HER GOD-GIVEN DUTY to tell the bride who her real parents are (or in this case, aren't).  So she ruins this couple's wedding day (granted they were already having severe issues) and the wedding is called off...

At this point I had to pee like a racehorse and by the time I returned, I came back to see an intimate convo with the bride and groom about how everything was "too messy now" to be fixed, except they "loved each other" so guess what?  They're still going to get married!  Baggage and all!  Cause as the pastor said, "Sometimes your soul mate can test you."  I'm sure this is true but jeez, these two seem to be jumping the gun, not jumping the broom.

Not to mention the whole friggen movie they won't take on the tradition of jumping the broom to appease the groom's mom.  I mean, it takes TWO SECONDS.  Just jump the damn broom!!!!  

And the most aggrevating part was Julie Bowen.  I love Julie in Modern Family, but her character in this movie was past the point of offensive.  Does the world see white people as dense, uncultured human beings?  She kept asking what the deal was with "everyone liking fried chicken" and why someone was "mocha as compared to milk chocolate" and most idiotic things like "what is the Cupid Shuffle?"  And the other infuriating thing is that the bride banned the DJ from playing anything that would instigate the electric slide.  I mean, IT'S A WEDDING.  I feel the electric slide is mandatory at weddings.  Who does this woman think she is?

Anyway, the whole thing was a tragedy.  I'm sad because I wanted to enjoy it, instead I left feeling berated and confused.  

There is a silver lining though!  We got to see the No Strings Attached Friends With Benefits poster featuring JT and oh my gentle. This is his number one look. A little scruffy, grown-out curly hair, a tan.  THIS IS THE MAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MERE 12 YEARS AGO.  (Plus the blonde tips.  We'll ignore that phase.)  One must wonder why I haven't had an encounter with JT in my two years here. I set out to pursue my dream in LA, but also came out here to befriend Britney, save Lindsay and marry Justin.  I haven't seen any of these people yet.  Not one.  Well, we did see JT from afar as he shot this movie (the scene with Emma Stone), but seriously God, I know you have a sense of humor.  Send me some outrageous story involving Justin.  Outrageous meaning he pops the question and we have curly haired children.

I always wonder how creeped out if Justin ever found this blog.  Here's to hoping he doesn't peruse the internet for blog mentions.

Now I'm home, despite my itch to out and be wild and crazy.  I'm watching Usher's Behind the Music and while I can't stand him, I absolutely love the Confessions album.  He's giving me so much material for my next wall.  He actually said something so insightful just now that I'm trying to decipher if it's actually a William Shakespeare quote.  Stay tuned mis amigos, and have a great Saturday night.  


May 13, 2011

Summer Girl Style: Yell-ow ow ow!

Blogger apparently deleted a few of my posts from yesterday.  I felt inclined to repost this because I assure you this is the hot color for the summer!  Limon-Lime has been seen on any and everyone: V-Hudge, B. Spears, MObama.  How presidential!

I love when someone writes or tells me that they enjoy my blog. 

Thanks Jessica for the note!  I appreciate it.

By the way, she's referring to these cookies.

click to enlarge

May 11, 2011

Mentervention: The fruit is forbidden for a reason...

ALRIGHT men. Put on your seatbelts because I’m about to throw you all through the ringer.

What is it with you guys and women who are… shall we say… ‘forbidden?’

Maybe I’m just neurotic, but I feel like most men have a wandering eye. Actually, you know what? I’m tired of making excuses for myself. I’m not neurotic. I’ve had infidelity and disrespect in my relationships, and let me tell you, IT SUCKS.

At first I thought it was just me, which is bullcrap, because why wouldn’t some guy want to make me their #1?  This is not a PSA to date me or anything...

Read More >>>

May 10, 2011

The Shanahan Plan

I've been wanting slash NEEDING to revamp my diet pretty hardcore lately, considering my meals are considerably not meals at all, and I live off of Cheerios and brussels sprouts. Not appetizing, now is it?

Enter Terry Shanahan. Terry is a certified metabolic typing advisor and works with Crossfit athletes. His repetoire of clients includes everyone from NCAA Division I athletes, Vegas showgirls, body builders, average Janes like myself, and someone else you might have heard of: the King of 3-pointers, Kyle Korver.

Obviously I'm pretty psyched right now because I'm a huge Bulls fan! I cannot take credit for finding Terry though -- I actually heard about him through Kyle's brother, Klayton (he's the Division I athlete I was referring to earlier. By the way, ladies, there's a picture of Klay up on Terry's website. I'm not trying to make you blush or anything Klayton, but you're looking real good in the photo. Just sayin'.) Anyway, back to the point. Klay had commented on a video of Terry's, which happened to come up in my newsfeed, which introduced me to the gloriousness that is Coconut Oil, and I did a post on it. And the rest was history!

Here's Terry's video on making five meals in 20 minutes.  Sold!

I spoke to Terry a week or so ago and first and foremost, he's a really great guy. Besides that, he's also very informative and he knows so much about food that it blows my mind. The guy is an encyclopedia! We chatted about what I wanted to achieve with my body and whatnot, and then we got down to business.

The first thing Terry does during consultations is he has you fill out a New Client Input spreadsheet, where you divulge personal information that you'd rather not let other human beings see, i.e. how much you weigh and your eating habits. Yes, he has you fill out this form and you have to record what you eat on a daily basis. And most importantly, you have to be honest. That was the humbling part. I assure you, my sheet included comments like, "I know this is terrible," and "I can't believe I eat like this," and "I feel like SUCH A FATTY!"

Then, yesterday, we chatted for about an hour and as it turns out, my diet is pretty crappy. I'm eating okay foods, but I'm not eating the best quality of food. And there is A LOT I have to learn.

I'm not going to give away Terry's entire livelihood because if I posted it on here, why would people hire him? I'll outline a few key points he made to me yesterday.

Terry as a lifestyle coach more than anything. He guides you in terms of diet and excercise, but he also is very imformative and helps you to understand why you're making the necessary changes.

We're starting off slow, so Terry recommended that I:
  • Eat a protein for every meal
  • Stop counting calories!
  • Change up my workouts

All of these things will be significant changes in my life, and I'll tell you why in this post.
Regarding my eating habits, here is what I sent Terry for my meal journal. It isn't pretty.

Click to enlarge

As you can see, breakfast consists of grains and coffee, my lunch always varies, but it includes chicken and a salad of some sort, and my snack is, yet again, made of grains; I skip dinner for the gym and then eat veggies for a late dinner. By the way, my coffee consists of soy milk, creamer, and brown sugar cubes from Whole Foods. I take the term "Would you like coffee with your milk/sugar?" to a whole other level.

What Terry told me about my diet is that it's not that I'm eating terribly, but I'm eating a lot of grains. The thing about grains, which, Terry, please correct me if I'm wrong, is that they raise my blood sugar, which will cause my Insulin to rise (because insulin is what helps to levels out your blood sugar and regulates carb and fat metabolism), which creates Cortisol, which stores fat. Now a healthy amount of Cortisol is okay, but if your Insulin and Cortisol get out of control, then essentially "shit hits the fan." And since I'm eating grains like bagels and Cheerios for breakfast and snacks, Terry was surprised that I'm my size at all. Not to mention the sugar that I put in my coffee or those cupcakes and cookies at the office I'll nom on regretfully happily. I need to replace these grains with protein (chicken, eggs, whatever) and a healthy fat, like an avocado slice on my eggs for breakfast.

Note: if you want a healthy alternative to coffee, try green tea.  If you must have coffee, Terry recommends coconut milk from Whole Foods with a Stevia packet in the coffee instead of cream and sugar.

Now that I'm divulging my eating habits, T, you should be aware that I'm also addicted to Starbucks' chai lattes and consume at least one a day. So I'm basically going into retrograde and starting lent all over. As you can tell, I am sugar FIEND. I love sweets! So this will be a huge lifestyle lift for me if I want to ensure that I stay healthy, both physically and mentally.

Yes, mentally. Terry also informed me that while changing your eating habits will improve performance and body composition, it will also help you emotionally! PRAISE THE LORD. Every woman should try this just for that aspect alone! And now that I think of it, most of you men should do it too...

There is a rhyme and a reason to this. Cliff Notes version: basically, by keeping your Cortisol and Insulin under control, it will keep your neurostransmitters in line as well. Thinking that depression, anxiety and whacked out mood swings are "a part of life" is archaic thinking, because it's not. And it has a lot to do with what you're eating.

Anyway, on to calorie counting: every girl has or will do it. Terry's recommendation? STOP counting! This is huge. I know approximately how many calories are in everything I eat, so when I hit the gym I know how much I need to burn. But what he emphasizes is that it's not how many calories I consume, but what I'm consuming. So I'm throwing all my old habits all the window and starting anew.

Now for the workout.   Here is what I sent Terry:
Click to enlarge

As you can see, I'm doing a ton of cardio.  Sometimes, if I wake up early for the gym, I'll go back to the gym at night to take a cardio class.  This might sound psychotic, but I am by no means obsessive about my weight.  Although now that I look at this chart, maybe I am?  I don't think about my weight that much people! To be honest, I enjoy getting up early and working out, and at night I get bored, so the gym seems like the most reasonable option. 

Terry's advice?  He wants me to lay off the cardio.  Assuring me all girls have this misconception, cardio isn't the only way to get fit.  You know when you see those skinny people who are flabby at the same time?  Kind of gross.  So instead of hitting the elliptical five times a week and taking all those cardio classes, he wants me to switch it up:  three days of cardio (only), two or three days of strength training (only).  "But Terry, I'm not trying to look like a professional basketball player!"  Again, Terry assured me I won't look like a man.  Like any woman, I worry about bulking up since I want to get lean.  He let me know that because of my new eating habits that I will be leaner than ever and won't have to worry about getting buff.  Then again, this is because Terry has tailored this regimen for my goals. 

He's been so helpful just in the past two phone calls and I can't wait to see how this next week goes.  The thing about your health is that it's yours.  It varies from person to person.  What might work for me might not work for you, so I encourage you to contact Terry and let him walk you through your body goals. 

Also, Terry is always looking for new opportunties, so if you have a business pitch, send it his way.  (Sorry, the PR side of me is coming out!)

This morning I woke up and made myself eggs with a slice of avocado and some pico de gallo on top.  It was delicious!  I ate it around 8:00 and it's almost 10:30 and I'm feeling really alert, happy and most importantly, full!  Especially since before I'd eat around 9:00ish and be starving by 10:30.

At the end of this I will be posting a before and after photo with my results.  I couldn't bring myself to post the before photo right now.  Not that I think I look bad or anything, but yeah, I'm critical, and I'm a little more shy than one would think. 

Can't wait to see where The Shanahan Plan takes me!

May 8, 2011

Something Borrowed review

It's review time!  Because what would this blog be without my two sense cents?  (I know the difference... just a tad sleepy when I wrote this!)


Well, you've probably heard me talk about Something Borrowed about a-milli a-milli a-milli times now.  This is because I have known about this movie before I even knew the book existed.  Cliff's Notes version:  I met the author, Emily Giffin, last year when I worked at Frederic Fekkai.  She was like this bigger-than-life personality who was insanely beautiful and just happened to strike up a convo with me while she was getting her makeup done while I was working the front desk.  She asked if I was an actress, told me she loved my name, and I went out and bought her books afterwards.

Well it just so happens Mrs. Giffin is using my namesake for her next book!  This is thrilling.  Emily, if the book gets made into a movie, you know who to call... wink wink.

Alright.  Down to the nitty gritty.  THE REVIEW OF THE MOVIE!

In standard fashion, the book is better than the movie.  I said it.  However, the movie is still great!  It gets started off kind of slow, and the whole time I was wondering when the voiceover would start in.  The book is in first person, so naturally I assumed the movie would be narrated by Rachel (Ginny Goodwin).  The trailers even had her narration in them!  So to say I was put off for the first 30 minutes would be accurate.

Bravo to casting.  I was pissed when I heard Kate Hudson was going to be Darcy, because if you read the books, Darcy is brunette -- which is funny, considering when I first envisioned Darcy, she was blonde, but then it notes in the book that she's a brunette like Rachel and I had to completely change my vision of her.  I think the movie did the standard "opposite" typecast thing.  But I shouldn't have been pissed because Kate really encompassed how I envision Darcy.  I have a Darcy in my life and I'm always wondering when she's going to flip the switch with me.  I'm not having an affair with her fiance or anything, but I'm just waiting for that moment when she goes ape. So glad that Kate did her justice.  

The guy who plays Marcus is literally what I had in my mind.  Some tall, buff dude with long-ish hair, goatee, annoying laugh and overall some kind of smooth-talking idiot.  Perfect casting, like I said before.  Ginny was a great Rachel, kind of awkward but beautiful (like Rach).  And let's go ahead and get to Dex.

SWOON.  Holy mother.  Google him ladies! Real name: Colin Egglesfield. First of all, I love him because all of his outfits look like Banana Republic vomited all over his body.  You gotta love a man with a great sense of style, and Dex certainly knows how to dress.  Round of applause for that.  Second, just like in the book, you absolutely root for Dex to get with Rachel, even though he's a horrible person for cheating on his fiance with her.  Nobody in their right mind roots for the guy in these types of situations.  But somehow Colin Egglesfield makes you sympathize with the character.  Like Emily said, "A star is born!"

Love that they incorporated more of Dex's parents and their weight on the marriage issue, but I wish they would have gone more in-depth about his mom, because for whatever reason I cannot remember her having any issues in the book (nor remember her at all, I don't think she's mentioned) and wish they would have shown her giving or not giving Dex the blessing to call off the wedding. 

I wish that Claire wasn't so neurotic.  In the book, I remember her being a wannabe Darcy: not as pretty, but still very stylish and confident, but more of Darcy's sidekick.  Not a basketcase.  However, see was comedic relief so I get that.  I still wish Hilary could have been incorporated, but we all know she was not so that Ethan would have more room in the movie so they could make the sequel.  Because John Krasinski would be non-existent in this movie if they stuck to the book, am I right?

I was wondering how they were going to pull off the last "blowout" scene, given Dex didn't take off his watch.  But that whole scene pulled itself together just nicely.

The whole movie pulled together nicely.  The dance scene with Rachel and Darcy reminded us that they were the best of friends with so much history.  The tell-all scene at the end had me ridden with so much anxiety -- and I knew what was coming!  There were several parts of the movie that I was like, "WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN?!? I'M FREAKING OUT HERE!"  But it was hilarious because I have read the books and knew (pretty much) exactly what was going to happen.  So great job to the cast and crew on that one.  It was also fun to be in the theater with patrons who are seeing this story line for the first time.  The gasps going on when Dex kissed Rachel in the cab were hilarious!

I do wish there was a doorman in the movie, because I remember so distinctly in the book how he was constantly observing the relationship between Dex and Rachel, and his presence made the relationship more real as time when on.  I know that sounds weird but just go with me here.

Another thing: how are Ethan and Rachel not 3,000 pounds?  They eat at Shake Shack like every day... 

All in all, I enjoyed the movie.  I teared up.  I gave myself unrealistic expectations about my love life and now I'm on a quest to find a good looking lawyer who only wears Banana Republic.  And maybe a summer fling.  Who knows.  

Most of all, I am so happy for Emily Giffin!  As with another who aspires to write a book, it must be so gratifying to see your characters go from the pages of your book to live-action.  Congratulations Emily. :)

Your Biggest Mistake

I was recently introduced to Ellie Goulding due to the Royal Wedding.  Wish I was acquainted with her before, but unfortunately I had only heard of her after Kate and Wills had her perform at their reception.

Anyway, one of my favorite tracks off the album is "Your Biggest Mistake."  This song got me thinking about my biggest mistake(s) in life.  You know, those things we wish we would have or wouldn't have done?  The things that make us cringe to think about?  We all have them.  

Mine would be not listening to my parents and dating that guy I dated in high school because we all knew he was trouble.  Or putting up with that one guy I dated sophomore year because he was a terror (and all my friends told me to kick him to the curb).  Or that one thing I said last year to a person that I care about, out of anger and hurt.  By the way, if you're reading this, I've said I'm sorry a million times and that incident plagues me.  You didn't deserve that, I didn't mean it, and I care about you too much to say something that is hurtful like that.  So even though you've accepted the apology and we haven't spoken in awhile, for the thousandth time, I'm sincerely sorry.

Yes people, I am not a saint.  I wish I was perfect, but that I am not...

That's the things about mistakes.  You can't take them back.  They're there FOREVER.  Ugh.  Makes me sick just thinking about it.  But one thing I'm learning is that you don't have to dwell on the things you said or did.  You need to move forward and learn from them, and be sure not to do them again.  Apologize and mean it, and more importantly, improve upon those things from your past.  

Sometimes the Devil is a taboo subject, but I fully believe that when you are your happiest and living your best life that the Devil will come out of left field and remind you of those things from your past.  And it sucks.  Don't let him put a kink in your progress and happiness.  You are allowed to move on, change and leave behind mistakes.  You're entitled to happiness even though you're not perfect.  Jesus symbolizes that for us; because he died, we are freed from our sins.  

So, in reality, mistakes shape our character.  Better yet, mistakes guide us on our path, and sometimes things we might think are mistakes aren't mistakes at all.  I know I've wondered a time or 20 if I'm making a mistake, because at the time, the choices I made hurt, caused my heartbreak or anxiety.  But when I look back at some of those choices, I realize they were not mistakes at all.  It was the Devil causing self-doubt in my God-given path.

Mistakes teach us. You can bet that I'll never date a guy that my parents don't approve of again.  Or date someone who calls me names or treats me with disrespect -- I can see the warning signs ahead of time.  And you can bet 100% that I will never, ever, say anything when I am hurting or going through something painful, because chances are I'll say something I regret and don't mean.  

The point is that mistakes are not meant to be burdens that loom over your head 24/7, 365 days a year.  If you recognize them, make a point to make things right and move forward. That's the best thing you can do.  I also encourage you to forgive and forget when it comes to others' mistakes.  Yes, forget.  Don't hold it against them.  I'm not saying to let someone take advantage and disrespect you, but if you love somebody and they've made errors in the past, let them grow and move forward.  Chances are if they love you, they're being taunted by those errors in their mind, and the last thing they need is someone reinforcing them.  

Also, if you're Christian like me, you know that God knows everything before it happens.  He knows your path.  He knows the words that will come from your mouth, the next move you'll make, everything.    Nothing is a surprise to him.  It's all a part of His plan for you.

So really, your biggest mistakes are, in fact, not even mistakes at all. Powered by Blogger.
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