May 18, 2011

The Big O

Well, since it's not happening, I guess it doesn't matter that I let the cat out of the bag.

click to enlarge

A few weeks ago, I was checking my Statcounter and noticed that HARPO had been reading my blog. For someone who loves Oprah maybe a tad too much, this was huge for me. I was having a literal freak out, losing my wits, the whole nine yards.

No, I don't think it meant that Oprah was the one reading my blog. But it meant that someone at HARPO found me, and I was pretty sure I knew why.

Everyone at my office thinks I'm nuts because I wrote about three letters to Oprah a month. I would submit myself and people I care about for a HARPO Hookup on the reg: I submitted my mom last October in hopes we could put on a huge celebrity Halloween party and get Better Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy to come and perform "I Put a Spell On You" from Hocus Pocus. I submitted my mother's friend's daughter, Macey, who might be the biggest Bieber fan ever, in hopes Oprah would send Macey to a concert and perhaps even be selected as his "One Less Lonely Girl" during the show. (Didn't happen, sorry Mace!) I submitted myself countlessly: "Take Kirbie to Work Day" where Oprah would let me follow her around for a day and see what her job was really like.  Uber creepy, I know. I submitted myself for an *NSYNC reunion so that they boys would reunite and I could perform Tearin' Up My Heart (or, my personal fav) I Want You Back with them, since I know all the choreography. I submitted Seer Outfitters since Kyle Korver now plays for ChiTown, I submitted almost anyone and everyone I could think of who needed a hookup. To no avail, obviously.

Then at the end of March I submitted for the topic, "Who is your style icon?"  I wrote this long pitch about how I love, love, love Carrie Underwood, and how, as a 24-year-old woman, she is someone that has kept me inspired, that style isn't about the clothes you wear but how you treat yourself and how you carry yourself, and how Carrie's story and music have helped me through heartbreak and rejection. So pathetic but it's true.  This is my life.

So guess what? I can share because now the whole shabang has come to an end and no privacy is to be had... but I GOT AN EMAIL from one of the producers. We all know Oprah is over, so I would post the thing on here, but I still am fearful that the Oprah gods will come after me for privacy invasion. And I ain't about to piss off Oprah. But they wrote me back letting me know they were considering me and to send photos. I never heard back, as it was very preliminary, and they're obviously taping the last shows right now, but how cool would it have been if I got to meet Carrie Underwood and Oprah on TV?

Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Maybe there's a time for me and the Oprah Winfrey Network.

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