May 30, 2011

I want it all

Today I was walking through HEB in good ol' Georgetown, Texas, and for a split second I considered giving up my dreams, moving home and becoming a wife.

Of course, that was only for a split second :) My hunger in LA has not been satiated! But you know what? I know one day I will be so blissfully happy to leave the City of Angels, and to move, wherever, to be a wife and mom. (God knows I'm not raising the kids in LA.)

As I was checking out, I saw Kim Kardashian's People cover and couldn't resist the $3.99 purchase. I love magazines and I hope they will always be around. But I'm also deeply fascinated with Kim and her family. I can hear the comments already, but I really, truly like the Kardashians. Khloe can be hateful to her mom, Mrs. Jenner can be borderline psychotic when it comes to the family business, I still don't know what Kourtney is doing with Scott, or how Bruce handles it all, but I root for them. I like them. I like that they put the emphasis on family. I like that Kim could have sat around and done nothing with her life, given the whole family is financially blessed, but instead worked to make her own money. And, what most people knock her for -- "Being famous for nothing" -- I actually give her credit for.

She might not be a singer, an actress, or have a college degree. But she's famous because of her family (entertaining as hell) and her beauty. Models are famous because -- you guessed it! -- they're beautiful. So is Kim. Sue her. She also has a big heiny. This is something I applaud. Thanks to people like her and Jennifer Lopez, I don't feel wildly insecure about my behind, as I was in high school and a portion of my college years.

And while the family may be everywhere, overexposed, whatever, at least they're working. Kim wanted a fragrance, and she made it happen. I can tell you if I had endorsement offers coming at me right and left, I wouldn't pass them up either. She'd be ludicrous not to. Furthermore, Kim knows she's not going to win an Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy. She knows where she stands and she uses it to her advantage. I can't knock anyone for that.

So needless to say, I am slightly obsessed that she is getting married to Kris Humphries. Actually, I am ecstatic for her. Because here's the deal: I have ambition, I have goals, I have dreams, but a few months ago I was literally living in delusion-land, and I convinced myself I was probably going to have to force my way through life without a partner because I want to essentially rule the world. Yes, I'm picking up on the Carrie Bradshaw dramatics. Don't recommend it at all. But anyway, now that Kim has found a man and he's even willing to marry her? You can have it all! And that is what I believed before I moved to LA and got sucked up in insecurity-ville that the city tends to lay on you upon arrival. I know I shouldn't be placing my life path on whether or not Kim Kardashian gets married or not, but let's face it, my hero Oprah isn't married (by choice, I think) and I want her career to a T. So I always assumed that while I'd want to have a husband, it probably wouldn't end up that way (and it still might not).

But then Carrie Underwood got married and I'm like, "Well, maybe you can have it all!" Reconfirming my initial thinking. And then Kim got engaged so I'm hell-bent that, as a woman, you can have the flourishing career and the love of your life, but it depends on the type of man he is.

Last night, I had dinner with my 8th grade cheerleading sponsor (Mrs. Destefano) and she told me that I need to have a relationship, much like the Bible says, that is perfectly yoked. I need to find an equal, not a lesser, not someone I feel inferior to either. And I already knew that, but what's more important is that she explained finding someone who I can communicate to about my faith and God with is essential. Which, again, I already knew, but having mentors guide you in matters of the heart always helps, you know?

I know some of you think that I'm preachy when it comes to my spiritual posts, but I can assure you I am not trying to be. I just hope that by expressing some of the things I've experience or gone through, that one person will be touched by God's movement in my life, and realize He can move in their life as well. Zachary Levi (from Chuck) said this quote and I have it printed and hanging on my wall:

"The atmosphere in Hollywood in general is very anti-conservative, very anti-Christian. The liberal segment of Hollywood, which is 80 percent of it if not more, they look at Christians as hypocrites that are false and fake. The tough part is that in many cases I can’t argue with them. My job on my set, I believe, is to first just love people and gain that trust with people where they know that I really do love them and care about their well-being, so that when they are running into problems, they will hopefully, at some point, come to me and ask me, “What is your peace all about? What is your comfort all about? Where do you get your love? Where do you get your talents? And I can turn to them and say without blinking, “Jesus Christ.”
I have never seen an episode of Chuck (sorry! I hear it's a great show though), but this one quote has impacted my life. As excited as I get about God, I know me blogging about Him isn't going to change people's thinking.

So, what am I trying to say here? Since we've gone from the Kardashians to Christ and everywhere in between, I guess I think I'm trying to get at that God can make it all happen. I believe God has a divine plan for my life. Moreso, in the past few days, I've seen God's plan working tremendously for some of my very talented friends: Cole and Jerren, just to name a few.

I'm sure a lot of you are going to read this and say, "So Kirbie thinks that you can leak a sex tape, get famous and end up with a 20.5 carot engagement ring. What a gal." or "Kirbie thinks Kim Kardashian is godly or something?" Listen, I don't condone sex tapes. But really, I don't think Kim wanted that tape to leak. I don't even think Paris Hilton wanted hers to leak (laugh it up). Come on, people, who enjoys watching themselves have sex? Think about it. It makes me cringe to fathom the thought. I would take a knife to my neck (if I was idiotic enough) to make a sex tape and have it leak all over the world. And sure, Kim's mom did negotiate, and she received a lump sum of money for the tape... but if I were in the same situation and there was no way around it coming out? I'd do the same thing. Sue me. It would be my body everyone is watching after all... not like I should really be discussing sex tape "state of emergency" plans on here, but it is my blog, so when in Rome... I mean, I can't exactly specify what the heck I'd do in that situation. But if God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it. Or in this case, if an ex-boyfriend releases a sex tape, God will get you through it.

Basically, aside from the non-existant sex tape tizzy I got myself into, I don't think women should be relegated to choose what's more important: a career or a family. I think both are attainable, as long as the family's priorities always top career needs.

You can have it all! Don't limit yourself based on the status quo. I think that's an important point to emphasize for women my age. Congrats Kim and Kris... not like I know either of you, but I'm (selfishily) hoping for a reality TV version of the wedding.

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