Jun 27, 2011

Not a good look: holding on when you need to let go

Not a good look is going to spawn from The Bachelorette every week from now end of the season. Sorry about that. It's just too much amazing material to resist. By the way, if you didn't watch, this is not going to make a lot of sense. Sorry in advance.

I can barely even deal with this episode right now. I just can't. 

"Bentley left it at a dot dot dot... that usually means 'to be continued.'" - Ashley

I don't know if it's because I find Ashley pathetic given the situation, or that I've actually been in that situation, and in turn I feel pathetic myself, but my gag reflex has been in full force the past two hours. Woof.

Let's start from the beginning: ENTER CHRIS HARRISON. UNCLE CHRIS!!!!!!!! I'd like to believe he has great intentions, but he knows all the shennanery going on behind the scenes and STILL doesn't let Ashley in on the big, fat joke. 

So, here we go. Bentley's back, bitches. "He's in the hotel right now." 


Oh gosh. This makes me literally sick to my stomach. Like, vomit-inducing. Basically, Bentley has this free trip to Hong Kong and he doesn't give an eff about anyone, and Ashley is anxious as all hell. Ladies, we all know that feeling. Similar to the anxiousness of getting a phone call but at the same time absolutely dreading it. Or seeing your ex-boyfriend at the grocery store or the local bar. 

I'm pretty sure Ashley's hormones are all out of whack because she hasn't eaten a damn thing since filming started.

Here's her logic: she needs to talk with Bentley because she might be keeping herself from a great relationship without his "closure." Sick and twisted logic there, Ash. Just kick him to the curb. The man left you! That's closure enough. (Hello, pot...)

OH MY GENTLE. I really can't handle this. 

"If it doesn't work out with other guys, come to Salt Lake," says Bentley. 

Uh, what?!!!! If you wanted to be with her, Benzo, you would be. (Except you don't. We all know this.)

Holy crap. I just had a come to Jesus moment with this episode. Seriously. Like, legs crossed, on the floor, hands clasped, come to Jesus moment of a lifetime. Why would any women subject herself to this bullcrap?

"Sometimes in life you need to be a man and admit that. Admit that it's a period. Say what it is. Admit it's done and over."

Ohhhhh Ashley. I feel for you, girlfriend. I really do. When you're sitting there hanging by a thread, waiting for what's coming next. It's hard. But the fact of the matter is that he was never going to say it was a "period" or not. You needed to wear the pants and stick a fork in it yourself.

And I can't get past the fact that at every confessional, Ashley keeps talking about how she's so happy she got closure with Bentley. Because it would have been so hard to have fun with these guys if she wasn't over Bentley. And now that she's finally over Bentley and got closure, she can look forward to finding love with someone in the group that isn't Bentley. Because they're all in Thailand and SHE'S OVER BENTLEY.

I have a rule of thumb. If I go on a date with a guy and he brings up his ex-girlfriend, or if I ask him about a past relationship and he can't stop talking about the breakup... he's not over her or the relationship. Same with me. If I go on a date and I find myself unable to unemotionally speak about a past relationship, I shouldn't be on the date in the first place. Ashley won't stop talking about Bentley... it's clear that she is not over him, and hasn't gotten closure.


Holding on to the past is not a good look. I can't judge because, let's face it, I'm a normal 24-year-old. I've been so caught up in relationships and love and have been blinded, starry eyed, the whole nine yards. I don't blame Ashley for her feelings regarding Bentley, but I think it's terrifying how absolutely off someone can be about another person.  I mean, she was falling for this schmuck, who, on national television, told the world he didn't find her attractive, didn't want to be with her, and was going to make her cry. And then, even after he ditched her, SHE SPENT TWO WEEKS sitting and sulking and thinking about him! 

We've all been through it, or will go through it. But just remember how you visualize other women when they hang on to men they shouldn't be with. We see those women in a different light. It's sad. Don't be the person other people pity.

Grab your confidence by the balls and have faith that God will place the right person in your life at the right time. If someone left your life, they'll walk back in it if it's meant to be. Don't try to play God or control the outcome, or worse, dwell on what was or what could have been. Keep the faith. Don't be an Ashley. 

That's enough. I can't deal with this any longer. Woof. I need an Advil and a stiff cocktail after enduring all of that. 

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