Jun 7, 2011

Things Every Woman Should Know, Part I

I figure at the ripe age of 24, I've learned a thing or two. I'm not here to preach, but all women should know (at least most of) the following. Do you agree?

1. What side the gas tank is on
My boss sent out this email with various office housekeeping issues, and at the end included a bit about how we can tell what side the gas tank is on. Do you know how to tell? No, not by looking at the car before you get in.  The direction of the arrow by your gas tank gauge let's you know!  This is amazing to me. I never paid attention to this, and I don't think a lot of women in the office knew either. It definitely will help with rental cars!

2. How to pronounce Veuve Cliquot
Nothing more embarrassing when you're out to dinner and want to order some and can't pronounce it... especially if you're not buying. I'm not running around buying bottles of Veuve Cliquot every Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday, but it's useful info. Sounds like: Verve Klee Koh (rhymes with: nerve glee dough)

3. Sports time tables
Somehow my intro to this point was deleted? But the jist of it was that there's nothing more cringeworthy than the chick at the baseball game going, "What quarter are we in?" Ditzy works sometimes, just not at the game, princess.

  • Baseball - nine innings
  • Basketball - four periods (or quarters, but for NCAA it's two halves)
  • Football - four quarters
  • Soccer - two halves
4. How to troubleshoot a computer, change a toner cartridge
People are constantly amazed at work when I change a large printer toner, the imaging unit, the transfer roller, or what-have-you. It's really not that hard, but it's difficult to explain on here. Just ask someone in IT to help you and then you won't have to be helpless when your office printer runs out of magenta ink. Same goes for your computer -- if it malfunctions, always Control + Alt + Delete first, and if that doesn't help, restart before going ape sh*t. It work with IT a lot and I always watch them cringe when some lazy chick comes up and asks them to fix her computer when it's as easy as turning it off and then back on. It's the smallest thing to know but when you do it for yourself people kind of flip a shiz.

5. How to wear a perfect red lip
There is a method to the red lip madness. And while I find that more immature guys don't get it, the more refined (read: older) dudes dig it. And hell, maybe you just want to wear a red lip sometime. Lauren Conrad's makeup artist gives perfect how-to instructions that work like a charm.

6. How to get a stain out of clothes
Sure, we know whites can be bleached, but it's important to know what's what when it comes to stains. If you spill on your favorite outfit, try to find club soda or some kind of fizzy soda to help get most of the color out immediately. I don't recommend Sprite, however (that was an unhappy ending for my precious cocktail dress). Then, keep your Tide Pen or towelette handy and go over it a few times before going home to remove. I have this OxyClean gel that I dip an old toothbrush in (of course I'll never use it again) and lightly scrub the area, and then of course wash it. I do this as much as possible to get the stain out and frankly, it works. Don't leave stain removal up to the dry cleaner!

7. How to make a signature cocktail... or something
Every woman deserves to have a little something-something to whip up at a party, gathering, whatever, for people to remember them by. I, of course, have my Ciroc Obama, and my mother makes this amazing punch that I claim as my own and take to any BBQ or gathering I can find. This goes without saying, but have a go-to dish as well, whether it's pasta primavera or BBQ chicken nachos. It's all about being well rounded, people!

Ciroc Obama
Serving Size: 1 cocktail

3 oz. Ciroc Coconut (if you like it strong)
Sprite or Soda water (throw in however much)
Splash of pineapple OR watermelon juice (my new fave)

Pour Ciroc and Sprite/Soda water into a cocktail shaker with ice, shake, pour into glass. Spritz in some pineapple juice and garnish with watermelon wedge. Tah-dah!

Mom's Trash Can Punch (she never made it in a trash can, however I have. It was sanitary, thank you. And it included alcohol... and you couldn't tell. Amazing.)
Serving Size: A giant Gatorade cooler... like the ones the players dump on the coach after they win the Superbowl. I've found this to be a more effective way of getting the punch instead of out of a trash can. Thank you, trusty dispenser nozzle!

1 bottle of Strawberry Cola
2 bottles of Orange Cola (or vice versa)
3 oranges or grapefruit, sliced
4 limes, sliced
4 lemons, slices
2 boxes of strawberries, cut into halves

Pour everything into the giant Gatorade cooler and let sit. Throw in some vodka if you like. Enjoy. 

Stay tuned for more things we should all know, and feel free to comment and add some of your own!

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