Jul 6, 2011

KIRBIE'S FORMAL PETITION TO REQUEST AN *NSYNC REUNION

I'm just going to go ahead step up to the plate.

*NSYNC needs to have a reunion and it needs to be post-haste. I've heard "Quit Playing Games with My Heart" six times in the past three days, which has to be a sign or something, right? The Backstreet Bacteria are implanting themselves in my brain, taunting me that they have a reunion tour with NKOTB, while the real NUMBER ONE BOY BAND IN ALL OF THE LAND refuses to make a comeback? Is this real life?

Let's be honest: this thing isn't coming together for one reason. And we all know why. Justin, push your pride to the side. We get it, you're busy making movies and taking over social networks (and rekindling things with your ex-girlfriend, apparently), but how is it that your fans, your real, die-hard fans, go and buy 2.42 MILLION albums in one week, setting a one-week sales record that still stands today no less, and you refuse us a reunion tour? What's the matter with you boy?!



I wonder if we start an online petition if we could get Ellen in on this and perhaps make it some viral sensation. I can see it now: the petition begins on my site, Ellen sees it, calls and invites me on the show, I meet with JT, show him my sweet, sweet choreography (I still remember all the moves), and then he announces *NSYNC is coming back, ya'll! And finally asks me to go on tour and blog about it.

Sounds about right.

Reasons why *NSYNC needs to get their anuses back on tour:

  • 2.42 million album sales record. Enough said. I bought two copies, just FYI.
  • True story: I permed my hair so it would be curly like Justin's in 8th grade, because I wanted to have something in common with him. I am not proud of this. Why I'm admitting in on a public forum such as this rather mind boggling.
  • After perming my hair, I went to cheer camp and proceeded to wear a bedazzled bandana the entire time... because Justin wore one during the No Strings Attached tour. Is it clear why I didn't have a boyfriend during this phase of my life? 
  • I'm pretty sure that I have a few boxes out in our shed at home dedicated to all my *NSYNC crap: signs, posters, videos upon videos of recording appearances and performances, bobbleheads and dolls... these could be collectors items. HELP ME OUT. 
  • Not a reason to go on tour, but I'm slightly mortified to be realizing all of this.
  • We all know the rest of the dudes would be up for it. I'm sure a few of them could use a job at this point.
  • Lance has come out as gay since the final tour. Do you understand how much more fun it will be with more of a gay fanbase? Hello please?
  • The original *NSYNC fan is now approximately between the age of 23-28, so they could all technically sleep with groupies and not get arrested.
  • ... not to mention a majority of us are of drinking age, and (big bonus) we all have hit puberty. No more flat-chested & braces-infested meet and greets!
  • I'm not one to talk trash, but I went to a Backstreet Boys concert once and it was a total snoozefest. Theatricality? None whatsoever. Flashback performances including The Jackson 5? Negative. (It scares me how much I remember from all of those concerts.)
  • 2.42 MILLION ALBUMS. I really don't know how much we have to do to get some respect around here. 

OMG. Justin is wearing an f-ing top hat. A TOP HAT. And they're doing the little marionette dance!!!!!! Sadly, I tried finding that intro on Napster before my dad demanded I delete the program (don't pirate music, people). The bedazzled bandana rears it's ugly head yet again. This brings back so many childhood memories, they just have to go back on tour! Can you imagine watching this drunk? Seriously. Probably the best thing ever.


Who can forget this? I bought a black studded bikini in 7th grade, and would wear the top and black leather pants in my room and dance around, pretending to be Britney. Who didn't pretend to be her? Look at her! Also, can we reflect for a second? What happened to TJ, Britney's notorious backup dancer? We all remember him from the "Sometimes" video... and he was like a staple on her tours. 
I slipped and bruised my leg pretty bad trying to perform those dance moves on my desk... for the love. I wonder how my parents didn't think I was complete loser. "Honey, whatcha doing?" "Oh, just recording the VMAs so I can perform all the dance moves later." 


I couldn't NOT post this one. This is as good as it got for the MTV Video Music Awards -- same year Brit Brit did her "Oops/I Can't Get No..." performance. For a second I was like, "When in 8th grade did I perform at the VMAs?" I sh*t you not, JT & I could have been identical twins at that point. Minus the fact I had (have) boobs. 
The choreography gets me every time!!! This was during their "bad" phase when they wanted to start being seen as mature men, so they freak danced with women and looked at girls' breasts and said things like "damn" and "pissed off" in songs. (Jennifer: remember when we realized they were singing "I'm about to get pissed off" and flipped our lids?!!!!)

I'm not alone. Read the bloody comments below the videos. The people have spoken!

After I wrote this blog and posted it the first time, this is the conversation I had with my mom (legitimately) at 11:15 PST:

"Kirb, you're like, all manic about this *NSYNC reunion."
"I'm not manic! I just want a comeback tour..."
"Oh my god. Seriously, people are going to think you're manic."
"Mom, everyone that reads knows it's all tongue-in-cheek humor. It's funny! Like 'Haha... but seriously, have a comeback.' I can see it now. Ellen calls me on the show ---"
(laughter) "Uh, honey, it's quite possible I have failed as a mother."
"Why, because you taught me that anything is possible?"
"Yes, I took it too far with the 'anything is possible' crap."
"Mom! You're NOT supposed to say that! Plus, you would love an *NSYNC reunion!"
"Yes, I would. I would go ape-sh*t crazy if they did. I'd drive from here to Zamboanga to see them, and we'd take so many pictures... we'd have to build another shed for all the stuff. By the way, I need to go out there and see what crap I can put on the internet and sell."
"None of it's going to be worth anything unless they go on a reunion tour."
"I know right? Can't you get on that?"
"THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO!"

So, I hope you guys get it. I'm a normal 24-year-old with an undying love for boys who dance and wear rhinestones  a total normal. natural affection for her childhood and the boy band that took up most of it. It's all about the memories, people! I mean, so many people stay in crappy relationships for the "what was," not the "what is." Same type of thing here. 

Alright. Let's see how this goes. Fans, push your pride aside and comment below this post if you want to petition to get *NSYNC back on tour. I'm going to write in to Ellen in hopes of a reunion. Stay positive, my friends.

Bye bye bye,
Kirbie

2 comments:

giabermie said...

I totally support this petition! I have to admit that I did the same thing. I would record all of the NSync and Britney Spears performances and learn them. I also have a chest (or two) full of Nsync stuff. You are not alone!

Jacob Andrew Sosa said...

And I also support this petition too *NSYNC fans. We all miss *NSYNC
and want them to reunite and soon perform again for reals because we
miss them so much. For 9 years now
we couldn't see them since their
2002 break up you know. And we're
all dying to see an *NSYNC reunion
and so am I too. So please reunite
again *NSYNC because we love you
guys and WE WANT YOU BACK!!!

Do it for Michael Jackson The King
Of Pop.

KirbieGoestoHollywood.com. Powered by Blogger.
Designed By Boutique-Website-Design