Sep 13, 2011

Will you go out with me?

Kind of forward, I guess...

It's that time of year! Fall. Well, not technically, but it's vastly approaching. I love fall and all that comes with it -- football, Halloween (and other holidays); I would include cooler weather and rainy Sundays on the couch, but here in Los Angeles we keep it anti-climatical (puns!!!) at an average of 73 throughout the year. Whoop.

Anyway, while I'm wishing, hoping and praying for some fall and winter weather, I decided to bring back the menswear posts I started last year. Fall is incredibly romantic to me. The seasons changing (minus LA), cuddling, cider, campfires; trips to the mountains and crisp football games outside. Let's be honest, is anything sexier than football? (I could hear the ladies' complaints as I wrote that...)

 Most of you know that I was a stylist exclusively for men for awhile, in addition to my 1,000 other jobs. I'm essentially the poor man's Ryan Seacrest. My job was to make men feel confident in what they were wearing, no matter the occasion: business, personal, and most importantly, during dates. I'd also help them pick outfits that worked for their size and personality.

While I'm sure the men valued my expert opinion on skinny jeans vs. bootcut, I'm fairly positive that they were more interested in having a woman tell them "You look hot!" and "That's frumpy."

I actually enjoy shopping for men's clothes more than women's. I get really flustered when I think about what I need to buy for myself... probably because I want a ton of things, but the ol' bank account can't support it. My favorite thing to do is take my brother shopping because he might complain the whole way there, however, once I grab a few things and tell him to try them on, he ends up liking everything. Too bad I have expensive taste. The kid is screwed.

Here's my mantra for men and shopping: Don't try to be someone your not. It's a perfect slogan for dating, and it works well with clothes. There's nothing more bizarre than seeing one of my guy friends trying to pull off a fashion statement that doesn't suit them, just because it's "in style." Just because you saw someone wearing skinny jeans and thick-framed glasses doesn't mean you should, too. I'm talking to you, Justin Timberlake. Actually, I have to ask -- are those glasses prescribed? Does he actually need them? I am dying to know. And frankly I don't mind the glasses if his hair is grown out, it's just when he shaves his head he looks like a giant penis... with glasses. Furthermore, please, just end the ongoing relationship with the Fedora. It's dead. Cut all ties and stop returning the phone calls, JT. I BEG OF YOU.

Anyway, these looks aren't an attempt to be fashion forward. Frankly, I don't know a lot of men who are trying to be on the cutting edge of fashion. Men I know like to hang out with the dudes and watch football in excess (I don't mind), get blackout drunk half the time (I do mind), and aren't really worried about if the jeans they're wearing were last season, or if the coat they're sporting is 17,000 years old. In fact, most men I know don't understand that they have to get a suit tailored. Perhaps they do know, but think they can get away with the suits they buy in the store. Unless you're a mannequin, you're not going to look good in a suit right off the rack. Get the slacks hemmed, make sure your suit coat fits. It's like that epic scene in Crazy Stupid Love: "You're wearing a 44 when you should be wearing a 42 Regular." And how.
Futhermore, the men that I do know who are fashion forward? They're not coming to me for style advice.

SO! What do I have in store for you guys this lovely autumn season? Lots of plaids and argyle (classic), dark wash jeans (necessary), and some cool shoes. Or so I think anyway. I'll have a few of these posts throughout the season... hopefully it will inspire some of you men and your wardrobe choices. After all, didn't you hear that meanswear sales are booming this quarter?

Datewear for men: A casual romance

Datewear for Men






  • Any of these pieces are eligible for "Most perfect dating attire," because a) they're comfortable, b) you won't need a jacket with anything, and c) look good. Plaids are my absolute favorite, being that they're "All-American" in my opinion. If a guy is picking me up in plaid, he looks put-together without trying too hard, which is always sexy.
  • Guys, lose the light wash jeans. They rarely go with anything, except a white Hanes v-neck, and they're way more casual than you probably expect. Again, they might work with a few key items, but don't throw them on with every shirt you own. Find yourself a solid, dark-wash pair to tide you over through the autum and winter months.
  • So -- these Converse Slim Plimsolls are leather! Cool right? Most guys I know go for the standard Chuck Taylors, but these dress up any outfit just enough.
  • The boots, by Stacy Adams, could possibly be women's shoes, but go with it. Find yourself a neutral pair that are similar(and are made for men) and wear them to work or for a night out.
  • Jeans are Diesel, which I find they fit men well; shirts courtesy of Banana Republic, sweaters via JCrew and Old Navy. I'm not trying to break the bank on you guys.
  • Also, since I am a beauty writer, I have to include some facial products! Jack Black is a great line designed exclusively for men and is sold in Sephora stores. They have a great shaving cream that hydrates, which is key to dry fall and winter months. Their Double Duty Face Moisturizer SPF 20 is meant to be used after your shave to keep your skin supple, without looking greasy. It's also perfect for daily use. I know some of you could care less about your skin, but when your skin isn't itchy and flakey this fall, you'll thank me.
Lastly, do yourself a favor and buy yourself some Saxx. I'm serious. I cannot deal with seeing any more men pick their balls all the live long day. Just buy a pair and stop grabbing your sack.

Do you have any comments or suggestions? Let me know. kirbiej@gmail.com
  


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