Oct 31, 2011

The day Kim Kardashian stole Halloween

I guess I should recall a blog post I wrote about Kim and Kris getting married a few months ago...

If you read it, I defend Kim, and now I feel like a complete idiot. I've been had. Unfortunately, many people will still feel bad for the Kardashians, but I'm rather disgusted with this entire display.

"Kim Kardashian divorces Kris Humphries after 72 days." That headline makes me sick. Mostly because we all immersed ourselves in Kim finally having her fairytale wedding and finding true love, but also because how this headline is written -- "Kim divorces Kris."

It takes two to tango. This is what pissed me off most about the wedding. It was "Kim's Fairytale Wedding" with no mention of Kris. I get it, it's the Kardashian's show, however, if I was marrying the love of my life, I'd be inclined to make the name of our wedding show (God help me) about both of us.

I will tell you why this entire thing was a hoax. I have been working in PR for roughly three years professionally and all of my experience has been here in Hollywood. Coming here bright-eyed and bushy tailed, I've been told plenty of times I am not cut out for it, mostly because I tend to see the bright side of everyone and really empathize with people. (It's hard for me not to feel for Kim in this entire situation.) However, I've learned over the years that where there's smoke, there's usually a building being burned down. I know very good and well that some people can and will make up things for money, specifically tabloids and other degenerates who need 15 minutes of fame, but generally, most things come to fruition, especially when wildly reported.

During the episode when Kim and Kris go to tell the family she is engaged, they're both wearing the exact outfit that they appeared in on the cover of people to announce their engagement to the world. So they went to a photo shoot before telling their family? All the workings of Kris Jenner, I'm sure. I think Mrs. Jenner is trying to keep the family alive and to help secure their future, however, I think she's willing to compromise her children for the love of money, and it's disgusting.

Also, let's talk about the ring: there is NO WAY Kris,  as frugal as they made him out to be, would buy that thing. None. 

And it's obvious this is just a mere PR stunt because of the length of time it took the media to find out about Kim's divorce. I assure you Kris Jenner sent little "bugs" out to the mediasphere, which sparked interest and Kim confirmed herself to a few outlets just a few hours ago. Kim just gave an official statement to E!, saying she took "careful consideration" and that she "had wished this marriage would last forever," but decided to "end her marriage." Notice there is no mention of Kris at all. 

What is depressing is that this was probably all planned out from the get-go. Why the hell would Kim go to a Nets game? (Why would anyone, really?) We've all heard the rumors that E! producers went out looking for a basketball player for Kim to date on the show, and now we can all but confirm that. 

The whole wedding, which can only be depicted so much on television, seemed to be about the spectacle and minimally about the holy matrimony. I don't know any two people who announce they're going to "scream at" each other or "cut" one another during the rehearsal dinner. Not one. It seemed like a mess from the start: Kim won't give up her lifestyle, Kris is a country bumpkin with no filter. But given this entire situation, the fights and spats were probably placed in the wedding special purposely so we could all "call" upcoming divorce... 72 days later.

They made close to $18 million off the wedding, which is practically chump change for Kim, so it benefitted Humphries the most. So while everyone feels bad for Kris, I can't help but think that he knew exactly what he was getting into.

Welcome to Hollywood. It's truly disappointing that we all gave into this sh*t show; even more disappointing that it appears the Kardashians have no conscience. Which, by the way, isn't a real surprise, given what I learned about Robert Kardashian Sr. this weekend, which I'll get to tomorrow.

Oct 28, 2011


Need some last minute costume ideas? Check out my Creative Costuming posts and get going!

Also, I found this amusing: my roommate and I, who didn't know each other back then, had pretty much identical Lady Gaga costumes in 2009. Yeah, we pride ourselves on being Gaga before legions of others were in 2010. :)

Also, check out my other Halloween posts! Or, click any of the labels (below) for more inspiration!

Oct 24, 2011

Naked stuff

First of all, this is truly disturbing:

Unfortunately for this pervert, who is completely unaware of my Nancy Drew skills, I know how to locate exactly who searched this, based on the IP address. What, you think I blog and use social media out the whazoo and don't know how to locate the scum/complete weirdos that are searching for this crap?

I'm pretty used to people looking up "photos of a bedazzled vagina" and even those sickos who are looking up pictures of "pre-teen titties" (because of my post regarding Abercrombie's padded push up bra for seven-year-olds), but this is a whole new low. Given a few weeks ago this same ISP was looking up "Nude photos of Kirbie Goes to Hollywood," I'm even more disturbed. 

Anyway, speaking of nudity, Lindsay Lohan signed a deal for close to $1 million to do a nude spread in Playboy. Given she can't get a real job to save her life, I guess it's a good thing?

I'm curious though, ladies: if you were going to get $1 million, would you pose nude for Playboy? Answer in the poll to the right in the sidebar.

You wanna go where everybody knows your name

TCU Homecoming. I have been avoiding DFW like the plague, at least the past two years, because I have an addictive personality. I listen to the same song on repeat at least 85 times in a row. I tend to stick to the same foods for weeks on end. I knew that if I made it a normal occasion to drop by TCU a few times a year, I'd have a hard time finding a reason not to move back.

I knew going back to Fort Worth would put me back in a college frame of mind. Everything in Texas is cheaper; I'd be in a town I knew inside and out, and mostly, I'd be with my friends.

Nobody surpasses my friends, in my mind. They are all amazing individuals who, no matter how much time goes by, make me feel like a million dollars. I feel important, and more importantly, loved around them. They treat me much like my family does. It's true that your friends are the family you choose. As you can tell, I tend to put off seeing them sometimes for fear of the emotional distress I will end up going through when I leave them.

There's an array of reasons why I love Texas, and specifically DFW. Friday night after getting picked up from the airport, Kristen and I pretended to be Dallas housewives and did the following:

  • Went to Nordstrom
  • Ate sushi and drank cosmos and margaritas... at 4:30 p.m.
  • Picked up some beauty supplies
  • Took a 30 minute power nap
I went to four different apartments this weekend and I have to say that I am so impressed with my girlfriends. They are legitimate adults. It makes me wonder why I am living in Los Angeles, just based on their homes. They're all immaculate and pretty and girly and fun. And I'm in LA paying three times too much for an apartment that doesn't have near the amount of amenities they do. The grass is always greener...

Anyway, we ended up at Nick & Sam's grill and let me tell you -- if you end up there, DON'T GET THE BLUEBERRY SANGRIA. IT IS AMAZING. YOU WILL HAVE THREE... OR FOUR. Speaking of, shout out to my drivers this weekend. You guys allowed me to do some serious damage to my bank account.

After dinner we ventured Uptown to Idle Rich. Dallas, I was sorely disappointed in the amount of graphic tees I saw out on Friday. Graphic tees aren't cool. Stop wearing them. You look like a douche bag. You also look like you have too much gel in your hair. You also REALLY look like you're trying too hard. For some reason, every person we saw looked like they were related to The Situation, which was really disappointing, given my hopes were up from Nick & Sam's with all the polos and collared shirts.

Not before being forced to drink a Vegas Bomb (I hate Red Bull), we went to The Den where I pretty much don't remember anything except that I asked for a vodka Gimlet, thinking they were going to mash up fresh limes (it's Dallas), ended up drinking Lime Juice out of a bottle with some vodka mixed in. Not a good look for my vocal chords. I sounded like a third generation chain smoker the next day.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I guess we wandered over to BlackFriar for 2.5 seconds before going back to Cait & Meredith's apartment and eating half a cheeseburger at 1:30...


... was miserable. We all woke up at 7:30, then went back to sleep for an hour and around 10:00 Lindsay and I made our way to her apartment in Fort Worth. It's those little "tease naps" that do me in for the day. I need sleep. I didn't get any. I don't drink often and I usually know when to stop drinking, but I guess I threw discretion straight to hell because I felt like I was going to throw up 99% of this entire trip. We ended up missing the Frog5 reunion tailgate and settled for Old Rips and a bunch of frat tailgates at Lot 4, where I ran into my precious Daniel Becker (love you!), sorority sisters and an ex boyfriend. You always wonder what it will be like to run into people you haven't seen in forever and for me it was a generally welcoming and fun experience, not weird or anything. One thing I noticed? All the girls got super hot. They've all lost weight, they're fit and they generally look happy in life. At least the girls I know. It's weird how the guys are starting to look like men. Not that they weren't men in college. But they're all growing facial hair and filling out... it's weird seeing everyone as an adult.

We obviously didn't make it to the game, so we took a nap. Yes. Party foul, but sue me, I was in Hangover City and it wasn't looking good. I had been yapping about going to Gloria's for dinner so myself, Linds, Katie and Knox (by the way -- follow Mary on Twitter, she doesn't filter herself which makes for high comedy: @foxyknoxy09) had ourselves a grand time over black bean dip, chicken tortilla soup and three mojitos. Can you tell this night is already going to be a nightmare?

Fort Worth is great because on 7th you can grab some dinner and walk to the bars. Everyone we knew was headed to Capital Bar, so we paid the $5.00 cover (begrudgingly) and decided to stay there the whole night, which I'm glad we did, because they had an AMAZING live band out on the patio (The Jam Wows). Another thing I miss about Texas -- the spectacular bar atmosphere. Not ridiculous clubs with people trying too hard. Legitimate bars! With patios! And live bands! For $5.00! And if there's a line, it's five minutes! Ah, Fort Worth. You know how to woo a southern woman.

Apparently my drink of choice, after mojitos and vodka gimlets, are shots? Kamakazies? Yeah. Not my wisest of choices. I remember actually using shots to bribe people to stay until bar close. "GUYS! I HAVEN'T STAYED UNTIL BAR CLOSE IN FOREVER! I WILL BUY US ALL SHOTS!" Kill me now... you all should have heard my voice Sunday morning after basically taking a knife to my throat with the limes and lemons. Woof.

So after living like I'm going to die tomorrow (actually, I really felt like I was on my death bed) (I'm invincible... or so I thought), Lindsey pries me away from a rather questionable situation and we head to Fuzzy's for some late night, but only after Mary tried to convince her to leave Katie in the back seat, passed out.

"Just leave her there! Just crack the windows. She can stay in here for like five hours. We do it all the time!"

I'm glad Mary confused her close friend with her dog... by the way, that's animal cruelty, Mare. Just saying.

Sunday ended on a good note. We peeled ourselves out of bed and made it to Blue Mesa's brunch, the holy grail of brunches. Everything in Fort Worth is so convenient and clean. And fun.

It's hard not to go back to a place you called 'home' for four years and not get a little misty eyed. All of these memories and emotions instantly flooded back into my mind. The people I spent my time with, my daily routines, studying at Starbucks on Sundays; how Fort Worth looked and felt in the winter, the excitement of seeing friends after coming back from summer vacation, recruitment, mixers, new dates and breakups. Everywhere I went, some kind of memory was attached to it. Good or bad, I'm glad I had it, especially in Fort Worth.

Photo time!

Our recent DIY manis. Kristen is Caucasian. Anything is possible, ladies!

Close up -- Love the Sally Hansen stick-ons!

Bake me a cake.

We forgot to do our signature photo pose!!!!

little bit

Dallas: So trendy right now

Mary Knox was right: "Georgetown breeds beautiful people."

My iPhone camera was doing a craptastic job at focusing. The BLUU


The Jam Wows

Rest in Peace, Margarita Glasses.

Standard "Knox's head on my bossom" pose.

bahaha for the love

Before Katie was going to be treated like a dog

Best. Brunch. Ever.

Oct 20, 2011

Today on "Shut the hell up"

I need to get some things off my chest, so unfortunately you people are going to have to read a full-on rant. By choice. You can navigate to another website if you wish, so I don't feel too bad about dishing it out right here and now.

You know what needs to be abolished? If you read my tweets, you know. WHISTLING. What is the point, really? It's a nuisance. A bloody irritation from hell. (That sounds more like a bowel movement, doesn't it?) The worst is when people do it in public, like at work, or at the grocery store. You feel compelled to sing, outloud (I'll get to that in a minute), but perhaps you can't sing or feel like singing would in fact be weird, so you decide to bust out the whistling to satisfy your musical needs.

I have news for you. Do not whistle while you work. That is the absolute WORST piece of Disney advice out there, much like beastiality (Beauty and the Beast), eating shrooms (Alice in Wonderland), or running away from home to be with your boyfriend (The Little Mermaid). There is a reason most offices don't usually have music playing, and it's because some styles of music aren't everyone's cup of tea. The grocery store has a stereo system blaring classic 80s for most of your visit. THERE IS NO NEED TO WHISTLE. More than likely, we all have absolutely no idea what song it is anyway -- it's not like whistling has a vocal range -- and we all want to smack you.

If you whistle, you are selfish. The end. Whistle in the car. Whistle in the shower. Whistle anywhere that isn't in public.

Furthermore, please don't take it a step further and sing. Are you an artist about to jump on stage and perform for adoring fans? Then there's no reason why you should be beatboxing and/or doing runs in the hall while waiting for the elevator. We get it: you have God's gift inside you. But much like an athlete doesn't go into a coffee shop and start practicing his fastball or jumpshot, you need to lock it up and refrain from belting out "How Do I Live Without You" while waiting in line for your chai latte.

Are you on Glee? If so, great. If not, stop singing Journey in the ladies room. Even if you are on Glee, unless you're about to perform for Barack Obama and/or are on set at the Paramount lot, it is sincerely FROWNED UPON to sing in any form outside of where you should be singing.

It's different if you're, say, a street performer (a la J. Biebs back in the day). But waiting to take an appointment at the office? No. Waiting in line at the movies? Stop. Getting your hair did at the salon? Take a hike.

You not only are annoying everyone around you, but you are making a complete ass out of yourself. You think you're great enough of a singer than any and everyone wants to hear you sing, at any given time of the day? It's like going into someone else's kitchen and baking because they mentioned one time they liked the cookies you brought to school.

It's not kosher, people. Eradicate mindless whistlers, and please, save the singing for the shower.

Oct 19, 2011

My first feature (!!!!!)

Yes, that required five exclamation points.

I did an interview with Alison Haislip for Bunker Hill Magazine, as the cover story. Yeah buddy. You can view the whole thing here.

While I'm not too thrilled with the unjustified margins (I'm OCD about it), I think it's a great piece and am thrilled to have gotten the opportunity. (Thanks, Bradley!) I'm impressed with myself as I came up with the headline, Call of Beauty. Get it? Since she's a gamer? That's a play on words at its best.

Check it out and be sure to tweet about it, because I need a full-time writing job. :)

Oct 18, 2011

Creative Costuming 2011: Tweet, tweet

Saturday I kicked off the Halloween season with a bang by attending the Marble Mansion's (First annual?) Halloween party. Let me explain this place. It's pretty much a glorified frat house, as all males live there, except they take pretty good care of the place so I'll give 'em that.

We all got an invite and then they notified us on Facebook that costumes were "highly encouraged, which is essentially one level below mandatory." Pretty much you better be wearing a costume, are you'll be bludgeoned to death.

I always have an inner monologue when it comes to Halloween. I hate feeling like the ugly duckling while all the other girls are wearing somewhat promiscious costumes, however I feel more uncomfortable when creepster men are (obviously) looking at my T&A in a skimpy outfit. Gag. You can always find a happy medium, but just one step over the line and you'll be judged by every woman in the room and labeled a skank. Not the direction I like to go.

If I do dress somewhat risque, I prefer the comedy route. Example? 2009, when I was Lady Gaga. She's pretty much the unsexiest woman alive, but I wore a leotard that left little to the imagination (that Megan Fox ended up wearing on the cover of Rolling Stone -- what a bitch) along with my gloves and wig. Last year I was a USO girl, which while wasn't funny, had me fully clothed.

So this year I was in despair. However, the stakes were high, as they had a Halloween contest going on and I really wanted to win. This is my life. My goals included winning frat party costume contests and daydreaming about Clay Matthews. By the way, have you SEEN his photos from Muscle and Fitness? Good lord. He's built like a brick sh*thouse.

Anyway, I was originally going to go as The BCS Trophy because, like I've said before, "Nothing is Sexier than a National Championship!" -- a great play on words given women take this one day out of the year to expose buttcheeks, cracks and cleavage out the wazoo, but I've never seen a man more hot and bothered than when his team wins a National Championship. It was going to be a relatively easy costume -- make the glass football out of styrofoam, bubble wrap and a headband, then wear some tight dress from American Apparel, and sport a sash reading "National Championship." While the vision was grandiose, I didn't know if the execution was phenonenal enough, and furthermore, worried people wouldn't get it. So I had to nix that whole thing.

So, what should I be? Katy Perry? (I really wanted to buy this outfit.) A biker? Elton John circa 1970?

Then it all became clear. What's one thing I love more than anything else?


And thus the costume was born. I hit up American Vintage and $77.50 later, I had a wig, a feather boa (for the bird) and a Def Leopard tee (just for fun). Then I used a giant Post-It and decided to hand draw the Twitter logo and search bar so people would get the jist. Badda bing, badda boom.

The whole night was a blast! I handed out RT and Follow stickers, and the best part is everyone wanted to write on me, so I got to meet a bunch of fun people. Well, maybe the best part is that I won the entire contest. :) But we'll say meeting new people is a close runner up!

Here's how I made it:

DIY Twitter Costume

(Click the spread to see the items used)

Can't wait to hit up more Halloween festivities the rest of the month.

Have a creative costume idea? Submit! kirbiej@gmail.com

Oct 17, 2011

Witchy woman (and man): witch hazel

Did you know that one of nature's best beauty products comes from a witch? Well, not exactly. It comes from a plant. But we're all thankful for witch hazel given it's antiseptic properties.

You can use it to dry up bacteria on the scalp, remove excess oil, and to soothe chapped skin and eczema on the face! Use it sparingly to prevent and alleviate break outs as well.

I have a few products I think both men and women can benefit from up on my Examiner column!

Oct 13, 2011

Show me those pearly whites

I had noticed this before... Lindsay Lohan's teeth are looking ROUGH. But then this photo comes about and it literally looks like they're all about to fall out of her head. I'm sorry, I know it's harsh, but listen...

Girlfriend used to be a coveted teen actress and is now ranks as the highest celebrity on the "death watch" list, now that Amy Winehouse is gone (Rest in Peace) and Brit Brit has a conservatorship. We've seen this girl fail and fail and FAIL and yet nobody can seem to keep her in a jail cell, or a rehab, where she belongs.

I won't dabble into any more of the trangessions of La Vida Lohan. But one thing we can gain from her? Her publicist's approach.

Here's what he had to say about Lindsay's teeth:

"With everything going on – from deteriorating public education to rampant homelessness to international unrest – there is no way I'm going to comment on Lindsay's teeth," he added.

Valid point, that is, if you weren't an entertainment publicist. Last time I checked, it WAS your job to comment on this crap, especially since she's your client. Or at least provide a "no comment." I mean, before that little gem of a statement, you went on and on about how Lindsay is being asked to do photoshoots all over the world and how glamourous she is.

Which brings me to this:
  • Photoshoots, eh? Last time I checked, she was an actress... but I'll play along like it's normal to keep being photographed as an actress without actually producing anything theatrical
  • Speaking of photoshoots, I hope they have some fabulous retouchers
  • Glamourous? Explain to me how any of this equates to "glamour":
    • Going to rehab countless times
    • Going to jail countless times
    • Having a degenerate for a Dad
    • Having a hot ass mess for a Mom
    • Being broke yet spending money you don't have (who are we kidding, this is 99% of Americans)
The only real glamourous thing Lindsay had left was her mug, and now that's questionable. Her teeth are whack, she looks about 10 years older than she really is, and she's got this weird fat face/skinny body thing going on, which I was 100% sure was bulemia, but my boss informed me it was actually due to doing massive amounts of coke. Or as he calls it, "Coke Bloat." I'll throw in an "allegedly" so I don't get sued, but it's not like I'm the first one in the history of mankind to assume LL has been doing hardcore drugs. I mean... she always managed to have some mysterious white powder up her nose or on her pants and nobody knows where it came from. And the excuses they come up with are priceless. "Uh, Lindsay is a sleepwalker and got into a giant box of powdered donuts last night... at the bar..." "It's weird, Lindsay has this very peculiar disease where white rocks grow off her nosehairs." (Yeah, I made all those up, but really... they're close.)

I know that sounds like jealous-bitchy girl all rolled into one, but trust -- I'm not jealous of Lindsay Lohan's life, and it's the truth.

Like I said though, we can all learn from La Vida. My friend Kari brought this to my attention today over email. Let's start using Linday's publicist's excuse for everything!

"Kirbie. Why were you late to work today?"
"With everything going on – from deteriorating public education to rampant homelessness to international unrest – there is no way I'm going to comment on work obligations."

"Miss Johnson, you why are you urinating in the gutter?
"With everything going on – from deteriorating public education to rampant homelessness to international unrest – there is no way I'm going to comment on my urination habits."

"Kirbie, why did you get drunk enough last Thursday to grab a bottle of chili-infused vinegar and shake it around, lodging it in people's eyeballs?"
"With everything going on – from deteriorating public education to rampant homelessness to international unrest – there is no way I'm going to comment on chili-infused vinegar."

Homegirl is probably headed to the nearest cosmetic dentist she can afford...

Now let's remember the good ol' days!

Oct 12, 2011


Hope you fashionistas and fashion bloggers are ready! I have a contest for everyone soon with some fabulous goodies!

Should be posted tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm going to try not to eat any more Junior Mints.

Oct 10, 2011

If Sunday is God's day, Monday is Satan's Day.

At least that's how I felt yesterday. Work was overbearing. I lost my house key. Don't ask me how, I have no idea where it went or how it left my key ring. The Zumba instructor was not my regular and I really couldn't deal with his rendition of Enrique Iglesias' "I Like It." Then my mom calls me because (allegedly) one of my close friend's mothers had died, according to my brother, when in all ACTUALITY he was reading his friend's Dad's Facebook (they have the same name) and it was the Dad's mother that had passed. Not a winning situation for anyone, but we're all relieved to know it wasn't the person we thought. However, I did a minor sh*t in my pants. And to top it all off, I pretty much choked to death. For real.

I know that all sounds ridiculous. I'm lucky to have a job, lucky to have a house to get locked out of (the Landlord let me in), lucky I have a gym membership... lucky there was even a Zumba class at all? No. I was not lucky in that aspect. I am lucky that I am alive because my roommate is in Spain and in the midst of eating crockpot chicken and painting my nails, I managed to produce an exceedingly large amount of saliva and choked on it. I can't make this up people. I literally had to go to the bathroom and hurl myself against the sink in order to make myself, literally, vomit up whatever the hell was going on down there. It was not my most prideful of moments. In the midst of it all, I was thinking, "Don't let me die like this! There is a chain on the door! Nobody will find me for days! My mom will think someone broke in and killed me because of the missing key! Then the coroner will pronounce me dead thanks to crock pot chicken!" This is legitimately my thought process. It's disturbing. But I'm alive and kicking.

So pretty much nothing turned up daisies yesterday. But the start of it all is that I feel really, really burnt out at the job. I enjoy the people I work with, but I feel like I'm not growing as a professional anymore. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut, and it's really frustrating. I see people doing things I love to do and I have so many ideas and grandiose visions and I want so badly to put them all into motion, but feel stuck. I just don't know what to do, or what I should be doing, or when I should be doing it, and how. Ever felt like that?

Then I'm watching Kim's Fairytale Wedding (which, let's just talk about this for a second -- last time I checked, a bride means a groom is involved, so why the hell is it just Kim's? Oh, right, because this is a nightmare for Kris. Kim is snobby yet adult and I feel for her planning everything because Kris is acting like a complete and utter idiot, however, Kris is also the voice of reason and rather down to Earth... so I can't decide who I hate more), and Kris Humphries says this:

"Kim, four years ago you were working at a boutique in the valley."

UM, thank you Kris Humphries. I mean, granted, she is the daughter of Robert Kardashian and her stepfather is an Olympic Gold Medalist, but still. Girlfriend was just kickin' it in Calabasas at the boutique, selling Paris Hilton's clothes on eBay. Yeah... it still sounds like a charmed life. But now she's on every magazine, endorsing every product known to man, and making $19 million off her own wedding. And, in my opinion, she's gone through some tough trials in her life. She lost her father. People can watch her having sex whenever she wants. She has to put up with Khloe. (I kid.) I believe those are two tough and humiliating things to go through. But everything you do in life teaches you a lesson and leads you to where you're supposed to go, I believe. So perhaps Kim's little endeavor at the boutique in the valley helped her build her business. Just like my little endeavor right now is helping me build my future. Right?

Regardless, I'm excited to see what God has planned for my tomorrows...

Oct 9, 2011

Halloween cocktails with Voli Light Vodka

In addition to my love of Halloween, I'm kind of a lush. Well, not really. But I enjoy a great cocktail... or four. Lately, I've enjoyed some ginger beer/vodka infused dranks, which is why I'm thrilled with Voli.

I was introduced to Voli Light Vodka this March at Giuliana Rancic's launch party for FabFitFun. It's infused with fruit and is typically 25 to 40 percent lower in calories than the leading brand, which means you can drink a few and not feel like you're going to get fat face. So that's a bonus. They can't call it "healthy" because let's be honest here, it's alcohol. It's metabolized into fat. So while it's not something we can drink all the live long day, it's the lesser of the alcoholic evils. And that's something I think we can all agree is something we're trying to figure out every Friday night. "Do I eat lunch? Or do I skip happy hour?" The decision is obvious. But now, you can eat that low-fat salad! (Just kidding. Please eat, even if you do consume your daily caloric intake in alcohol that night.)

Check out these Voli cocktails for the Halloween season. They're twists on some favorites that you and your ghouls are sure to love (sorry, I had to). Also, I threw in my own concoction for you all to try!

Voli Light Vodka is $19.99 and I saw it at BevMo! last weekend, so you're good to go. 

If you enjoy a sweeter cocktail, this is it. I'm not one for dessert bevs,
but the espresso takes the edge off. 

2 oz Voli Espresso Vanilla
1/2 oz Bailey’s

Shake and strain

GLASS: Martini
GARNISH: cocoa powder rim


Bloody Voli
Typical Bloody Mary, but with less cals.

2 oz Voli Lyte
2 oz tomato juice (spicy if you dare)
1 tsp horseradish
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
2-4 dashes hot sauce
Pinch of Salt & Pepper
Squeeze of lemon & lime wedge

GLASS: Highball
GARNISH: Celery stalk, olives, lemon and lime wedges (optional: salt & pepper rim of glass)


Voli Vamp
1 1/2 oz Voli Lemon (or Lyte)
1/4 oz Chambord (Raspberry Liqueur)
2 oz Cranberry juice
Top with club soda

Build over ice and stir

GLASS: Rocks
GARNISH: Raspberry and lemon or lime twist

APPROX CALORIES: 135 (100 calories if made with diet cranberry)

Just Bitten
This is a Moscow Mule, a Voo Doo Daddy; whatever you want to call it. It's hands down my favorite cocktail, besides my baby (the Ciroc Obama). It has a kick because of the ginger and is really refreshing to drink.

2 oz. Voli Lyte
1 lime
4-6 oz. of Ginger Beer (find at your local Liquor Store)

APPROX CALORIES: No idea. Sorry! I'd guess less that 200 though.

Cut the lime, squeeze the juice into a glass and drop half the lime in. Add ice, pour vodka over, and fill the rest with the ginger beer. Enjoy!

Oct 6, 2011

Creative Costuming: Not costuming at all

I'm fully aware that some people are not into Halloween to the lengths I am. They enjoy the holiday for the candy, but that's about it. However, when it comes to dressing up, they'd much rather dress a turkey or up an ante; not throw on a costume and pretend to be something they're not.

While I can't relate to these types, they are still entitled to feel festive during the holiday season, which is where the old fashioned skulls and all-too-popular vampires come in.

The lady is a VAMP

Lady is Vamp -- Vampire non-costume

Get your True Blood (Twilight, Vampire Diaries, etc.) on with some bloody cool looks! Creating a costume doesn't have to mean painting your face or buying a wig. Take some key elements of your favorite character and put them together for a unique look. For instance, when I think of vampires, I think of blood, the color red, teeth and capes. Capes are a must-have for fall and winter; the teeth necklace is gothic and fun, while red distinguishes the entire look. And I love turbans, so I threw one in for good measure.

Vampire Mouth tee shirt at TopShop.com -- $50.00
Corduroy Skinny Jeans by J Brand -- $290.00
Capes: red, Romwe.com -- $84.99; gray, Simplybe.com -- $64.00
Red suede heels at Heels.com -- $95.00
Office Larry shoes at office.co.uk -- $96.00
Monserat De Lucca Teeth Necklace at ShopBop.com -- $58.00
BonBon Boutique Little Gem Bracelet at Zenggi.com -- $66.00
Bloody Heels at Spirit Halloween -- In store only
Red turban by Hattbaren at Looklet.com -- See store for price

Heads will Roll

Heads Will Roll

Most of you are familiar with my obsession with skulls. I don't know why. Maybe it's my (weird and morbid) fascination with death; perhaps it's the eeriness. I have no idea. Don't ask. But if it has a skull on it, I will buy it. I should probably get checked out...

Anyway, I created this look with a Haunted House in mind. Imagine getting geared up to hit your town's Haunted Hayride or Halloween theme park. You'll be warm, you'll be festive, and you'll be scared out of your mind. Good times! Luckily, a lot of these items are from my favorite designers and outlets. Also, Lauren Moshi has a bunch of intricate skull garments on her site.

Wildfox Love Bones Baggy Jumper at ShoptheTrendBoutique.com -- $112.00
Day of the Dead tank top from UrbanOutfitters.com -- $24.00
Zoo Skull Print Cardigan at YesStyle.com -- $55.00
Adidas Panelled Jersey Leggings by Stella McCartney -- $100.00
Bertie Nigella Faux Fur Lined Army Boots at JohnLewis.com -- $93.00
East-West Skull Tote at RebeccaMinkoff.com -- $250.00
Bone to be Wild earrings at ModCloth.com --$9.99
Skull and Chain drop earrings at ASOS.com -- $14.00
Alice Hannah Pearl Turban at ASOS.com -- $30.00

And just for kicks, here is one of the sugar cookies I created for the office! "Dia de los Muertos"

Happy Haunting!

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