At least that's how I felt yesterday. Work was overbearing. I lost my house key. Don't ask me how, I have no idea where it went or how it left my key ring. The Zumba instructor was not my regular and I really couldn't deal with his rendition of Enrique Iglesias' "I Like It." Then my mom calls me because (allegedly) one of my close friend's mothers had died, according to my brother, when in all ACTUALITY he was reading his friend's Dad's Facebook (they have the same name) and it was the Dad's mother that had passed. Not a winning situation for anyone, but we're all relieved to know it wasn't the person we thought. However, I did a minor sh*t in my pants. And to top it all off, I pretty much choked to death. For real.
I know that all sounds ridiculous. I'm lucky to have a job, lucky to have a house to get locked out of (the Landlord let me in), lucky I have a gym membership... lucky there was even a Zumba class at all? No. I was not lucky in that aspect. I am lucky that I am alive because my roommate is in Spain and in the midst of eating crockpot chicken and painting my nails, I managed to produce an exceedingly large amount of saliva and choked on it. I can't make this up people. I literally had to go to the bathroom and hurl myself against the sink in order to make myself, literally, vomit up whatever the hell was going on down there. It was not my most prideful of moments. In the midst of it all, I was thinking, "Don't let me die like this! There is a chain on the door! Nobody will find me for days! My mom will think someone broke in and killed me because of the missing key! Then the coroner will pronounce me dead thanks to crock pot chicken!" This is legitimately my thought process. It's disturbing. But I'm alive and kicking.
So pretty much nothing turned up daisies yesterday. But the start of it all is that I feel really, really burnt out at the job. I enjoy the people I work with, but I feel like I'm not growing as a professional anymore. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut, and it's really frustrating. I see people doing things I love to do and I have so many ideas and grandiose visions and I want so badly to put them all into motion, but feel stuck. I just don't know what to do, or what I should be doing, or when I should be doing it, and how. Ever felt like that?
Then I'm watching Kim's Fairytale Wedding (which, let's just talk about this for a second -- last time I checked, a bride means a groom is involved, so why the hell is it just Kim's? Oh, right, because this is a nightmare for Kris. Kim is snobby yet adult and I feel for her planning everything because Kris is acting like a complete and utter idiot, however, Kris is also the voice of reason and rather down to Earth... so I can't decide who I hate more), and Kris Humphries says this:
"Kim, four years ago you were working at a boutique in the valley."
UM, thank you Kris Humphries. I mean, granted, she is the daughter of Robert Kardashian and her stepfather is an Olympic Gold Medalist, but still. Girlfriend was just kickin' it in Calabasas at the boutique, selling Paris Hilton's clothes on eBay. Yeah... it still sounds like a charmed life. But now she's on every magazine, endorsing every product known to man, and making $19 million off her own wedding. And, in my opinion, she's gone through some tough trials in her life. She lost her father. People can watch her having sex whenever she wants. She has to put up with Khloe. (I kid.) I believe those are two tough and humiliating things to go through. But everything you do in life teaches you a lesson and leads you to where you're supposed to go, I believe. So perhaps Kim's little endeavor at the boutique in the valley helped her build her business. Just like my little endeavor right now is helping me build my future. Right?
Regardless, I'm excited to see what God has planned for my tomorrows...