Nov 1, 2011

Crazy, that's how it goes

Lengthy blog post lies ahead... get ready!

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Wow. How quickly this weekend has passed, let alone the entire month of October! I had an absolute blast with so much to look forward to. It just reminds me everyday that God is blessing my life in ways that I could never imagine, and to keep my head up.

Where to start? My favorite holiday has come and gone, but like most others, I feel like Halloween drug on and on and on this year. It was a tad bit exhausting, but exciting none the less. I also managed to turn back time and become a prepubescent teenager again, as depicted by my forehead. I have never had acne but I guess it has to happen sooner or later. I'd rather just crawl in a hole and die than deal with this. I can't believe I'm actually admitting this to the entire free world... but no amount of Proactiv can salvage this situation. It's a real sorry state and I need my dermatologist to answer her phone ASAP. I can probably attribute this mess to my poor eating habits and over excess of sugar, which has definitely affected my hormones. No more candy!!!!

It feels like my trip to Fort Worth was decades ago. I can barely even remember last week. But here's my best recap:

MONDAY, OCTOBER 24TH: GLAMOUR MAGAZINE "REEL MOMENTS" EVENT

After recovering from the chaos that was Homecoming, I came back to work with a vengeance. I was asked to work the Glamour Reel Moments event at the Directors' Guild and it was awesome to see some of the most beautiful women in television and film debut their short movies. It was sponsored by Clarisonic, and I was secretly hoping to get a new one since my original peaced out last year, but alas we did not receive one. Hook me up, Clarisonic

My job at these events is two-fold: recognize talent (we had several interns who didn't know who was who) and get the talent coverage from my assigned group of media. It can be interesting doing this do-si-do because it's a hierarchy of which talent is more important to the story the journalist is trying to write or produce, but in the end we all try to help each other out.

Getty Images
Eva Longoria directed a film called "A Proper Send-Off" and I really enjoyed it! It's about a woman who has the breast cancer gene and has to decide on whether or not to remove her breasts. The coolest part of these short films is that they're all based on true stories -- the winners were selected by Glamour and then turned into shorts.

Zoe Saldana recruited Malin Ackerman and Bradley Cooper as the parents of "Kalien," a story about a child with autism. It was very beautiful visually and while I thought the child actor (at the end) was subpar, the message was powerful.

Olivia Wilde directed "Free Hugs," a story about a downward spiral after a breakup. I kind of refused to watch after five minutes because I couldn't envy nor even empathize with the main character, but Olivia Wilde is a major babe-a-tron so maybe I'll give it another watch. 

Check out all of the shorts -- for every view, Glamour will donate $1 to Look Good ... Feel Better.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 25TH: LIVE AT THE ELLEN SHOW

I went to see ELLEN with Kristen and we had a blast! I was pretty much depressed because, after looking at the lineup for the week, I figured we were missing Justin Timberlake & Coldplay by one day (I assumed they filmed a day in advance). However, when we got there, we were shooting for Friday. This means that they shoot three shows in advance, because they don't shoot on Fridays; they shoot double on Thursdays. Plus, they already had promotional footage of JT and Coldplay, which leads me to believe they had shot it all the day before us since Thursday was the latest set of footage they had (they had nothing for Friday, obviously, since we were shooting it). 

Our guests were Kevin Nealon (Weeds), Michelle Williams ("My Week with Marilyn") and Ariel Winter (Modern Family). They last time I was on the show, Julie Bowen was on for Mother's Day; I guess my theme for the shows are typically Modern Family and holidays... or close to them (Ellen was shooting the Halloween show the next day). Notes: the entire show is a blast. You dance the entire time. Everyone is friendly. Ellen is amazing. Michelle Williams is beyond thin. Ariel Winter's dress was rather short, but she looked great, although I was scared the camera was shooting her panties the entire time. 

There were a few different segments Ellen did on our show in-between her interviews. She sent her correspondent (Jeannie?) out to Chicago and tweeted to her followers in Chi City to dress up and meet at some landmark. They did. Then they had a live feed and picked a few groups to compete to win a ton of cash. Basically they had to create the most creative horsemanning photo. If you don't know what that is, Google it. it's 1000 times better than planking, owling or any of that other crap. 

Here's the video of the competition:


Because the Groupon Now app sponsored this competition, all of us in the audience won a $100 Groupon gift card! Not bad! Can't wait for laser hair removal Groupons...


Then, Ellen said she was doing this thing where she was going to bring down a special audience member who waited forever to get their Ellen tickets. She brought down a nurse named Sarah from San Diego and chatted with her a bit, and after a few minutes we all realized that the entire bit was a giant hoax! Turns out she just needed to get Sarah down to the stage so her boyfriend could propose.
It sounds cheesy, but I almost teared up. It was so sweet and Sarah had no idea what was happening. 

Because they met on Match.com, Match gave them $50,000 for their wedding and the entire audience got six months free... so yes, I'm on Match.com, and boy I can't wait to start a new column entitled "Douches that have messaged me on Match.com."

good lord.

I don't even remember Wednesday or Thursday, except that I managed to attend a beauty event at the old homeland, Frederic Fekkai, for Lia Sophia jewelry. It was great to catch up with some old friends and meet new ones, as well as take home some swag from Lia Sophia! They jewelry line is really adorable and I love the gold bracelet I got.

With my dear Carlos at the Lia Sophia event

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 28TH: PARENTALS LAND IN TINSELTOWN

My parents came into town! This is the first time both of them were here together. I can't tell you how calming it was to have them in my new(ish) home. They stayed with me in my apartment for a few days and I felt like I was legitimately back in Georgetown. Waking up and having your parents in the next room just makes you feel like a kid again, and I loved waking up to my mom coming in my room instead of an alarm. They did the usual parental things: got me gas, fed me; Mom cleaned and rearranged our kitchen (it looks great). They left yesterday and I am hurting, because I miss getting that type of TLC! I wish they were just a drive away.

We were all kind of tired after they arrived, so after dinner at El Coyote we went to bed. Zzzzzz.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 29TH: DEAD MAN'S LAND

We woke up, grabbed brunch at Mel's Diner (an icon) and then headed to Grauman's Chinese Theater to board the Crime Scene Tour. Our guide was a retired LAPD detective named Don and just hearing his voice makes you think of a cop. He fit the mold perfectly and was so informative! Even if you live in LA, I highly encourage any Starline Tour because they're full of info that you probably aren't aware of.

We went through a series of deaths and crimes, including the Chateau Marmont, where John Belushi died at Bungalow 3. I was actually just at this very Bungalow for the Essie Emmys event a few weeks ago, which is so eerie and bizarre to think about. He talked about the Black Dahlia before taking us to Brentwood to see Nicole Brown Simpson's home, where she and Ron Goldman were found dead. I found this part so interesting because Detective Don worked on this case and gave up so much fascinating information that we'd never heard before, especially about evidence that was not allowed to be brought in to play. He also said that Robert Kardashian was "scum of the earth," (in is opinion). When asked why, he said that OJ gave Robert a Louis Vuitton suit bag with the clothes OJ had worn to kill Nicole and Ron. When the police asked Robert for it, he claimed he had no knowledge of the bag, although there is documentation and photographs of the exchange. 

It's unsettling that OJ Simpson got away with murder. He had Nicole's blood on the bottom of his shoes. He should have been convicted, yet Don said LAPD has had issues with getting their suspects convicted of the actual crimes they believe they committed.

We drove to Studio City to investigate the murder of Bonny Lee Bakely, wife to Robert Blake. It seems crazy that he was let off as well, based on the evidence at hand. We walked the area of where the car was parked when Bonny was murdered and how it would have been easy for Robert to shoot and kill his wife.

Finally, we hit North Hollywood to walk the perimeter of the North Hollywood shootings. The fact that innocent bystanders drove by these lunatics who were wielding machine guns and got away without any injuries is amazing. Even the people that were injured managed to stay alive, and Don said it was because the assailants were on drugs and had no idea how to use the weapons, so they would think they were shooting the cops but were actually shooting their own windshield. The LAPD footage was insane! We saw an aerial view of everything and I'm surprised more people weren't put in ICU, let alone stayed alive. The one shooter still managed to walk on his legs after being shot 30 TIMES!!! He was drugged out and I'm sure the adrenaline helped to keep him moving, but Don said after everything was said and done, both legs were obliterated.

The parentals and I hung out for awhile, ate dinner and made popcorn balls (they were amazing, as usual) before I headed to celebrate Halloween with my girlfriends as Elvira Hancock from "Scarface." Hilarious that we live in literal Tinseltown yet nobody can get a decent "Scarface" reference. Next year I am determined to have a Tony Montana on my arm!



Yours truly as Elvira Hancock from Scarface

After posting a few photos, I had some of my girfriends say I needed to cut my hair and dye it platinum blonde. I don't think I'm ready to cut it yet bu I feel a change in my future!

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 30TH: EAT, EAT, TIM BURTON, EAT

We ate, ate and ate some more. We also hit up the Tim Burton exhibit at LACMA at 11:00 PM. It was interesting to read his notes and see his sketches, most of which were turned into movies or shorts. They had Catwoman's suit, Batman's mask, all the heads of Jack Skellington used in the "Nightmare Before Christmas," various puppets of his most famous characters, Edward Scissorhand's costume and plenty more. It was kind of twisted but very entertaining, and definitely something my parents wouldn't be able to partake in Texas!

MONDAY, OCTOBER 31ST: THE DAY KIM KARDASHIAN STOLE HALLOWEEN NIGHT OF THE LIVING (AND BLONDE) DEAD

I woke up to Mom telling me that Kim Kardashian was getting a divorce; her, myself and my father all had discussed this prospect the past few days. Happy Halloween!

We spent most of the day leisurely eating and running errands before getting ready for the world famous West Hollywood Halloween Carnival. They estimated around 500,000 people were there! I painted everyone's faces, including my own. Dad was Frankenstein, I drew a spiderweb on Mom, and Nat & I were skeletons inspired by Lady Gaga's "Born This Way." I didn't do too shabby, right?

Frankie and Spidey

Look at them pearly whites!
Some notes about the carnival:
  • So many people were dressed as cops, I had no idea who was real and who was fake. It was pretty terrifying. I felt really anxious about this the entire time.
  • Thank goodness most people we encountered weren't drunk. I can't imagine being inebriated and trying to navigate through 500,000 humans in costumes. Forget Elm Street, that would be a real nightmare.
  • I know how this is going to sound, but whatever. I was praying that nobody would make a vulgar comment to me (it happens) in front of my dad. He doesn't need to hear those things.
  • We were dressed as skeletons and we still had people making creepy comments to us... which makes me realize this is a sick, sick world.
  • There was this adorable child dressed as a skunk and I was wondering why he looked terrified of us -- I forgot I looked like a living corpse.
He's terrified of me.
RANT TIME

Also, I'll say it once and I'll say it again. Ladies, quit it with the slut act on Halloween. Here's my problem: those outfits you have on? You don't look good. When I see Marissa Miller with no top on and booty shorts, I'm like, "HELL YEAH.  I want to look like this hoe." Except she's not a hoe at all, because SHE GETS PAID lots of money to remove clothes and look good naked. Not to mention her body is a brick house, and half the women I saw last night were skinny-fat and didn't have bodies to be worshiped in the slightest. 

Are you that infatuated with yourself that you feel the need to dress with the least amount of clothing to show off your body? I have news for you: it's called swimsuit season. Flaunt it then, when the climate is temperate and you're not risking pneumonia. Flaunt it in the bedroom with your significant other -- not complete strangers. Hell, flaunt it in the women's locker room for all I care. But on Halloween? Halloween weekend? The month of October? Where (in most cases) it's around 50 degrees or below on any given night? THAT DOESN'T MAKE A LOT OF SENSE, ladies. We sit here, demanding respect from men, yet show up on the streets dressed up as Eve with only a few leaves covering our hoo-has...? Seriously. It's embarrassing.

It doesn't take a lot of effort to be a skank. Just put on as little clothing as possible and call it a day. Prove you have a brain, a sense of humor, some creativity; SOMETHING more than just a scantily-clad body. You can be beautiful and sexy without having look like you're going to be sold into sexual slavery.

Also, this really chaps me to the brim: aren't you supposed to dress like something you're not, or something you aspire to be, or SOMETHING for Halloween? Like, dress up like Miss Piggy, because you sure as hell aren't a pig. Or a nightstand, because you're not an inanimate object. Or perhaps you dress like Katy Perry (I think you can make her costume an even distribution of fun, sexy and delicious) or Wonder Woman. That's fine. But really, who wants to be a french maid? Or a prisoner? Or a stripper? Does anyone really aspire to be in any of those positions? The answer, my friends, is HELL NAH.

Furthermore, don't most of us have a dad? I just think of what would happen if I was roaming around in a sea of people with men looking at my bare butt cheeks and my areolas almost exposed, and then ran into my father. He would properly shit an entire gourd (just in time for Thanksgiving) before removing me from the situation. Really ladies, make your fathers proud and stop whoring yourself out for Halloween.

BACK TO THE POINT

My parents ended up leaving yesterday, and it broke my heart to see my mom cry. It's always difficult to see your parents cry or get upset. I realized this weekend that I am overly protective of them, and it's kind of hilarious actually, given I used to give my parents both so much crap for always protecting me. It's that bizarre moment in life when you realize you aren't a kid and they're getting older and the roles start to reverse, bit by bit. I was so concerned about them even walking alone that I was hesitant to leave them by themselves at all this weekend. 

Or maybe I was just trying to spend as much time with them as I could... 

Hope everyone had a fantastic October. Here's to great expectations for November!

My trophy from the costume contest earlier this month
Daddis at El Coyote
Mima's favorite actor
Mom baking... her specialty!
Popcorn balls! So delicious!

Just looking for Tony Montana
KRISPY!!
Brooke as a showgirl

After brunch at Morell's
My "preshis" mom
Waiting for Tim Burton's exhibit at LACMA 
Padre was getting sleepis
presh!
Getting ready for the transformation!
Hire me now, gents. 
This is fricken cute. 
Ready to go!
Robyn performing at the WeHo Carnival
Angry Birds display
Cam & Mitch from Modern Family -- great costume!
My favorite! "Occupy Sesame Street"
People went all out
I honestly have no idea who or what this is
Me. In the road.  On La Cienega/SMB.
Once in a lifetime in LA.
MUPPETS! 
Gang's all here
I'm bringing dead back
Jack Skellington. This guy wore stilts the whole night
A baby squale?
No, a baby skunk. 
????
Chick as Kim Kardashian... she's holding divorce papers.
Inspector Gadget... hoo hoo
Mass chaos... and destruction
Really great Edward Scissorhands costume!
Thanks for reading!



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