Jan 22, 2012


If you know me (pretty much) at all, via Twitter, real life, or anything in between, I do not take myself seriously. Work? I take it seriously. Puppies? Take them very seriously. Blogging? Definitely. Myself? No. Not ever.

Granted most of you reading this are probably new Twitter followers... which I'll get to in a second. But let's be honest: I'm 25 and most people mistake me for 18. I'm a blond from Texas. My name is Kirbie. There are many things about me to not be taken seriously.

Therefore, tonight, when propositioned (not personally) to act like a complete idiot on Twitter in order to get a Twitter follow, I knew what I had to do. So basically here's what happened: somebody Tweeted my favorite person to follow on Twitter, @ChrissyTeigen, the following: "What would it take for you to follow?"

To which she responded:

To then, which she followed up with:

I happen to be at a surprise birthday with a bunch of coworkers when I see this. Not one to take a contest lightly, I tell Nat that I need a small plant... and immediately. Given we were in Tarzana and at a bachelor's home, we both knew finding a tiny potted plant for me to hold was pretty much out of the question. Therefore, I run my anus outside and break off a giant leaf from the (basically) amusement park of shrubbery going on, and bring it back to the ottoman I am sitting at so we can hold an impromptu photo sesh of me, scratching my armpit and acting like I had no teeth -- in front of 50 or so people -- fireside. 

This gem was the biproduct of quick thinking and throwing all poise to the wind. 

She's tweeted me a few times in the past, which was gratifying, but I like to go ALL OUT in all aspects of my life, and a simple response is not adequate enough. I want a true commitment that only Twitter can provide: a follow. (Hey, Katy unfollowed Russell, Demi unfollowed Ashton... following MEANS something.)

The best thing about this photo? I thought she meant "no teeth," but really she meant "smiling like a creeper, with no teeth showing." That's the sole reason I love Twitter. It's all up for interpretation. 


Epic retweet time! 

(Notice how I favorited that tweet like a loser boss)

Welcome new followers (cough cough CHRISSY TEIGEN). 
That makes me sound like L. Ron Hubbard...

So what have we learned here? Too many things, but namely a) Twitter brings people together, b) I will do absolutely anything for Twitter followers (???????), c) there are celebrities who don't just retweet people who are like "OMG ROB KARDASHIAN I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES BECUZ UR SOOOOO SEXIIIIII" or "VANILLA ICE IS THE MAN, HE'S THE HARDEST WORKING DUDE IN THIS BIZ!!!!!!!!" and they actually make things fun and not self-indulgent. So thanks for that, celebrities on Twitter who aren't self-righteous, humorless twits. :)

UPDATE: 3/10/2014 Chrissy is, in fact, still following me on Twitter. Have I been muted? We'll never know. However, she started following me last week on Instagram, so I feel like a friendship (IRL) *might* be in the cards. Just sayin. If you want to learn how to get hot hair like CTeigs, check out my video tutorial with her stylist

NOTE: No plants were harmed in the making of this photo. Actually, one was. But I doubt it will miss one leaf. It should grow back in no time. I pretty much made that leaf's night because afterwards I put it in my hair as I danced to "Apache" by Sugarhill Gang with Nat. What leafs do you know that have had the opportunity to dance to APACHE?

Speaking of... videos of people dancing to this sh*t never gets old. Ever. Here are some Marines partaking in some Fresh Prince action, for your viewing pleasure.

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