Nov 17, 2012

Excuses are like...

Does anyone like excuses? No. Because more than likely, if you're giving one, you screwed something up, or pissed someone off. 

Here are just a few things nobody needs your excuses for:

1. Not Meeting a Deadline
If you live in a deadline-driven world at work, or you're in school, you know that excuses aren't going to help if you miss a deadline. That is, unless someone died, or you're about to die. Don't bother explaining that you "forgot" and you're going through a traumatic time because you just broke up with your boyfriend. In the real world, unfortunately, nobody cares about this problem of yours (in this particular instance). It's like that quote: "Might as well be happy because nobody cares if you're sad." Might as well suck it up and deal with the consequences because nobody cares why you didn't meet the deadline.

There are appropriate times to explain yourself. Maybe your coworker is trying to sabotage you, or it's the third time this has happened in a month and you realize it's because your boss has moved the deadline six times in the past five days. But if you can't meet a deadline, what are you doing with your life? Pull it together.

Exceptions: death in the family; hospitalization.

2. Cheating
If you cheated, this is how that conversation needs to go:
"I cheated on you, I'm deeply sorry because I know I hurt you, and there is no good excuse for this. I can't change it."
Your relationship is probably over, but even if they ask what happened, don't tell them. This is for their own good. They don't need to know that you "didn't love" the other person, that you were drunk, or you were doing it to get back at them for texting so-and-so for the past four weeks. Let it be. In the long run, it will help them not to deal with ghosts of boyfriends/girlfriends past, and frankly, no excuse can really fix the impending doom your relationship is about to go through.

Exceptions: marriage. I think marriage is one of those things where you try your hardest to work it out. I wouldn't give the dirty details, and I wouldn't say who it was. But I would definitely not give any excuses either.

3. Why You're Not Dating or Married Yet
If you are 25 and single (like I am) I have every Tom, Dick, Harry & Sally asking me why I'm not actively dating and why I haven't found Mr. Right. First off, screw you. I don't have to have an excuse for this, and frankly, I'm sick of talking about it. Am I not allowed to be alone? And enjoy my life without having a significant other? I like knowing I can leave work at 7:00, still have time to work out and hit the gym, and be in bed by 10:30 or 11:00 -- without worrying about meeting with my boyfriend. I know that sounds ludicrous to some people, but right now I don't want to make time for anyone else except me and what I want out of life. I don't need an excuse to be selfish as this age.

If you are longing to have a love in your life and you've been waiting patiently for The One, stay patient. And don't make excuses. You don't have to explain to anyone why that person hasn't come into your life yet, or why you don't date more, or why you blew off the guy your friends set you up with after the first date. Love isn't forced, and if you're not feeling it, don't waste your time! Just be open, be ready, and be excited and hopeful for things to come.

Also, if you're in a happy relationship, it can be really hard to hear, "so, when are you two getting hitched?" when all of your friends are moving that way. Let things happen the way they should. Don't feel pressured.

Exceptions: None. Don't excuse yourself because others can't understand your situation.



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