Mar 23, 2016

The One Where Nobody Knew Matthew Lawrence

My brother is a solid six years younger than me. I think I enjoyed being an only child, but I was much happier when he was born. I enjoy being a big sister; God only knows if he'll sacrifice a few children's lives and make me their mother, so being a big sister is my outlet for all things maternal. 

That said, my brother teaches me things as well. Mostly about slang I don't understand, but sometimes, he really opens my eyes! It always ends with me feeling geriatric, but I learn something nonetheless.

Being six years younger, Nick wasn't exposed to a lot of the popular culture that I grew up with, and he definitely doesn't remember things the way I do. Here's an example: my mom got Botox for the first time a few years back. I loved it — she looked amazing! Basically it was my mom with 20 years taken off; a refreshed, enhanced version of the woman who runs the house. (PS: she loved it too. She wants me to be her Botox broker.) While I was singing her praises, Nick couldn't have been any more disturbed. It freaked him out. He didn't like seeing her without lines on her face. And that got me thinking: when Nick was old enough to really look at Mom, she was probably 40. (She had him at 34.)  So of course, he only knew her with the fine lines. But I knew what she looked like without them, because I was born a good six years before him. Mom and I laugh about that still — how he's never known her without wrinkles. Weird stuff.

Anyway, today, my coworker (and one of my favorite people to follow on social media) Britt posted this article.
Names, photos and profanity blurred so nobody loses a job

The chain that ensued is probably one of my favorite chains to ever appear on the internet. Women were OUTRAGED. And rightfully so! "The boy from Mrs. Doubtfire." ARE YOU FOR REAL, CHILD? It's Matthew Lawrence for God's sake! 

Please dive into this post with me. 


First, I'm very concerned that she explains what Mrs. Doubtfire is.  Moving on.


At this point: is she joking? Of course he's hot. He's a Lawrence brother. In fact, he's the hottest one! (No offense, Joey and Andy.)


"The actor" ???????????? — face palm. I mean, true statement. He is an actor. But he's not just a random dude that got booked one movie! He was all over Tiger Beat and J-14! 

Hello butt cut

At this point, you're thinking, "Surely she knows that's the youngest bro, ANDREW. That HAS to spark her memory! Brotherly Love anyone? ANYONE?"


But no. Even with a tweet that references the three boys as "The Lawrence Family," she still denies Matthew's legacy as one of the greatest teen heartthrobs of our generation. 

So here's the deal. The author is 23. She just graduated college in 2015. I don't knock her for her youth! In fact, I'm applaud it! (I digress.) That means she was born in 1992/1993. It makes sense that she might not be aware of people like Joey Lawrence, who paved the way for his younger siblings. I don't blame her for not knowing what Blossom is. But surely she recalls a little show called Boy Meets World?! 

And guess what? I might be older, but I am a millennial. I made the cut by a whopping five years! So if I'm required to understand what dabbing is, how to "properly" use Snapchat and know people like One Direction, Halsey and Fifth Harmony (who I love, BTW), younger millennials are required to do their homework and pay their proper respects. Truthfully, I'd be more devastated if this was a post about "an actor named Jonathan Taylor Thomas," but this still hurts.

Anyway, I know you're thinking this post is over now. It's not. I couldn't believe that there were people in the world who would look at Matthew Lawrence and think, "oh yeah, the kid from Mrs. Doubtfire!" So I interrogated my brother. 


Breaking down the facts. He was born in 1992, graduated last year. (I knew that. I gave him his first bath in the hospital and  I had the worst hangover of my life at his graduation. Just wanted to clarify for you guys.) Now to the meat.


Yikes. "He's from Mrs. Doubtfire." This isn't good, but I'm not giving up on him yet.


MATTHEW! Yes child. Mama has done good. 


Wow. 


How does one just forget one of the greatest television series of all time? Does Mr. Feeney mean nothing to you? 

This is when I broke things down for him. 

Joey Lawrence = pop star in the 80's/90's, wore ripped, tight jeans and appeared in Blossom. He said "whoa!" a sh*t ton. As the eldest brother, he paved the way for Matthew (the middle child) and Andrew (the youngest).

They had a show on Disney channel called Brotherly Love. Joey sang the theme song. 


The show appeared after Growing Pains and I watched it religiously. It got cancelled after a year (I think) and then Matthew went on to be the hot dude that lived with Eric on Boy Meets World. Probably a decade later, Joey starred in show with Melissa Joan Hart. 


YEAH BOY. You might redeem yourself...


I got carried away and started educating him about many teen stars of the 90's. Surely he knew Kirk Cameron, right? I watched Growing Pains on the regular. Leo was in GP! But no. He had no idea.


"I usually remember guys that look like douchebags lol" -_- 

You can't talk about Mike Seaver and not bring up the fact that his sister is, in fact, DJ TANNER. So I explained that bit to him. And Nick probably only recognizes her because she's on The View now. 

It all came full circle, though.


I don't know why I'm so surprised by all of this. This is the kid who started watching the entire series of FRIENDS last year and messaged me this:







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